Steak for Breakfast

Me, a night shift nurse. There's good. There's bad. And yes, there's ugly. 

I started out my day yesterday waking up, showering, and running to the local grocery store for some salad for a dinner I had planned with one of my favorite families, their last night with their son before they send him off to college. The first thing I ate yesterday was steak. 

Momma probably would have been in awe if I woke up as a child or a teen and asked for steak for breakfast. That is a little abnormal. But the steak for breakfast yesterday? That was completely not off-the-wall at all for me. That is my new norm. No I don't eat steak for breakfast everyday, but the reason supper at 9pm was my 'breakfast' time is because working night shift has taken its hold on me, and rarely releases its grip. 

______________________

the Good: 

If you asked me a year and half ago if I enjoyed night shift, I would have said yes, absolutely, with no reserve. If you asked me yesterday, I would have said yes again. But the hesitation is becoming more evident, creeping up. My body and mind usually do okay sleeping in the day and staying awake all night. I am an energetic person. It is my norm. I love to laugh, and enjoy even more to make other people laugh, even if sometimes they are just laughing at my snaughling. 



Since being on night shift, I have had multiple of my elders and peers discouraging it,  pushing me to opt for a day shift position if I was given the choice. But back when I started on night shift, I was excited. Hey, differential, am I right? I enjoy the management-less building. I enjoy the drama-less co-workers I typically get to work with all night long. But. Over the past 12 months. My drive to be on night shift has certainly lessened. I still enjoy the differential, but it was never all about the money for me, and never will be. I still enjoy most of my co-workers, although sometimes some of my faves really let me down. But my heart doesn't seem to be in it anymore. 

the Bad:

I am emotionally exhausted. I go to work, do my best to please the patients while still maintaining the healthcare standards necessary and put in place to give them the best care to my ability and within my scope of practice, and get them healthy and home as soon as possible. But I go to work, and my patience is literally about as short as the fuse on a Bobcat (firecracker that is). It takes about 3 seconds of an unable-to-be-satisfied-patient's bad attitude to make me want to just go home immediately. Unfortunately in those moments, patients still need their nurses to get better and get home, so emergency emotional-breakdown-on-the-verge-Rachael moments, don't come with a quick solution at all hours of the night/morning. 

I used to go to work everyday, and think about how blessed I am that I am not the sick one in the bed. That I was privileged enough to be able to go to school, had worked hard enough to graduate, and now get to go to work every single day to help make people's lives better. Yes, even the 6 year old who I have to put an IV in, yes even that child, I get to do what I can to make that kid's life better. Here lately, I still find myself blessed that I am well, and able to care for those that aren't. But each shift feels more like a routine, like a cycle, like I am a hamster stuck in this wheel called life. The only relief from what has seemingly become an episode of my life stuck on constant repeat, is sleep. 

the Ugly:

I am mentally exhausted. I bring it home. I take it to my best friend's house. I take it to my Mom's. I have to hide it in church, where I should feel most free to be most transparent, I hide it best. I am tired at weird times all the time. It makes me moody sometimes. I am very impatient with people. I am easily annoyed with pointless (in my opinion) stories and wasted time. Sleeping all day, even on my nights off, because I have no motivation, I have few friends here, and we typically live on opposite schedules. I would not consider myself a clinically depressed person, I still find joy in simple things, and I can still sport a smile like a champ, but I guarantee I smile a significant amount less than a year ago. I notice it, I notice the increased negativity, and am unable to find the means to change it.  And I strongly believe working nights can assume part of that blame. As well as the devil himself.



I am spiritually exhausted. My faith in God has not faltered, not one bit. But, I don't strive to feed it. I don't just sit down and read my Bible anymore. I used to always make a point of it, even if it meant reading on my break at work, I would always find time to sit and at least read a chapter or two. It was important, very important to me. Seems I got comfortable where my relationship with Christ was, and I pushed it aside, I don't make it a priority anymore. I used to be able to attend Thursday night Bible study with the ladies as well as Wednesday morning coffee. But even those are few and far between anymore. But simply put, I don't spend as much time hanging out with God as I used to. And that is wearing on me. That is the ugliest part of me right now. 

______________________

If you're reading this. Maybe you are finding yourself in a similar struggle or slump. Welcome. You are so incredibly not alone. In fact, before reading this blog, before realizing there is someone else out there with some of the similar struggles, God was there. He is always there. I never forget that, not anymore. But sometimes I feel Him closer than other times. Not because He moves away from me, but because I find myself drifting away from Him. 



Instead of worrying about whether I am on day shift or night shift, pray for my walk with God. Instead of asking me why I am still single, pray for my Mr. Forever. Instead of wondering if I am getting more (enough) sleep, pray that I am getting more God-time, and in correlation acquiring more patience at work, at home, and just in my all-around life. Starting with my poor roommate that never gets to see me, but when she is unfortunate enough to have a run-in with me, it is usually not the most pleasant experience from her end I am sure. Sorry Becca. 

As I continue trying to find myself in this crazy world, I pray I continue my endeavor to find more and more of God. I pray that my family, co-workers, friends, and acquaintances will accept my sincere apology for my recent setbacks in my faith, attitude, and all-around peace.

Lastly, get yourself to church. Fellowship with my believing peers keeps me sane. Do yourself a favor, and get to church. It is free, family-friendly, and necessary. 

"For where 2 or 3 are gathered together in My name, there I am in the midst of them." 
-Matthew 18:20 KJV

"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord." 
-Colossians 3:16 

Now, enjoy some of the not-so-random video links I post at the end of each blog. #sofittingrightnow

Stand ~ Britt Nicole 

Hurricane ~ Natalie Grant  

My Deliverer ~ Mandisa

Thank you for reading! May God bless you in every way today and throughout your life. 

'Mom, I'm hungry.'

'Mom, I'm hungry.'  Blurts out my 5-year-old nephew in the back seat of the van.

...fast forward 67 seconds...   

 '...still hungry Mom!'

Like hello Mom, did you forget? My stomach is still hollering at me! It doesn't matter how patient or impatient I am, I cannot control how patient my stomach is!

I think that we are this way with God. We pray, fervently perhaps, for things we think we need or know we want. We pray over and over again, maybe we pray for the same thing twice in the same prayer, just in case God may have forgotten, like his Mom must have forgotten about his hunger pains. We pray that God will heal all ills and comfort those who are hurting. Not tomorrow though, we cannot wait on tomorrow, but why not right now? God fix us now, comfort them now, You can, so why don't You? Why do You feel the need to 'try our patience' for so long?

We find it unfair at times, life in general, but especially the moments where God is saying, 'Trust me, I know what I am doing. I see the pain in your heart, I know the ending, give Me time, and let Me do what I do, one day you too will understand dear child.' God is perfectly just, even when circumstances seem terribly unfair. He has a plan, His timing can be trusted.

He tells us in the book of Proverbs, chapter 3 verse 5 to 'Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.'   '...with ALL thine heart.' What does this mean to you? To me, it means no matter what my brain thinks is possible or impossible, no matter what my emotions believe is fair or unfair, no matter what the world tells me is just or unjust, the Lord is in control, especially when I don't understand it. God makes many promises in His Word, but not that life will be fair. Not that life will be easy. Not that life will work according to our plans and purposes, but His plans. In Romans 8:28 Paul writes that, 'we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.' Emphasizing, that it is not what we want when we want it, but what we need when He determines we need it, for His glory.

There are a lot of things about God that I don't know and cannot explain, but one thing I know is true; God loves at all times.

I know that He will never leave us.

I know that this battle isn't ours. The battle belongs to the Lord, let Him fight for you. Save your emotional energy and use it to dig into His Word like never before. Our job is to be obedient to God, His job is winning the battle. We can't do it alone anyway, just let Him do Him.

I know that the battle may not be easy or short-lived, but victory will be there for those who trust in God.

I know that God is good, even when circumstances are darker than you ever imagined. God is good even when people aren't. God is good even when things seem stinking hopeless. God is good even we aren't. God is good and can be trusted.

And, I know that God is good at being God. Don't try to fix what He hasn't assigned you to fix. Be patient and know the He is working on it. 

 
Be still. And know, He is God. Be patient, He has it under control.

God doesn't simply pour a big dose of patience into our lives overnight. He builds it in us, through experiences--sometimes very hard ones, and sometimes very small and seemingly silly ones... The small experiences increase our capacity to tackle bigger ones with greater strength. Each experience, big or small, is training us to endure, creating a solid foundation in our lives to prepare us for what may come.

 Trust in You- ~ Lauren Daigle                                       Breathe ~ Jonny Diaz      

 While I'm Waiting ~ John Waller

Tests in Life

'Deeper love...down to our very soul. It's there we have an anchor who will not let us go; the Lord who calmed the sea is the One who sees us through; He's given us...a deeper love.' ~Diane Machen

 

I remember the day I woke for my NCLEX (state board exam for nursing). I woke up, early of course, for some (probably useless) last minute cramming. I remember showing up early, my stomach in my throat, threatening to expel it's contents at any second. I remember emptying my pockets' contents and my phone into a locker. I remember scanning my fingerprint(s). Being led to a computer in a room of about 6 desktops. I remember quietly filling my lungs to max capacity and letting it out slowly. Then starting. I don't remember any of the questions, in fact I couldn't even tell you today, just a year and a half after taking it, what one of the frequent topics was. I remember answering the 75th question (50 minutes into the test) and then the test shutting off. At that moment, the inhale was much sharper, and I felt immediate hypertension onset. I knew with all my heart that I had just failed. I did not feel confident about most of the topics that happened to come through the mix. I remember sitting there for a minute in utter disbelief, already dreading another testing fee. I then gathered myself, exited the room, grabbed my things from the locker, did my best to smile at the desk lady (wasn't her fault I had just failed), and exited the building, only to be met by the gorgeous and sunny mid-June day that had been forming outside. The weather alone should have been enough to lift my spirits, the sun alone usually did the trick, but not that day.

I had learned of a suggested 'cheat' or quick way to know if you passed or not online, by trying to schedule another date, but it wasn't a proven hack. If it let you schedule another test, you failed. If it didn't you presumably passed. My blood pressure dipped a little after I was unable to do so. At which point, I took my stressed self into my room, threw on some sneakers, and went and hoofed a good 7 miles around Hays; all the while praying, hoping, wishing that I had passed that test, all the while having a huge gut feeling I hadn't. I didn't text anyone, I didn't call anyone, it was just God, my crazy emotions, and I. The last 2 were a bad match that day. I mean total hot mess status.

There are few moments where I had ever felt so nervous or anxious that I just knew if I did anything other than breathe, I was going to vomit. In fact, I can only think of two since that day. But each time, including that day, whatever was going to happen, was going to happen. But I am human, so worry is exactly what I did. I am not usually an anxious person, but that day my anxiety was probably at a committable level.

 

That's the thing, no matter what happens with each test we are faced with in life, we can only do so much, we can only control so much of the outcome. All we can do is the best to our ability, and trust in the Lord's will to be fulfilled and the outcome, no matter what, will be the best for us, because that is all God wants for His children. So no matter how hard it is, the more you trust God, the more you grow in your faith in Him, the more you jump in and read His Word, the easier relying on Him and all things working out will come to you.

If you're wondering, or missed it in my bio, I passed my boards that day. Lost a bunch of calories walking a bunch of miles while in my anxious mess, but the stomach contents remained contained, and I will never forget the overwhelming joy I felt when I saw my name on KSBN's website, as officially, Rachael Ann Smith, RN for the first time. I cried, I cried a lot of tears, loudly, into a pillow because there may or may not have been neighbors downstairs. And then, I cried some more, meanwhile kicking myself for not only doubting myself, but for having doubt in God, in trusting that no matter what I had or had not accomplished that day, that it would all work out for His good, for His glory.

So let us not forget:
 

'You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.' 1 John 4:4 (NIV)

 

Greater - MercyMe <---listen here

I chose this song, simply because, He is greater. He is greater than you and I, only He is in control of the outcome when it comes to our lives. Don't let the small battles get you caught up, that is just Satan choking you out of doing the Lord's work. You don't bound over 4 hurdles at a time in the 110m hurdle race, no, just one by one. Take each battle, one by one, and you will see the outcome, no matter if it is what you predicted/wanted or not, will be the right one. He is greater than any battle we may face. Pray, try your hardest in all you do, and believe He has your best interest at heart at all times.

100 Miles and a little ADD

My older brother asked me the other day, "Do you just like to drive?"

The answer is, yes. For a couple reasons, some silly, some 'odd,' all honest.

I actually enjoy the road, I enjoy being behind the wheel, I enjoy being in control of the vehicle I am riding in (always would much rather be the driver than the passenger, I don't care how much older than me you are, but if you're reading this Mister Forever, I promise to let you drive sometimes...), I enjoy listening to music, I enjoy dancing, I enjoy my SUV. I like to drive. In 15 months, I put a little over 40,000 miles on my car. So yeah, you could say I like to drive.

Many people think I am weird for preferring to travel alone. But I love it, I love being alone, just me and God. Me and my mess of thoughts. If you think having a conversation with me is rough, the ADD amongst my thoughts is much worse than my verbal ADD. I find encouragement in knowing that no matter what, God gets me. He made me this way, thus, He has to get me. No matter the mess going on in my life, no matter the mess I have let my heart get into, or trouble I got my mind into, He is there, and He always gets me. I never know what I will find along the way from one location to my next destination, but usually it is an adventure. (Also, sometimes a smidgen of road rage, usually worse when I am alone, because I do try to spare my passengers of my full-blown road rage bouts.) But an adventure nonetheless, always an adventure.

Yes, I drive 100 miles to see my best friend for 20 minutes. (This has happened a couple times in fact, and I don't regret it, not even once.) Yes, I would do that every day for 100 days if I needed to and/or if they needed me to. Yes, I would drop what I could to be by your side in your time of need. No, I am not the world's greatest friend at all times, but I hope to be so when you need me to be. Sometimes I am busy, I work many hours, but I do have a huge heart. I weep when you are sad, my heart breaks for your loss and your hard times, and I care. I would drive 100 miles, just to hug you, even if just for a minute. I love, a lot!  So yes, I will do what I can do be there for you when you should need me.

His question arose when I was home one weekend, I came home late late late Saturday morning (4:30am), after heading to my Momma's after getting out of a concert in Wichita around 11:30pm. (Wichita ---> Momma's house = 4 hours 15 minutes + stop in Hays at Wally World for about an hour = home to Momma's at 0430.) Woke around 7:30am, to my Pops making train sounds, (still unsure why this occurred, but apparently he found himself amusing, because this continued for a good 3 minutes). Rolled over on the couch to catch some more zzz's after Dad left the house, then got up about 8am. Hung out with my sisters, Momma, brothers, and nephews the rest of the day, then got ready to leave late that night, with my sister-roomie, at which time my brother asks, "Are you coming to Eli's birthday party?" "Yes, I will be back tomorrow after church." "Do you just like to drive?" "Yes, I do."

(Birthday boy and I!)

This particular Sunday was potluck Sunday, always a treat at any Baptist church, we know how to potluck. It was our month to serve and clean-up, and I had already volunteered to several members that I intended to be there. I love my church family, I have bragged on them time and time again to people who have not attended, because they are so great. We are going through some big changes, and I do not want to miss a single Sunday if I can help it. I want to spend as much time with people I love there that will be leaving before I know it. I want to be there to love on them while I still have time to do so. Church was great, as always, and I was able to love good on some good people.

Life is short, so remember,

------

Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of your life. -Unknown

------- 

With every moment that passes, you have already lost the last; make the most of each that you have.


After church that Sunday, we cleaned up after the potluck, I then headed home to change, and hit the road for Momma's house again, and loved every second of the trip, both ways, alone. 100 miles.  

 

 

Check out this lyric video to Abandon Kansas' song 'Chariot' here! :)

Don't Just Hand a Band-Aid to the Wounded Soul

 

I went to the doctor a week or so ago, because my foot had been hurting for quite some time, (the feet in the picture are not mine, but simply for illustration) and the pain had become straight up unbearable. Before leaving I was told, 'I don't think anything is broken' (I concur) and to take some ibuprofen, apply ice and heat, and call back in 7-10 days if it isn't better.

I do believe I received the right treatment that day, but what if my 3-minute visit was for something more serious that may have went unnoticed because of lack of time spent with me, or concern given? What if she hadn't asked the right questions and I hadn't given the honest answers. I work with said doctor as a nurse on the acute care floor here in the hospital where I am employed, so she is somewhat familiar with me, but that was the first time she had ever seen me on that side of the spectrum, patient to doctor, not the usual nurse to doctor, caring for the same patient. Having that background professionally made me more certain that I would receive the care necessary for my dilemma, because I know what kind of doctor she is and how knowledgeable, but sometimes that is not always the case.

We don't go to the doctor with any intentions of lying, but sometimes information may get skewed. The patient may have already Google-diagnosed and only gives the answers that will result in the way they want their appointment to end and their home instructions to play out. Sometimes we come running to the clinic to be seen for something that we see as major, that may have been going on for a long time, and sometimes we get 2 minutes, a Band-Aid, an antibiotic, and a 'see you later, get well.' --- That upsets us, that upsets our mothers, and it upsets our insurance companies (and our bank accounts) when we have go come running back, this time to the ER because the clinic is closed on weekends, and the 'running back' only happens on weekends, or after midnight you know!) because the first issue wasn't properly addressed and is now more complex, requiring more treatment, and quite possibly hospitalization.

If we don't want to get Band-Aided for our physical health, why should we Band-Aid those around us who are suffering in their spiritual health.

What if that lost soul or broken heart came to church seeking love or friendship, God and answers, but we didn't take a real moment to get to know them? What if they came for months, and you still didn't have the slightest clue to what their story entailed? What if even though you never asked the right questions, slowly they gave you hints and tidbits on what was really going on, and you never picked up on them and never tried to put that puzzle together? What if they already know what's wrong with them, maybe abortion, a miscarriage, maybe a hurting relationship, maybe abuse, a death in the family, maybe total and complete despair, maybe financial issues, maybe health that hasn't been restored even while trusting and giving it completely to Him. We may say hello, we may temporarily bandage them with some artificial and possibly forced love and hugs as they walk in or walk out, but let us not be a Band-Aid society, let us really delve in and get to know the people in our churches on Sundays, Wednesdays, and any other day of the week. Take them to lunch, give them a few extra minutes after the service before you run off with your other 'more important' priorities each week. Embrace their need for the Savior.

Maybe God has allowed this person to hit rock bottom and come into contact with you because He has a plan and He knows you too have a story. No matter what that story of your own entails, if He is a part of it, you can always be there for that person in need, love on them, and pray for their needs whether they be physically, spiritually, &/or emotionally. So what if your past is in ruins and full of mistakes, join the club. So what if you aren't 'perfect', weird, you must be human. God chose you and wants to use you, so let Him!

Do you ever feel like this?

“I try to take it one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.”
                                                                                                – Ashleigh Brilliant

Ain't that the truth. We all experience this at one time or another. We feel as though life is moving too quick, so we try to slow it down, by only committing to one thing here or one thing there, but then your car blows a tire, and then your friend's dog dies, and then your neighbor's mower eats your plant.

Literally, if it is not one thing, it's another.

You get caught up in life, your family wants to know when you are coming home again, your work wants to know if you are going to pick up some extra shifts due to the short staffing, and your poor roommate seems to be the only one taking out the trash (for that you apologize and appreciate).

Your body doesn't seem to be getting the attention it needs and deserves, not enough exercise, not enough watching what you eat, and not enough rest.

And that Bible, the one that hasn't left your car since Sunday? Well yup, your soul needs some TLC too.




Isn't it funny how life can just fly by, how we can be so busy, but the things that matter most, the things that would make life more enjoyable if we tended to them more often, those things are put aside with the thought that we will find more time somewhere to tend to them, and yet we feel bombarded with our crazy schedules.



Committing to less things in life may help, but also make sure that you are committing to things that leave you time for yourself, time to relax, time for Jesus, time for healing, time for sleep, time for taking care of your body, time to cook healthier meals if that is what it takes, time for walks, or the gym. God has let us borrow these bodies while we breathe here on earth, to use for His glory, to better His kingdom. Why not tend for them as He intends, physically, emotionally, and spiritually?

 

 

Breathe ~Jonny Diaz

Field Guide to Heaven

Romans road to salvation

 

The road is marked by a selected group of verses from Romans in the New Testament. If you walk this road, you will hopefully end up understanding how to be saved, and why it is necessary. If you are already saved, then you will have at your fingertips and disposal everything you need to help bring others to a relationship with our Father. This road defines who needs salvation, and why. How God provides us with it, and how we receive it, and the results of doing so. This road is not as long as you think, and it all starts with a single step of faith.

Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;"
Admit that you are a sinner. We are all sinners by nature and by choice. No one is perfect, no not one. And all of us fall short of God's holy standards. So who needs this salvation? Everyone. Why? Because we are sinners, we fall short, we do not deserve, yet if we ask we will receive it.

Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Understand that you deserve death for your sin, and ask God to forgive you for your sin. We receive eternal life as a free gift. Repent and be saved.

Romans 5:8 "But God commendeth His love towards us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
Give your life to God. His love poured out on the cross for you is your only hope to have forgiveness and change. His love bought you out of slavery to sin. His love is what saves you, not religion, not attending church. God loves you. He demonstrated His love for us, His enemies.

Romans 10:9-10 "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation."
We must trust and surrender to Jesus Christ. We must confess it with as mouths as well as believe it in our hearts.

Romans 10:13 "For whoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved."
Call out to God in the name of Jesus. There is our assurance of salvation through Jesus.

If you believe these words put forth by Jesus, pray to Him, tell Him, and then be sure to seek out a Bible-believing church that will nurture and help you grow in your relationship with God in your newfound faith. It is vital for your spiritual health. Be sure to tell someone, let someone know of your exciting news, find someone who is saved to help show you how to jumpstart your growth. Then shout it from the mountaintops, proclaim it to the world, for none are worthy, no not one, but all are in need of this Savior.

Loving You, Just as You Are

Learning to love you, just as you are. The struggle can be real. We read magazines, watch movies, and just live daily in a world filled people that we view as more "perfect" than ourselves.  Her hair is cuter, her legs are longer, her eyes more beautiful, her laugh more contagious. You have to learn to love yourself. To accept your self-perceived "imperfections." Once you love yourself, you can love others. If you cannot find room within your heart to love yourself, then loving others will also be impossible. You are made in God's image, and if you think of anything less than perfection when you think of our Father, our King, the one and only God, then you are just silly. He is perfect, He is the standard of perfection, He is the definition, the creator, and the entire essence of perfection.

Thus, so are you!

I have never been the skinny girl. I was never the girl that had boys just lining up, wanting a minute of my time, a second to talk to me. I never went more than a minute in front of a mirror without criticizing something about my body, my never-been-flat-ever stomach, or the way my pants make me look even more fat, which seemed impossible, and that pesky blemish on my face. Never walked past a skinny girl, and not wished away the extra pounds on my body, just to look  like her. Not that I wasn't active, not that I ate a lot extra, I was a typical teen, I was active in sports all throughout each school year, and loved being outside doing things in the summer.
 

Every girl you ever meet will be able to tell you one thing they don't like about themselves (and every guy for that matter, but my focus is the ladies) . I guarantee, it is only human, but I know even if it is that her feet are too big, arms too flabby, stomach too round, her straight hair, or something sillier, they will have something immediately come to their mind. Thank you world. Thank you for teaching us as young girls, that skinny, blemish-free, and toned are the only beautiful. Thank you for driving young girls to this increased negative self-worth. But you don't have to accept it, don't conform. Take care of yourself, and take time to love yourself. If you need motivation and encouragement. Take a minute, write down the things you love. Even if it is a short list, because you self-criticize so much, write what you love. Write it on your bathroom mirror. "I am beautiful." Write it on a sticky note throw it on your dresser. Set an alarm on your phone, reminding you that God made you just the way you are, and He loves you the way you are, you are EXACTLY what He intended for you to be. Do what you need to do to remember that you are beautifully and wonderfully made by our perfect and amazing heavenly Father.

We don't have to be perfect. We are forgiven and loved. We will fall down, we will make mistakes. No human is without sin, thank you Eve and Adam. We are all guaranteed eternal life when we give up our lives to Him. Whatever happened in your past cannot even come close in comparison to what God has in store for your future. In order to change your future, you have to change your focus. Focus on positivity, focus on the good things, focus on deleting the negative influences in your lives, and even more importantly the negative thoughts. Smile. Today will only be as good as you let it. Make it a great day! And remember, God loves you, because of who God is, not because of how you look or what you did to "deserve" it today, but because God is love.

Ladies, you are loved. You are perfect, and imperfect, because You are a sinner, and forgivable. You are never forgotten. You are precious, wonderful, and needed. Your heart that is crying out for attention, turn those cries into prayers. He will always listen, He will always hold you, He will always be there. You want a guaranteed let-down-free relationship? Lean on Him, love Him, talk to Him, cast your cares upon Him. God will always care.

In John 16:33b Jesus says, "in this world you will have trouble, but take heart, because I have overcome the world." No matter the struggle for improvement, no matter the self-perceived imperfections, no matter the obstacles, Jesus wins, He always wins, and you will always prevail when you lean on Him and His ever-present guidance. Ask Him for help, read His Word. He made you, and there is a great instruction manual to go with you in your walk with Him.

So don't waste another minute looking for imperfections in God's perfection. You are perfect, just the way you are.

Love to all you beauties. -Rach