Eyes that See the Best

 

More often than not society will call a person who tries to see the best in people a 'naïve' person. Why? I think there are many reasons.
 
Maybe they misunderstand 'the best in people'. Maybe they mistaken it as viewing people through rose-tinted glasses.
 
Maybe it is because we cannot relate to people without their flaws being hung out in the air between us. Maybe it is because people that are more flawed than ourselves, make us feel better about ourselves, superior. Those we see as equally flawed as ourselves, may make us feel relieved. And those who portray fewer flaws than us, well they make us feel ashamed. And shame is the last feeling anyone wants to feel.

 
I do my best to see the best in people. I assume that people will do the right thing, make the right choices, stand up for the right causes, simply be the best them.
 
More importantly, I think the key word is 'in'. To see the best IN them. In order to see the best in someone, you still have to see them for what they are, and that may not always mean that the picture will be pretty. But they are who God made them to be.

Recognize that we are all sinners, roaming one planet together, each facing different struggles in different walks of life. No one has lived the exact life you are living, no one has experienced the same things you have. Yes maybe a friend here has went through such and such that you have as well. Maybe your mother or father faced this struggle or that hardship. But no one other person, has faced and survived every single stumbling block or flat road you have. So, you have to assume the same for others. Assume they may not be going through the easiest time in their life, assume they too have struggles, but are just trying to be the best them they can manage at this given time in their life. Assume there are many great qualities in them. These qualities may be shadowed by the current situation, hiding under the surface, bogged down by a recent misfortune. But assume they are there, and do what you can to expose those qualities.
 

I firmly believe that everyone wants to be the best person they can be. Sometimes that is not always an easy thing to achieve. Some people think the effort is worth it, and maintain directing all their energy and work into becoming a better them. Some people get lost. Each person faces their own unique challenges along the way. We all struggle, and often stumble. Sometimes we stumble on each other, sometimes we trample on each other.
 
Some people feel it is 'safer' to maintain a pessimistic view. Why risk having your trust broken when you can just not trust anyone? Much simpler. There are plenty of people in the world that will drain you, emotionally, mentally, financially, etc. Some are just plain dangerous, bad for you, and should be avoided. So no, don't walk around seeing each new person you meet as an angel without a cause. That would be naïve.  
 

 

BUT seeing the best in people doesn't necessarily have to be naïve. It simply means seeing the better side of people, and working with that. People are multi-dimensional beings. For example, an awful husband could be a fantastic father. That annoying friend you have that never shuts up, they may be fantastic as a salesperson. Every strength comes with weakness.
 

So when I tell you I look at people, with the intent of seeing the best in them, I mean it. And I mean that I am making every intention to see people wholly and compassionately. That may not entail being able to block out all their 'bad' characteristics, but it certainly means not choosing to focus on that. Energy spent doing that is energy wasted. Find the good in people, because there is good in everyone, and you will come to realize that you have good within yourself as well.

How does one do that?
 
Firstly, slow down. Take a few moments and be curious about the good qualities in a person. Open your eyes, take off the translucent-colored glasses of negativity bias, and see what the facts really are.
 
See the person's positive intentions. Try to see the good intentions of the people around you. Particularly, sense the longing to be happy in the heart of every person.
 
Acknowledge their abilities. Unseen ripples spread far and wide when we see abilities in others, and acknowledge them openly.
 
See their positive character traits. Unless you are surrounded by sociopaths, everyone you know must possess many virtues. Maybe they have determination, generosity, kindness, patience, energy, honesty, fairness, compassion. Take a moment to observe these traits in others.
 
Recognize that the good you see in others, is also in you. You couldn't see that good if you did not have an inkling of what it was. You have positive intentions, real abilities, and virtues of the mind and heart. Take a moment and let that fact sink in.

 

You don't need a halo to be a truly good person. You are a truly good person.

 

#putyourloveglasseson ~ Beckah Shae

Chain Breaker ~ Zach Williams

Start Over ~ NF ft Flame

O Lord ~ NF

 

 

 

Forgiveness Day 2016

 

Yup, apparently this day exists as a national day. Forgiveness. It's not a touchy subject per se, but sometimes a very challenging one. 

I have blogged about forgiveness a couple times before. It is something I am passionate about dishing out, because far too many times I have been the one seeking it, needing it. 

Everyone on the earth sins. Point blank, we are all sinners. Everyone wrongs someone every now and again. Sometimes intentionally, with complete congnizance of doing so, sometimes completely unintentionally, and quite often somewhere between the 2 extremes.

I can only imagine how much God's heart hurts when His own children are the ones hurting others. 

The greatest example of forgiveness comes to us in John 19. With Jesus willingly giving His life on the cross for wretched people such as myself. So undeserving. Nothing shouts pure and honest forgiveness like letting someone nail your hands to a cross after lugging your own death tree up a hill, letting them smash a crown of thorns onto your head, and letting them whip you until blood is drawn and dripping from all over your torso, arms, and legs.

All the while, knowing You and Your Father above have every right and possess the omnipotence to get Yourself off that cross, to stop it all before it even began. Jesus cried, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" Matthew 27:46b

God the Father, the Son, and the Holy spirit. The Trinity. Three-in-one. But for a moment, God had to turn His face. Imagine the torment it caused Him to see His only Son suffering such pain, and for such undeserving people.

He didn't die on that cross just for me, but He did die on that cross FOR me. He endured unthinkable, unimaginable, excrutuating pain, for me? For this undeserving and disobedient sinner? But, why? 

Some things in life make total and completely clear sense. Attending school, graduating and attending college. Moving out of our parent's homes to blossom on our own. Finding, courting, and marrying your true love. Birthing beautiful children and raising them to love and worship our Lord. But then there are hiccups, if you will, in the road of our life, such as burying a child, losing a parent at a young age, and I liken the confusion of those kinds of events in life to trying to understand God's willingness to offer forgiveness to the likes of us.

It comes as hard to believe, especially for the 'unbeliever,' that a man can die and rise again. Even having been a believer for most of my life, sometimes it still blows my mind. And maybe it isn't event the fact that He died and rose again, on His own will and power, though being a nurse I know that only God could have made that possible. But maybe, it is the fact of His death; the suffering and agony that He endured, all for us. For us, such filthy, sinful, and undeserving creatures that we have become since Eve ate of the forbidden fruit in the garden. Maybe that is what is most awe inspiring to me.

That love. That forgiveness.

'For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.' John 3:16  A widely known and quite possibly one of the most popular verses in the Bible. He SO loved the world that He created, though it had turned into such an evil place full of sinners like me, He loved the lowest of us, SO much, that He sent His Son to suffer and die on a cross, to forgive us of our sins. Sent His Beloved, to pay for sins that we committed. Not Jesus paying for His own sins, for He was perfect, spotless, sinless. Yet He suffered a torturous death, FOR US.

'For by grace are ye saved through faith, and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.' Ephesians 2:8-9 No matter what you have done, or not done (sins), in this life, no matter how much money you give to your church, no matter how many children you adopt, how many highways you clean up, how many lives you have impacted for Christ, no. No matter what, you don't deserve the forgiveness God offers, but that is what makes it so overwhelmingly awesome, and thus should make us all the more thankful for receiving it without even having to earn it. So dish it out, even when it seems the offender doesn't 'deserve' it, because neither do we. God commands us to forgive in Matthew 18:21-22, where Peter is asking how many times he should forgive his brother for sinning against him, and Jesus replies, not just 7 times, but 7x70 times. Over and over again we should be forgiving those that sin against us.

 

So take what you have done into consideration in your daily life. If you were to add up all your sins, does the cluster even compare to the wrong that has been done unto you? If Jesus was willing to love you enough to die on a cross for your cluster of sins, does forgiving the wrongdoer seem so hard now? Forgiving is loving. Show Christ's love in every way possible everyday. We are not here to hold grudges, but to love and show Christ to those that don't believe. So forgive others, believers and unbelievers alike, we all need to see and feel Christ's love through the actions and words of Christians around us.

'Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ forgave you.' Ephesians 4:32

7x70 Times ~ Chris August                       Waterfall ~ Chris Tomlin

Mended ~ Matthew West

Forgiveness

There are some things none of us can completely control; one of them is protecting our hearts every single moment of every day. We can try with all our might, all day and all night, but we can't control the way other people make us feel.  

I attended a concert the other night (a wonderful concert might I add.) It featured I Am They, Hawk Nelson, and Tenth Avenue North. (All bands I would recommend Youtube-ing if you have a couple minutes, as they have some great songs.) As the concert was winding down, Tenth Avenue North was on the stage, and their lead singer, Mike (Mike Mike Mike), was speaking an intro to one of their songs, that happens to be one of my favorites of theirs, called 'Losing'. As I am listening to his words, and then the song lyrics, listening, really hearing them, I feel my emotions start rolling down my cheeks. And then later in the show, they sang their song titled 'By Your Side' which attained the same effect. Life hasn't been all cherry blossoms and sunshine this past year, but the heavy weight that sits on my shoulder, eating away at my mind every wake second of every day, well it lingered that night as well, it was constantly at the forefront of my mind. But, as I really heard the words, as I thought about all that I have been through, all that I put myself through in the last 12 months, I felt.

I felt sadness. I felt peace. I felt hope. I felt forgiveness.

I don't know what forgiveness means to you. I don't know what you have done to need forgiving, I don't know what other people have done to you that required forgiveness. I only know what I myself have done. And most likely, just like you I could write a list an encyclopedia long about what others have done to me that I have had to forgive. That list is much easier to write than the most likely equally lengthy list of those instances in which I was the one doing wrong by others.

No one lives life believing they are innocent at all times. But I do believe that most people, most of the time, are just doing the best they can. I believe that no one intends to hurt someone they love, but somehow they do. Maybe they hurt that person once unintentionally, maybe it happened again. Maybe 20 times. At some point, what may not have seemed intentional was now intentional, as it had become motivated. Motivated by whatever you were getting in return for continuing in said sin. Maybe you don't mean to hurt, maybe you don't want to hurt them at all, but you can't get past the sin you are caught up in, and the rewards being thrown at you by Satan as you continue to do what he wants you to, what he has convinced you that you want to do.

Whether that person I wronged has forgiven me or not, that is not important, not for my sake. What is important, is have I forgiven myself? I am so quick to point out every single moment that I am wronged by someone else, moments that I need apologies for, but yet turned a blind eye to the moments where I myself was the one in the wrong. And then, when the reality of the wrongness was thrown in my face, I became a mess. I couldn't bring myself to let forgiveness wash over me, because I couldn't forgive myself.


Back to the concert. God made it known to me, in that moment, that no matter what I had told myself, no matter what that person that I had wronged had told me, no matter how many times I had apologized to that person, He had forgiven me, and I had yet to forgive myself, to totally forgive. I will never forget, but that doesn't mean that I have to live day by day continuously beating myself down every time I got up out of bed. It was a vicious cycle, and the only reason my heart and mind even attained rest, was because I slept, and even then, only because I don't dream. For weeks I reminded myself of what I had done. Then at some point, it no longer mattered what I had done, but rather the hurt I had impeded on people that I loved. 

The burden never lightened, just when I thought it might, the seemingly impossible would happen: some bitterness would gather, making the burden I bore heavier. I increasingly felt the need for forgiveness, but that whole time I felt that I needed it from the person(s) I wronged. I felt I needed that person to confront me, to tell me I was forgiven.

I just knew that if those words were spoken to me, no matter the circumstances that came along with the forgiveness, everything would be better. I just knew my biggest problem in life at the moment would have suddenly been solved.

In church we speak a lot of how Christians are to forgive, as Christ does. It is spoke of as a moral obligation, like the only natural, reasonable, and "Christian" response to being hurt. So when I don't feel like forgiving, does that make me not a Christian, no. It definitely is not the Christian thing to do, to maintain the pent-up resent, when instead we need to dissolve the grudge(s) we have against each other. We, as Christians speak of forgiveness as something that happens and we move on. This doesn't necessarily mean to go on in life, having forgotten what others have done, but rather to chalk each moment of hurt up to life's lessons, as we show grace upon that person, forgive, and go on in life. We talk about forgiveness, like it is an event, just a moment in life, but it's just not. One thing that has helped me through the day today, is to say "I'm forgiving you," rather than, "I forgive you." Because forgiveness is something I have to give myself over and over again, and with repetition, I hope it will become a habit, and I hope it will get easier over time. Because being able to forgive myself habitually, will make forgiving others easier.

While I was standing there, indulging in the lyrics of the worship songs I had heard and sung numerous times, I felt. Like a raging river the tears and regret flowed, the grace and love I am not sure I deserve rushed over me, and at the same time I felt forgiveness come rushing in. It did not make what I had done okay, but it made me mollified.

I was able, in that moment, to forgive myself.

Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting, but it also doesn't mean brutally battling myself over what I had done in the past. Not overlooking what you have done, but rather learning from your mistake is crucial, especially when it is yourself you need to forgive. 'Forgive and forget' is easier said than done, because not only is it impossible, but forgetting could potentially be dangerous for ourselves. Sometimes the most forgiving thing we can do, for ourselves and the person who has hurt us, is to say, 'thank you for what you have taught me about myself and about life. I'm moving on.' I don't think that true forgiveness happens without justice, honesty, boundaries, space, distance, and time also occurring. And while you ensure that all of these happen concurrently, also ensure that you don't make yourself feel guilty about it. It is not a rejection of the other person, but rather a thorough acceptance of yourself. 

True forgiveness takes place when we look honestly at the ways in which we have been hurt, hand our anger over to Jesus, and let it rest with Him.

If you take only one thing from this post, make it this:

Learn to forgive yourself; until you attain self forgiveness, you will never be able to fully forgive others, as Christ has called us to do.

Philippians 4:7  'The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.'

Ephesians 4:32  'Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.'

By Your Side - Tenth Avenue North            Losing - Tenth Avenue North

It Is Well With My Soul - Audrey Assad

Making it Legal doesn't make it Sinless

Same-sex marriage, since I was a child I have known this was a definite no-no in the eyes of God. Unfortunately we live in a nation full of people who don't choose to turn to the One who gives them their very breath. Being attracted to someone of the same sex just is not natural. God does not place that longing in us, regardless of what we convince ourselves to believe. Way back in Genesis 2:24 is where marriage is first introduced to us by God in the Bible, this verse states, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (KJV)
--First thing I take from this is that a man is to "leave" their parents, this I believe is signified in the ceremony of the public commitment of the two to each other.
--Secondly that the man is to "cleave" to his wife(female), to show tender affection and faithful commitment in a permanent relationship of growing love
--Thirdly that they are to "be one flesh" in physical union, noting the most exclusive and deepest intimacy.
--Finally, did we note that this was one man, and one woman? One of each, only one, and both of opposite sex.
Furthermore in Leviticus 18:22, God clearly states, "Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind: it is an abomination." or in Leviticus 20:13 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."

Now one could argue that we are no longer bound by the laws in the Old Testament. When Jesus paid the ultimate price for our sinful nature on the cross, he put an end to the Old Testament law. In Romans 10:4 it says, "For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to every one that believeth." And again in Galatians 3:23-25 it states "But before faith came, we were kept under the law, shut up unto the faith which should afterwards be revealed. Wherefore the law was our schoolmaster to brung us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith. But after that faith is come, we are no longer under a schoolmaster." He put us instead under the law of Christ. In Galatians 6:2 it says "Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." which is to... "(Jesus said unto them) Thou shalt love the Lord they God with all they heart, and with all they soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." Matthew 22:37-39 KJV. By obeying both of these commands, we will do all that is required of us by Jesus. In order to do both of these, we should automatically be falling within the context of many of the commandments, for many of them fall within the realm of loving God and loving thy neighbor. In Galatians 5:14 He states, "For all the law is fulfilled in one word even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself."

But in Mark (New Testament) it says this again, reinstating the commandments found in the Old Testament, in Mark 10:6-9 "But form the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain but one flesh."

And in Romans 13:8-10 "Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Though shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. Love worketh no ill to his neighbor: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law."

We believers are not here to judge, God tells us again and again in the Bible not to do so, but rather to love. To live in a manner that edifies and builds up others, that promotes harmony.  God has a plan for humanity, and his intentions for marriage and sexuality are clear. One man and one woman, married. But instead of sitting here and condemning homosexual people, I will instead share God's loving warning, and try and show His grace for them who have strayed from His will for marriage.

In James 4:12 it states, "There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judges another?" Saying that we are not put on earth to judge others, but to enlighten them on God's plan, to show them God's love, and to leave the judging for the only One who's judgment matters.

Hebrews 13:1-5 "Let brotherly love continue. be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Remember them that are in bonds, as bound with them; and them which suffer adversity, as being yourselves also in the body. Marriage is honorable in all, and then bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee nor forsake thee."

In John 8:7-11 "So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground. And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the women standing in the midst. When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee; go, and sin no more." Jesus is a forgiving man, he paid the ultimate price for each and every single one of us weak humans on this earth.

Romans 1:26-28 "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient." This is what our nation needs, turn to God and be forgiven. Seek Him, and repent.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be no deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, now thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God." No matter what we do, God leaves the freedom of choice up to us. Those that choose to follow Him, His commandments, His will, they will be granted the kingdom of heaven, those that opt out, well your choice, but you are missing out on the greatest of all gifts.


Case in point, I am not saying that their sin is acceptable, or that this law being passed makes their actions okay in God's eyes, but rather that we are commanded to love one another. We can hate the sin, but love the sinner with God's love. Pray for them, pray that they will turn and seek God's face and that this nation will seek His will and strive to keep His commandments. God's forgiveness, mercy, and grace are always available to those that want them.



*all Bible verses quoted in this blog are pulled from the King James Version of the Bible

How to Love like God loves us!

All throughout the world, you will find people. People who show their love outwardly for all to see. People who don't make a point of showing theirs off, and yet it is so clearly evident in their everyday lives, whether to their spouse, their parents, their children, etc.


10 Ways to Love

1. LISTEN without interrupting. (Proverbs 18)

I sit at home, with a zillion "great" stories running through my mind. I have limited amount of people to entertain with these in my life.  Often when I try to tell stories, or talk about my day with these few people, I am hardly lent one ear, let alone full attention.  I find this so incredibly hurtful, that I make a daily point to ensure that my eyes are on the person talking to me, and sometimes, with my horrible memory, I even make a point of repeating what I think is important throughout the conversation back to myself in my head. 

I want to live, loving others. I want them to know and feel that love, and I believe it can just start to begin with listening, whether it's "real-talk time," or simply just visiting and fellowshipping together. Sometimes we get distracted with our own lives, and things going through our own heads, but when surrounded by people we need to love (so, any and everyone), we should start with some attention. 

2. SPEAK without accusing. (James 1:19)

I find myself guilty of this often, though I try so hard to make it happen less often. When someone has hurt me, whether intentionally or not, it brings out the worst in me. Even when I don't show it outwardly, or through unkind words out of my mouth, I think the thoughts, and that is just the beginning of a bad habit. SO I make a point of trying to clear my mind of negative thoughts, and if it is impossible, I make a point of just going to this person that I have let cause these thoughts and feelings, and talk it out! 

3. GIVE without sparing. (Proverbs 21:26)

I have this sister, she is not loaded, but she is always making a huge point of blessing others with things she makes room in her heart to give to others. She works hard for her money, and the smiles she receives for such blessing, I can only imagine is the biggest blessing of all to herself. We were taught as young children to tithe 10% to God of everything we earn, if only I could say I have honestly done that my entire life. But even more than giving to the church, to God, I think in my life, I will make a point of making sure the loved ones around me have the things they need, and that strangers are clothed and fed, and those less fortunate or unemployed are having their needs met. 

4. PRAY without ceasing. (Colossians 1:9)

I start my day with prayer, I pray for my family and friends, my day. I pray that God will help me bless Him with all my might each day. I leave for work a half hour early, and drive around Ulysses and pray for friends, my pastor, my church, my job, my patients. I make a point of starting my day out with as much prayer as possible, so that I can be in the habit of always thinking about God and knowing that He is always willing and ready to listen. God wants us to speak to Him daily, He wants to know us, He wants us to know Him. He made us, so how could He not want to hear us out. Pray as often as you can, and sooner than you know it, you will be praying all the time. And it is so refreshing. Indulge!

5. ANSWER without arguing. (Proverbs 17:1)

There is not a person in this life that I have not at some point disagreed with. There are things worth debating over, and things not worth it. Instead of always taking the defensive side, we need to hear them out, listen intently, decide where we stand on the topic of conversation, and have an adult conversation about it. This is always easier said than done, until you make it a habit! Habits can be damaging to relationships, and can also be amazing and help the relationship grow! 

6. SHARE without pretending. (Ephesians 4:15)

This goes for emotions, LOVE, time, things that really matter. This can also pertain to tangible things, but when it comes to loving others. God wants us to be honest, and forthright with ourselves. He gave Himself completely to us, and gave us His only son! Can you imagine, how huge His heart has to be? Like unimaginably ginormous! We can only wish to attain a trillionth of the size, by sharing ourselves with others without facades. If you can't be real with them, then your relationship will be meaningless and empty. 

7. ENJOY without complaint. (Philippians 2:14)

No one has a great day everyday! There is always something that happens that can turn a great day around in a snap. There can also be little things that happen that make a rough day amazing in an instant.  There was a time in my life when I wasn't even half as positive as I find myself these days. Having just graduated in May, school was sometimes a stressor in my life, so I lost a stressor. But I can even remember back to high school, usually I was happy, but not all the time. I was s typical high school student, I did not tend to make the drama, but I let myself hear it and want to hear it and be in the “know.” Now, I have made a habit of not being curious when it does not pertain to me, or is not kind, I tend to make a habit of being positive now! “Bad” things happen to everyone, but how we react to it, how we deal with it, that will affect our attitude about it! I just tend to know that God has a plan and a reason. I know those are not always obvious, especially when we just had our world rocked with bad news, or just got dumped, or are in the process of losing a great friend or mentor. Right off the bat, it is just human nature to go to a negative place in our minds, to see only the worst of our situations. But I make a point, the instant that my brain goes to negative-land, to pray, then seek out the positives! To know that God wants me to do this, so let us make the best of it and see where He leads it!  See the little blessings that He puts in your everyday, make a point of thanking Him for them, and I guarantee you will be happier! Don’t let Satan get a hold of you and your mind. You are an overcomer, connected to the Almighty God, He is able to turn around any situation in a heartbeat, let Him be in control, give it to Him, over and over again, until there is nothing left to give!

8. TRUST without wavering. (Corinthians 13:7)

God put Adam and Eve here on this Earth, as perfect humans, no shame, no regret, no worries, plenty of food. And then they disobeyed God, and now there are such things. Shame, dishonesty, disobedience, hate, etc. We all have suffered from one or all of the previous things before, we all also have been the ones to be shameful and lie, disobey our elders, and at some point hate someone. In order to love, we must trust. We must trust that the person on the other side of the relationship is working to benefit the relationship as well. We must trust each other, trust in what we say and what we say we will do. In order to trust others, we must also be true to our word and trustworthy, because when we are constantly being unworthy of others' trust, we will always doubt them, believing they also are unworthy, doubting their word, doubting their promises. But God wants us to put all trust in Him, to believe that He is in control and He will do all that He can to help us love others, and help our relationships grow. 

9. FORGIVE without punishment. (Colossians 3:13)

God sent His son, to die for us, for our sins. That is the biggest sacrifice anyone in this life has and will ever make. He watched His very own son die, bleed out on a cross, for us, for people that are constantly disobeying Him, and breaking His commandments. I do no have children, but I could never in a million years have the courage to do that for people that I knew would just be constantly ignoring my rules that I put forth before them. People will constantly be doing things, whether intentionally or on accident that are not pleasing to us, that may hurt us, physically, emotionally, mentally, etc. We must learn to forgive. When our partners or friends do something that we think is the end of the world, we need to step back, see it from their perspective, give them another chance, let them know how we feel, and that we forgive them. Don't keep it in, but again don't let little things affect you enough that they distract you from things that really need attention and really matter. Seek to always please God and to be the better person in the relationship. Help each other grow in Christ, pray with the other, anything that will help heal the wounds and get past the speed bump Satan threw in the road for you. 

10. PROMISE without forgetting. (Proverbs 13:12)

In order to love, and love successfully, we must always be true to our word, to our promises.  We must follow through, with even the little things. If we promise to love each other everyday, we must do so. When you truly try and love other people, it may be a struggle sometimes, a daily struggle. Fight the fight, it will always be worth it. The love you will receive in return, will be overwhelmingly greater and bountiful than the road blocks you went through to get there.  The Lord wants for our relationships to be successful and a blessing to both sides of the relationship! Anything worth your time is worth the fight to earn and retain! In order for love to be there, love must be given! Love one another, love your neighbor as yourself, love your enemies. Pray pray pray for everyone who ever comes to mind! Pray on the spot! They may need it just when God throws them on your mind! 

(NOTE TO SELF:  Pay close attention to #1, #2, #5 and #9.)