Eyes that See the Best

 

More often than not society will call a person who tries to see the best in people a 'naïve' person. Why? I think there are many reasons.
 
Maybe they misunderstand 'the best in people'. Maybe they mistaken it as viewing people through rose-tinted glasses.
 
Maybe it is because we cannot relate to people without their flaws being hung out in the air between us. Maybe it is because people that are more flawed than ourselves, make us feel better about ourselves, superior. Those we see as equally flawed as ourselves, may make us feel relieved. And those who portray fewer flaws than us, well they make us feel ashamed. And shame is the last feeling anyone wants to feel.

 
I do my best to see the best in people. I assume that people will do the right thing, make the right choices, stand up for the right causes, simply be the best them.
 
More importantly, I think the key word is 'in'. To see the best IN them. In order to see the best in someone, you still have to see them for what they are, and that may not always mean that the picture will be pretty. But they are who God made them to be.

Recognize that we are all sinners, roaming one planet together, each facing different struggles in different walks of life. No one has lived the exact life you are living, no one has experienced the same things you have. Yes maybe a friend here has went through such and such that you have as well. Maybe your mother or father faced this struggle or that hardship. But no one other person, has faced and survived every single stumbling block or flat road you have. So, you have to assume the same for others. Assume they may not be going through the easiest time in their life, assume they too have struggles, but are just trying to be the best them they can manage at this given time in their life. Assume there are many great qualities in them. These qualities may be shadowed by the current situation, hiding under the surface, bogged down by a recent misfortune. But assume they are there, and do what you can to expose those qualities.
 

I firmly believe that everyone wants to be the best person they can be. Sometimes that is not always an easy thing to achieve. Some people think the effort is worth it, and maintain directing all their energy and work into becoming a better them. Some people get lost. Each person faces their own unique challenges along the way. We all struggle, and often stumble. Sometimes we stumble on each other, sometimes we trample on each other.
 
Some people feel it is 'safer' to maintain a pessimistic view. Why risk having your trust broken when you can just not trust anyone? Much simpler. There are plenty of people in the world that will drain you, emotionally, mentally, financially, etc. Some are just plain dangerous, bad for you, and should be avoided. So no, don't walk around seeing each new person you meet as an angel without a cause. That would be naïve.  
 

 

BUT seeing the best in people doesn't necessarily have to be naïve. It simply means seeing the better side of people, and working with that. People are multi-dimensional beings. For example, an awful husband could be a fantastic father. That annoying friend you have that never shuts up, they may be fantastic as a salesperson. Every strength comes with weakness.
 

So when I tell you I look at people, with the intent of seeing the best in them, I mean it. And I mean that I am making every intention to see people wholly and compassionately. That may not entail being able to block out all their 'bad' characteristics, but it certainly means not choosing to focus on that. Energy spent doing that is energy wasted. Find the good in people, because there is good in everyone, and you will come to realize that you have good within yourself as well.

How does one do that?
 
Firstly, slow down. Take a few moments and be curious about the good qualities in a person. Open your eyes, take off the translucent-colored glasses of negativity bias, and see what the facts really are.
 
See the person's positive intentions. Try to see the good intentions of the people around you. Particularly, sense the longing to be happy in the heart of every person.
 
Acknowledge their abilities. Unseen ripples spread far and wide when we see abilities in others, and acknowledge them openly.
 
See their positive character traits. Unless you are surrounded by sociopaths, everyone you know must possess many virtues. Maybe they have determination, generosity, kindness, patience, energy, honesty, fairness, compassion. Take a moment to observe these traits in others.
 
Recognize that the good you see in others, is also in you. You couldn't see that good if you did not have an inkling of what it was. You have positive intentions, real abilities, and virtues of the mind and heart. Take a moment and let that fact sink in.

 

You don't need a halo to be a truly good person. You are a truly good person.

 

#putyourloveglasseson ~ Beckah Shae

Chain Breaker ~ Zach Williams

Start Over ~ NF ft Flame

O Lord ~ NF

 

 

 

God, and Sex Before Marriage

1 Corinthians 6:18 "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body."


I read a story once, written by a great Christian woman, who was given some advice from a pastor in her life. His advice to her was:

He said, “It’s not about how far you can go, it’s about how close you can get.”
That’s really the question we’re asking. Right? How far can I go? What am I allowed to touch, what is he allowed to do, how far can we go before we’ve crossed 'the line'?

But instead of thinking about it that way, her pastor challenged her to ask herself:

“What can I do to get as close to God as possible? What decision can we make that brings our relationship as close to God and His very best design for this as possible?”

After reading her story, and his advice, my perspective changed completely. No longer was it about following the rules, just pushing against them enough to keep from breaking them. It wasn't about checking the correct boxes, so as to avoid making God mad. God isn't going to strike us down or spite us if we have sex before we are married. That is not who God is.

No, it isn't about living just to avoid breaking rules anymore. It is about a relationship. It is about tearing down the guilt, shame, and sin that makes us distance ourselves from God. When we sin, God doesn't leave us, He doesn't go anywhere. But when we sin, what do we do? We hide. (Or at least try.) When we follow what He says in this area, we are keeping ourselves from putting walls between us and God. The decision is about trusting the Creator of sex, and marriage, and love and us, when He says love is at its very best when we handle things this way.

I know that I want the very best love life, the very best marriage, and the very best sex life possible when my time comes. And if God --- the Creator of all of those things --- says this is the way to get the absolute most out of it, then I want to take Him up on it!

So, if getting the most out of my marriage, love life, and sex life after marriage is the motivation behind waiting to have sex now, then in regards to all of the intimate things we can do leading up to sex, there are two questions I think we need to ask ourselves:

1) What brings me closest to God?
2) What makes me feel like I am setting myself, and our relationship, up to get the absolute most out of it --- taking God up on all the blessings He has in store for us?

And I think you can answer those questions pretty easily, if you’re honest with yourself.

If you’re honest, after you and your boyfriend do ______ (fill in the blank), how do you feel? Do you feel ashamed? Like you’ve failed? Like you’ve increased the distance between you and God now? That’s a good indication that you might need to re-think things, make a different decision.

Maybe you weren't raised a Christian, maybe you were. Maybe you weren't told early in life that having sex before you were married was something you shouldn't do. Maybe reading this, is the first time you have even heard word of it. But let me tell you, God has a better idea for love, and sex, and marriage, and He really wants you to take Him up on it.

I decided several years ago that I wasn’t going to do anything other than kiss until I was married. So far, I have successfully held to that decision.

Now — I’m not saying you need to draw the exact same line. Again — this is a personal decision.

But the reason I draw the line there, is because I know that intimacy is intimacy. And I feel like I would be trying to cheat the system by doing other things that were pretty much having sex — maybe not technically, but really, really close.

And I don’t want to cheat the system. I want to actually do things the way I really think God is saying to do them. And for me, I have decided that means saving intimacy of all kinds until I am married.

So — I know how tough this is. You are absolutely not alone in this. Waiting is a struggle for everyone. And it’s a good thing that it is! You don’t want to marry someone you have zero chemistry with! That chemistry will pay off at some point.

But in the meantime, do everything you can to get as close to God as possible, to take advantage of every blessing He has in store for you in this area of your life.



Matthew 5:27-30 (NIV) ''27 You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery. ²⁸ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. ²⁹ If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. ³⁰ And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."

James 1:13-15 (NLT) "13 And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. ¹⁴ Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. ¹⁵ These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death." 

  

Here are the not-so-random song links I post with each blog, enjoy! :)

Guard Your Heart ~ 1 Girl Nation

Through Your Eyes ~ Britt Nicole
Undeniable ~ TobyMac
Show Me ~ Beckah Shae

Sunrises and Sin

 

I sat out early one morning, breeze blowing through my hair. It was serene; completely and utterly peaceful. Had the porch light on, but beyond it's halo, was complete darkness. Anything could have been lurking in those shadows and I would have never known unless it stepped into the glow of the light.

Then, as the sun slowly rose, all the unseen was made visible. 

That is how we are when we meet people. When we let them in, we begin to expose those things hidden beyond the light. As Christians, we shouldn't be opposed to letting others in, sometimes exposing ourselves is all it would take to light a spark in their curiosity about Jesus and His works in your life. I will admit, it takes an awful long time for me to let another person know 'all about me.' If you have been (un)fortunate enough to qualify, then know, then, now, and forever, you mean the world to me.

 

When we ask God into our hearts He already knows. He can see into all the nooks, crannies, cobwebs, and closed boxes. Nothing is beyond what He knows. Nothing can be hidden. When we acknowledge our need for Him and ask Him in, we sign a consent letting Him know we know He sees it all, past, present, and future. And when we read the fine print, it says we will do all we can to serve Him, please Him, and live to better His kingdom.

So let us expose ourselves, to the saved and unsaved alike. Let us show them, that God's grace is limitless, His mercy unending. Let us show them that we are not better than them, we have just been washed clean by the blood of Christ. My blog title stems from that mindset, because I am just a sinner, saved by grace. Saved by the blood He shed for us upon that cross. Washed clean by His grace, so that we all may meet Him one day in heaven. Let us be transparent. It is okay not to be okay. It is okay to show them you have hurts and wounds, okay to show them your past. What better way to better expose the new you than to show them how far you have come with Jesus in your heart and life?

 

 

Thy Will ~ Hillary Scott

The Stand ~ Britt Nicole

Steady Me ~ Hollyn

Finish What He Started ~ MercyMe

He Knows ~ Jeremy Camp