Never Too Far Gone

Have you ever done something so bad, so wrong, that you wondered and certainly doubted that God could ever have possibly loved you through it, and especially doubted the existence of His love for you afterward?

If you said yes, well I feel you. Me too.

Thankfully we serve an amazing God who is able to love us through it all.

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When I moved to Ulysses America back in 2014, I just knew God had great plans for me.

Before moving down here, I established a wonderful friendship. A friendship that almost had endless possibilities. A friendship I knew was appointed from God Himself. This encouraged me even more that this was going to be a great adventure to unfold down here in Southwest Kansas.

I tended to that friendship tediously. It bloomed and blossomed, and flourished with such liveliness I couldn't even believe it myself.

Meanwhile, my other friends, and family even, fell to the back burner.

Church was a huge priority, and I made sure it stayed that way. God always being my focus.

Until He wasn't anymore.

Until there were more important things than church, more important things than family sometimes.

Sleep. Hanging out. Walking the streets of our city. Etc.

I was happy, oh trust me, I thought I was happy. I truly was. Very very happy. Our pastor spoke this morning in church, about how happiness is based on happenings. Everything that was happening with me, to me, and around me? They all were quite perfect and right, I thought at the time. I was happy, very happy.

Until I wasn't.

No one was to blame for my loss of that happiness more than myself.

In fact, some people tried to influence the regress of smiles. But their efforts were without yield. I was in a slump. I had lost what I thought was one of the most important people in the world at the time.

Suddenly I was walking a LOT more. I mean, 10-15 miles a night, every single night I was off.

Suddenly, I found myself wondering what this God that I thought I loved and served so well could possibly want with me still. How He could keep this frail and unstable wanderer under His wing and close eye. How He could possibly still care for a stray like me. How He could possibly still have a home built just for me in Heaven.



Let me tell you these thoughts, and my current situations, cascaded into a whole whirlwind of mood swings, total confusion, bad eating habits, an awful lot of wear and tear on what used to be some pretty good sneakers.

Throughout it all, I certainly doubted God. I doubted that He could still love me. But looking back now, He showed me, proved to me, sometimes more than once in a given day, that He still cared for me, that He still wanted me, that I still mattered to Him.

So when you feel like you might have done something so incredibly awful and wrong and sinful, something you just know had to had driven God away from you, turned His face from you and your life, your heart. Just remember this.

That is the devil talking.

Satan wants nothing more than for you to doubt our great God and His love for you. He wants nothing more than you to get distracted, to look away, to turn from God, because He would not turn from you, the devil knows that. But if the devil can get you to look away for just a second, then he believes he has won a mini battle, and maybe he did, maybe you let him, maybe you stopped fighting, stopped believing in the purpose for why you were created.

He won with me. I sunk deeper and deeper into sin, until it seemed okay. It seemed fine enough. It didn't bother me as much anymore, I didn't hear the voices as often in my head, the ones that discouraged my interaction with this sin. They faded. I let the devil win that battle.

But my God has already won the war.

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No matter what I have done, He is here with me. He wants me. He wants YOU. He wants you to know that. He is fighting your battles for you, battles you don't even know are happening. He is fighting for you. Because He loves you.



He is with us all along, He never leaves us.



:)

Music is an amazing tool God has created for us, to bring glory to Him, to worship Him. In church, in the car, at home. These are some songs that came to mind while writing this blog. God brings music to me, in just the right time, with just the right words, to reel in my mind, to return my focus to Him, to praise Him for everything in my life. To bring Him the glory. To thank Him for the struggle and the failures, as well as the victories and easy days. Because no matter what I go through, He has a plan, He has a purpose, for every tear of joy and every tear of sorrow.

So have a listen, because some of these are pretttttty great! Enjoy their gifts from God!

Never Too Far Gone ~ Jodan Feliz

How Can It Be ~ Lauren Daigle
Battles ~ the Afters
Beloved ~ Jordan Feliz
Let Go ~ Flame
I'll Keep On ~ NF
Hold On ~ TobyMac
Salt & Light ~ Lauren Daigle

Thank you for stopping by. I leave you with this...

God has a plan for you. Don't think for a second that He doesn't. You are important to Him. Whatever battle you are facing, whatever you are going through, it is just preparing you for the victory ahead. Keep your head up, your eyes fixed on Christ. Love you all. 💙

Pray fervently. Live passionately. Love everybody. 

Eyes that See the Best

 

More often than not society will call a person who tries to see the best in people a 'naïve' person. Why? I think there are many reasons.
 
Maybe they misunderstand 'the best in people'. Maybe they mistaken it as viewing people through rose-tinted glasses.
 
Maybe it is because we cannot relate to people without their flaws being hung out in the air between us. Maybe it is because people that are more flawed than ourselves, make us feel better about ourselves, superior. Those we see as equally flawed as ourselves, may make us feel relieved. And those who portray fewer flaws than us, well they make us feel ashamed. And shame is the last feeling anyone wants to feel.

 
I do my best to see the best in people. I assume that people will do the right thing, make the right choices, stand up for the right causes, simply be the best them.
 
More importantly, I think the key word is 'in'. To see the best IN them. In order to see the best in someone, you still have to see them for what they are, and that may not always mean that the picture will be pretty. But they are who God made them to be.

Recognize that we are all sinners, roaming one planet together, each facing different struggles in different walks of life. No one has lived the exact life you are living, no one has experienced the same things you have. Yes maybe a friend here has went through such and such that you have as well. Maybe your mother or father faced this struggle or that hardship. But no one other person, has faced and survived every single stumbling block or flat road you have. So, you have to assume the same for others. Assume they may not be going through the easiest time in their life, assume they too have struggles, but are just trying to be the best them they can manage at this given time in their life. Assume there are many great qualities in them. These qualities may be shadowed by the current situation, hiding under the surface, bogged down by a recent misfortune. But assume they are there, and do what you can to expose those qualities.
 

I firmly believe that everyone wants to be the best person they can be. Sometimes that is not always an easy thing to achieve. Some people think the effort is worth it, and maintain directing all their energy and work into becoming a better them. Some people get lost. Each person faces their own unique challenges along the way. We all struggle, and often stumble. Sometimes we stumble on each other, sometimes we trample on each other.
 
Some people feel it is 'safer' to maintain a pessimistic view. Why risk having your trust broken when you can just not trust anyone? Much simpler. There are plenty of people in the world that will drain you, emotionally, mentally, financially, etc. Some are just plain dangerous, bad for you, and should be avoided. So no, don't walk around seeing each new person you meet as an angel without a cause. That would be naïve.  
 

 

BUT seeing the best in people doesn't necessarily have to be naïve. It simply means seeing the better side of people, and working with that. People are multi-dimensional beings. For example, an awful husband could be a fantastic father. That annoying friend you have that never shuts up, they may be fantastic as a salesperson. Every strength comes with weakness.
 

So when I tell you I look at people, with the intent of seeing the best in them, I mean it. And I mean that I am making every intention to see people wholly and compassionately. That may not entail being able to block out all their 'bad' characteristics, but it certainly means not choosing to focus on that. Energy spent doing that is energy wasted. Find the good in people, because there is good in everyone, and you will come to realize that you have good within yourself as well.

How does one do that?
 
Firstly, slow down. Take a few moments and be curious about the good qualities in a person. Open your eyes, take off the translucent-colored glasses of negativity bias, and see what the facts really are.
 
See the person's positive intentions. Try to see the good intentions of the people around you. Particularly, sense the longing to be happy in the heart of every person.
 
Acknowledge their abilities. Unseen ripples spread far and wide when we see abilities in others, and acknowledge them openly.
 
See their positive character traits. Unless you are surrounded by sociopaths, everyone you know must possess many virtues. Maybe they have determination, generosity, kindness, patience, energy, honesty, fairness, compassion. Take a moment to observe these traits in others.
 
Recognize that the good you see in others, is also in you. You couldn't see that good if you did not have an inkling of what it was. You have positive intentions, real abilities, and virtues of the mind and heart. Take a moment and let that fact sink in.

 

You don't need a halo to be a truly good person. You are a truly good person.

 

#putyourloveglasseson ~ Beckah Shae

Chain Breaker ~ Zach Williams

Start Over ~ NF ft Flame

O Lord ~ NF

 

 

 

God, and Sex Before Marriage

1 Corinthians 6:18 "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body."


I read a story once, written by a great Christian woman, who was given some advice from a pastor in her life. His advice to her was:

He said, “It’s not about how far you can go, it’s about how close you can get.”
That’s really the question we’re asking. Right? How far can I go? What am I allowed to touch, what is he allowed to do, how far can we go before we’ve crossed 'the line'?

But instead of thinking about it that way, her pastor challenged her to ask herself:

“What can I do to get as close to God as possible? What decision can we make that brings our relationship as close to God and His very best design for this as possible?”

After reading her story, and his advice, my perspective changed completely. No longer was it about following the rules, just pushing against them enough to keep from breaking them. It wasn't about checking the correct boxes, so as to avoid making God mad. God isn't going to strike us down or spite us if we have sex before we are married. That is not who God is.

No, it isn't about living just to avoid breaking rules anymore. It is about a relationship. It is about tearing down the guilt, shame, and sin that makes us distance ourselves from God. When we sin, God doesn't leave us, He doesn't go anywhere. But when we sin, what do we do? We hide. (Or at least try.) When we follow what He says in this area, we are keeping ourselves from putting walls between us and God. The decision is about trusting the Creator of sex, and marriage, and love and us, when He says love is at its very best when we handle things this way.

I know that I want the very best love life, the very best marriage, and the very best sex life possible when my time comes. And if God --- the Creator of all of those things --- says this is the way to get the absolute most out of it, then I want to take Him up on it!

So, if getting the most out of my marriage, love life, and sex life after marriage is the motivation behind waiting to have sex now, then in regards to all of the intimate things we can do leading up to sex, there are two questions I think we need to ask ourselves:

1) What brings me closest to God?
2) What makes me feel like I am setting myself, and our relationship, up to get the absolute most out of it --- taking God up on all the blessings He has in store for us?

And I think you can answer those questions pretty easily, if you’re honest with yourself.

If you’re honest, after you and your boyfriend do ______ (fill in the blank), how do you feel? Do you feel ashamed? Like you’ve failed? Like you’ve increased the distance between you and God now? That’s a good indication that you might need to re-think things, make a different decision.

Maybe you weren't raised a Christian, maybe you were. Maybe you weren't told early in life that having sex before you were married was something you shouldn't do. Maybe reading this, is the first time you have even heard word of it. But let me tell you, God has a better idea for love, and sex, and marriage, and He really wants you to take Him up on it.

I decided several years ago that I wasn’t going to do anything other than kiss until I was married. So far, I have successfully held to that decision.

Now — I’m not saying you need to draw the exact same line. Again — this is a personal decision.

But the reason I draw the line there, is because I know that intimacy is intimacy. And I feel like I would be trying to cheat the system by doing other things that were pretty much having sex — maybe not technically, but really, really close.

And I don’t want to cheat the system. I want to actually do things the way I really think God is saying to do them. And for me, I have decided that means saving intimacy of all kinds until I am married.

So — I know how tough this is. You are absolutely not alone in this. Waiting is a struggle for everyone. And it’s a good thing that it is! You don’t want to marry someone you have zero chemistry with! That chemistry will pay off at some point.

But in the meantime, do everything you can to get as close to God as possible, to take advantage of every blessing He has in store for you in this area of your life.



Matthew 5:27-30 (NIV) ''27 You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery. ²⁸ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. ²⁹ If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. ³⁰ And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."

James 1:13-15 (NLT) "13 And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. ¹⁴ Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. ¹⁵ These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death." 

  

Here are the not-so-random song links I post with each blog, enjoy! :)

Guard Your Heart ~ 1 Girl Nation

Through Your Eyes ~ Britt Nicole
Undeniable ~ TobyMac
Show Me ~ Beckah Shae

Dear China, Thanks for Stealing my Pastor

'Stealing.' Maybe that was a bit harsh. But just let the record show that that is an honest reflection of my attitude when I first heard about their future endeavors to that far away place, initially of course.

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July 10th, 2016 was the last Sunday that our previous Senior pastor and his wife attended our church prior to leaving for China.

When this adventure was still in the works, when I was first made aware of it being quite a possibility, God willing, I had quite mixed feelings. Here is why.

1) I am selfish.

2) I was in awe.

3) Still in awe.

4) I was so incredibly excited for them and their future plans, this big, crazy, exciting step, that I couldn't even possibly think of anything more perfect for their next step in their lives together. (And obviously God agrees, as all has worked out so well thus far!) 

5) But still, I was selfish.


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Let's start at the beginning though, the first day I heard about 

this exciting new adventure in their life:

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March 13th, 2016
I remember that Sunday as if it were yesterday! Sunday school finished, and Marcia and Sarah were having a conversation about someone working for her in the nursery. I followed Sarah back there and told her after I ran the powerpoint for worship, I would be right down and replace her. She said something to the effect of, 'no, that's okay.' But of course I did it anyway! I love kids y'all, and would do it every single Sunday. 

As Pastor Steve began to close his sermon, I notice that Sarah gets real quiet, stands up close to the speaker to hear better, and then I overhear, "I am resigning as senior pastor...." I tell her, "Get out. Go out there." She is already in tears and I am about to be.  I couldn't make myself believe it to be true. My friend, wife, and their daughters were going to be moving at the end of the month. And now this news is thrown at me?? (see, selfish.) And by me, I mean, our church body, as a whole. No one was singled out. I am 99% sure I cried about it the very moment I learned about it. I was in the nursery, snuggling with some precious girls when what I thought to be a weird dream registered and started to return to reality. As that occurred, I just hugged those girls closer.

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I cried about it again when Pastor Steve spoke about it a couple Sundays before his last here as senior pastor. 
I teared up, every time someone at work or the grocery store asked me about it.
And again on July 10th, their last Sunday.
Ooops, yup. Yet again at their going away party. (Also July 10th).

Okay, you get it. I am an emotional wreck and a big cry baby.

I didn't cry because they were going to China. I didn't even cry because they were leaving. 
I cried because they wouldn't be here anymore. (There is a difference, I promise, but again, selfish reasons.) I cried thinking of the empty spot in the sanctuary, wondering who God would send our way. Knowing that no matter who was sent our way, that was who was supposed to be here, but still knowing they had some big shoes to fill. (No offense Pastor Steve.) Let's just say, the bar of expectation has been set pretttttty high.

But, on the reals. I am so excited for them. I know God has had His hand in all of the events leading up to this decision, and will continue to guide them on this exciting new adventure halfway across the world! I wrote a letter, to both of them (and then a short one to their whole family), things that I wanted to, and need to say to you, but you're gone now. So you get to be victims of one of my open letters, sorry not sorry.

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First, a message to Pastor Steve: 

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Pastor Steve,

You have been nothing but light in my life here in Ulysses. From the times I came to church with Susanna and Jonathan before I actually moved down here, until you left; you never made me feel anything less than welcome. You know how to make a person smile. I rarely saw you without one, and that alone helps raise spirits and form smiles in others around you, but on top of that you are a genuinely kind and God-serving man.

On numerous occasions you complimented me. About anything, my singing, my smile, my attitude, whatever it was that day, you found something. And, like you, I always sort of brushed it off. I am definitely never going to win an award for 'greatest at accepting compliments.' On your last Sunday, as I was hugging you for the 30th time at your going away party, you again told me in my ear, 'You are so awesome.' You know some of (what I consider to be) my darkest 'secrets.' Being a pastor kind of opens a door to a lot of people's darkest times in their lives. And you knew mine, at least the gist of it/them. And yet, you never once seemed to be 'judgy', or disproving. You always, always, always greeted me with open arms and a smile. And simply loved. You always show love wherever you go.



I also genuinely appreciate the many Sunday mornings when I would come early for prayer with you and our equally dedicated Pastor Bob. Every single Sunday you prayed for marriages, for keeping the marriage bed holy, etc. And almost every single Sunday, you also prayed for the singles in our church. (Me!) You prayed that God would bring a partner alongside, or if we were 'called to be single' that we would live for Him either way. You don't know this, but every single time you prayed for us 'singles' I wept. Every time. I struggle so much with trying to let go of past mistakes and lingering regrets, as well as find a happy medium between where and when to put myself out there and when to hold back a little, like maybe if I put a little more effort into it, I can rush God's revealing of the spouse He has planned for me. I struggle daily, with the fact that here I am still single and 25. I tell everyone I am old, because some days it feels that way. I sometimes get stuck in the lull that consists of sleeping, working, eating, and repeat. 

Sundays, especially with you, your wife, and daughter, always made for a great break from the 'lull.' And though they now will not consist of seeing you all every Sunday, and even though I work at least half of the Sundays each month, I still see it as a day of refuge, recharging, regenerating joy, and a day to be reminded of all that Christ did for me. 

Everything about you, even the Moses hair (LOL!) has been a great example of Jesus' love to me, this church, and our community. I say yes, even the 'Moses hair' because even with that, you have shown us that sometimes we do the things we do because of the love we have for those that love us. And if you can glorify God, by loving your wife and the fact that she loves your beard, then so be it, that is just perfect. Having attended the 'send-off' party for y'all, seeing how many other churches' pastors attended, and other people in the community, really opened my eyes even more to the oneness that you have liked about this community and it's churches.



Initially, when I heard y'all were leaving...it was seriously like, uh, the end of the world. At least my Ulysses world, as I knew it. I will miss your great attitude, and your incredibly vast knowledge of God's Word. I am beyond excited though, for your travels and experiences to and in China. As the days are crossed off the calendar, I can imagine you are more and more excited! You are awesome!

Praying for you always.

You are deeply missed already,
Rachael Ann

P.S. I apologize for calling it a 'man bun.'


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Now, for a message to his better half and perfect compliment:

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Dear sweet sweet Marcia,

In my mind, always the pastor's wife. But also, always the sister with whom I enjoyed several morning prayer coffees with. The sister who was not afraid to pipe up in Sunday school, about whatever topic we were addressing and learning about at the time. The sister who was always smiling. You are never afraid to be honest though. Sometimes while hugging you, I would ask how you were doing. Sometimes I got, 'great!' 'good!' etc. Sometimes you replied with, 'okay.' And that, though saddened my heart for you in that moment, gave me hope always. You are such a happy woman, with a joyous spirit, but even the happiest of people have 'okay' days too.

You have brought me so much joy, on numerous occasions. Your quirky sense of humor, brings nothing but smiles to anyone around experiencing it first hand. It is a perfect mix with the more serious, though less seen side of Marcia. But I love both sides. So keep em both around for sure. Your joy and loving manner are my favorite of all of your amazing qualities.

I did not get to spend as much time outside of Sunday mornings with you and your family as I would have liked to (thanks adulthood), but the times I did were always such a blessing. The numerous trips to Downtown, (which is closed now, super sad.) the times you guys would have us over for lunch, or cards, or whatever. Sunday night Bible studies, and the time I stopped by AWANA. But my most favorite memories, are from morning prayer coffee with you gals. And I am so sad that I was unable to attend the last several before y'all left. I loved hearing about how Steve did the laundry, or dishes, or made you breakfast, or coffee, and on the cold mornings, started your car for you. I loved hearing you talk about your spouse, and see your love for him shine in your eyes. 

I also remember before I really got to know you, camping at Meade Lake with you, Sarah, and Steve ( or as you sometimes refer to him as: Swannie). That was the first non-church event that I had ever attended with y'all. I remember walking over to the restrooms with these near strangers, and feeling just as welcome as if we were truly sisters. Thank you for that. That is one of the first, and one of my favorite memories with you! 

I have heard that being a Pastor's wife has it's challenges. No one can deny that. You maintain the part well. You are an amazing wife to Pastor Steve. You both compliment each other so insanely well. I could not imagine a better-matched couple. God knew what He was doing when He brought your two lives into intersection. It will be hard to picture life here at FBC without you. You have a way of bringing a smile to literally every face in the building. Life will be a little weirder without you than with you. But for as well as you played the part of 'pastor's wife', I am excited for you to delve into being God's daughter, Steve's wife, Caleb and Sarah's mom, and all your other titles, with some needed relief from your role as 'Pastor's Wife.' Though you never complained, and showed no sign of the burden, I know it was there. You are a smart woman, and being a student will continue to look just as good on you now as it did when you were 'the pastor's wife.'

If I can ever get a Tuesday night off, and am able to return to Wednesday morning prayer coffee with our sisters in Christ, I know it will be a different experience without you. Not better, not worse, just different. Your uplifting spirit will be missed! I have seen your contagious joy affect many people around me, always positively. I am excited for you to be able to share it with many others as you travel to China, and especially after you arrive. Can't wait to hear the stories of new friends, crazy adventures, and touched hearts. 

Praying for you always.

Love you so, and miss you already,
Rachael Ann

P.S. You are a rockstar Marcia!

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Like I said, I am selfish. Sometimes when hugging and visiting with Pastor Steve and Marcia each Sunday, I had to force some excitement for their plans out. Not always was it genuine. My second favorite family in Ulysses was going to pack up their life and move elsewhere. I have survived. It has only been a couple weeks. I have only been in church one Sunday since they started their adventure around the US to see family and friends before going to China. (I have only been once because I was on vacay in Michigan, [which I will blog about soon!] not because of a ripple effect of their leaving, causing me also to leave.) That one Sunday was just two days ago in fact, and it went well. We were also missing our worship leader, so as one could imagine, getting sound figured out (when the 2 people that ran it in the past were missing) was an adventure. One that we conquered like champs, might I add!

Anyway. Though life without Steve and Marcia is going to be different, and sometimes we get stuck in a comfortable rut and never want change, I am equally excited for what this change will bring the church, and what this change in their lives will bring for them. Ruts ain't good for anybody.

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So to Pastor Steve and his delightful and loving family,

I miss you. I don't hate China. I am so glad Gad has worked out everything thus far with your pre-adventuring. I love you all so much. Thank you for your impact while you were here, and for the impact you will continue to make, even though we will be continents and states apart. 

Could not thank you all enough for your impact in my life with 100 blog posts, but thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Praying for you always!

Forever missing the Spam Fam, and the Spam Fam van as well,
Rachael Ann

P.S. Where does that van reside now anyway?

   

'Tell me, what is it you plan to do with 

your one wild and precious life?' 

-poet Mary Oliver 


Don't forget to check out these not-so-random music video links I include with each blog post! 

I Will Follow ~ Chris Tomlin             10,000 Reasons ~ Matt Redman

Overwhelmed ~ Big Daddy Weave 

Father's Day

Heavenly Father

True fatherhood is grounded in the basis of God's being---in the basis of God the Father relating to the Son and the Spirit. Human fatherhood is but an imperfect symbol of this transcendent reality. The Fatherhood of God is not inconsequential of alterable, for it is the primary basis by which God has determined that believers will relate to Him: 'I will receive you, and will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord God Almighty.' 2 Corinthians 6:17-18
 
God reveals Himself as 'Father' throughout the Old Testament of the Bible. (Jeremiah 3:19). This was also a term Jesus used when addressing Him (John 17)
 


Earthly fathers
Fathers in the Bible were supreme authoritative figures in their families. With just a word, they could determine the fate of their offspring. But they were also encouraged to be patient (Ephesians 6:4), to love unconditionally, to forgive without strings attached, and to give abundantly. (Luke 15:11-32)
 
Fathers have unique access to their children's hearts. Their tender love and intentional leadership can build confidence and instill character like nothing else. On the other hand, harsh words and emotional distance can devastate even the most resilient kiddos.
 
Scriptures present a tender side of fatherhood: 
In Matthew, a temple official came to Jesus frantic for his daughter's healing. (Matthew 9:18-26)
 
In Genesis and 2 Samuel, Jacob and David display deep sorrow at the loss of their sons. (Genesis 37:33-35 2 Samuel 13:35-39)
 
In Genesis and Matthew, Noah and Joseph (Jesus' earthly father) followed God's direction and provided escapes from danger for their children. (Genesis 7:5, Matthew 2:13-23) 
 
But fathers in the Bible weren't perfect; they made their mistakes:  
In 1 Samuel we see where Eli did not set limits for his sons. (1 Samuel 2:12 & 3:13)
 
In 2 Samuel we see that David doesn't make time to spend much with his children, and how he certainly did not live an exemplary life before them. (2 Samuel 12:13,14 & 24:10)

 

Mother's impact on fathers
A mother helps to fashion a good father. She makes him feel loved and accepted, treating him with respect. she shows respect for his position of leadership. She does not undermine his authority, she offers encouragement, reflective interaction, and supportive interest.
 
Reminders for fathers, found in the Bible
1) It is important to make your child(ren) feel wanted (Psalm 127:3-5)
 
2) You are to instruct your child(ren) (Deuteronomy 6:1-9, Proverbs 4:1 & 6:20)
 
3) Train your child(ren) (Psalm 78:5-7, Proverbs 22:6)
 
4) Correct your child(ren) (Proverbs 13:24)
 
The shelter and security provided by a godly father should give their children freedom for growth without overprotection from challenges or tasks that teach responsibility. (1 Samuel 3:1-10)
  
I do believe that the most immediate and potentially impactful way a father can love his child(ren) is by loving their mother well. Children are always watching, listening, and feeling the way their mothers are loved by their fathers. They hear how their father speaks about their mother when she isn't around. They learn how their father respects their mother by observing it directly---even when they don't think their children are watching. They see how their father loves their mother when she is hurting, after they've had an argument, and when they laugh together. They see their father give himself up for their mother, sacrificing their agendas to better serve her more selflessly. (Ephesians 5:25-27)



My father 
If you know me on a personal level, and have for at least a moderate amount of time, then you have probably come into contact with my father at some point in our relationship. He is a humble guy. A guy who sometimes will let you know exactly what he thinks about your wardrobe choices for the day. (Unless it's  me, then it is ALWAYS, he always lets me know how he feels about my wardrobe choices, even if it is to a woman at church who happens to be a good friend of mine with a huge heart, and is also married to a doctor that I work alongside with quite often at work.) In family pictures, you are guaranteed that someone will receive bunny ears from Pops, and if no one will allot him the pleasure, then he will just throw 'em up behind his own head, it's 'tradition,' just ask him!



Sometimes he calls me 20 times in 1 day. Sometimes he wishes I would just 'go back to Ulysses' when he decides he has had enough of my company. He sometimes gets mad, and usually is a total control freak. He wants the pickup moved, just so, and probably secretly wishes that the cows would walk in a certain order while we are moving them from pasture to pasture. But let me tell ya, he loves; he loves unconditionally. After all the heck that I have given him growing up, (and even more so now that I am out of the house), I am glad that we don't even have to say out loud that I am his favorite daughter. (Parents you shouldn't have favorites, so all kidding aside, I do not condone favoritism amongst your offspring.)

Don't worry, I was spanked as much, (if not more than) the rest of my siblings. Well, with disregard to the last two, because I am pretty sure they have only been beat like twice in all of their lives. Younger siblings these days, am I right?
 
Back in December, if you have followed my blog at that time, you read about the moment where for just a second, I thought my earthly father may possibly not be with us any longer. If you didn't, you can read about it in my blog Nothing is Beyond the Reach of God's Hands and read about his hospital stay/updates/progress in reverse chronological order Pop's Hospital Adventures.
 
I am glad to announce he is doing much better. He has taken some necessary to be removed weight off, and is usually following his medication and diet regimen that was ordered by his doctor, but sometimes he does get a bit slacky in that department.
 
I was reading in Ephesians the other day, and it was extremely fitting for fathers:
"See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess, but be filled with the Spirit; speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." Ephesians 5:16-21

The best earthly father is one who has a vibrant fellowship and always strengthening relationship with the heavenly Father and therefor has access to the Lord's unlimited wisdom and vast resources. I love to see how my Pops shows God's love to strangers and family alike. He is such an inspiration and I am beyond blessed to claim him as my father.

To Dads worldwide

No one has the perfect father, therefor no one is the perfect father. You may think you have/had the worst father in the entire planet, but I promise you didn't. And even if he was as awful as you make him sound like, who cares. He is who he is and you cannot change that. But what you can do, is strive daily to be a better husband, better father, and better son of God. You can do you better when Jesus is in your heart. Encourage your children, build them up, teach them about the love of Jesus. Put it in action as you instruct them about it. Discipline your children in love. In case you missed it, mostly your children need love. Love them with all your heart as often as you get the opportunity to do so.

Good Good Father ~ Chris Tomlin             Just the Way I Am ~ Big Daddy Weave

Through My Father's Eyes ~ Holly Starr

Birthday Blessings

Today marks the 25th year of my existence on this earth. 

 

Many things have happened in the past year, some good, some great, some horrible, awful, heart-wrenching, and faith testing. Some things I could control, both good and bad, and some were out of my hands.

 

I watched many people suffer in the hospital, cared for some elderly until they gave their last breath.

I was able to give my time as a member of a Nurse's Honor Guard for a funeral of a dearly loved patient, which was beyond an honor.

<--- (Fun pic to tickle your funny bone!)

I went on a couple dates with a couple men in our area, and then they quit talking to me. It amazes me! Everyone all around me tells me I am just perfect wife material, girlfriend material, yada yada yada. Let's just say, this chica is not convinced!

I held a dead baby in my arms, a beautiful baby that didn't respond to our code blue procedures. A baby that God knew He needed in heaven before we here on earth were ready to let the baby go. After which I was numb. I walked out of the ER, back upstairs, just couldn't talk, couldn't cry, couldn't hardly convince my lungs to keep breathing, (praise God that that is my parasympathetic nervous system's job to control). I finished with report to the next shift, woke my sister, walked outside, and immediately texted my best friend. I drove to Johnson, numb. Somehow was able to give my sister a glimpse of the horror I had just experienced. Not for sympathy, but so she would know why I was acting the way I was. Why talkative, joyful Rachael wasn't saying a word or smiling. 

And it gets worse. I thought that was a bad day, but no. An even worse day happened that month, I broke a friend's heart. I seriously hurt someone that I love. Nothing feels worse than that. Even holding a lifeless baby in my arms doesn't come close to the pain I have felt since that day, just knowing the pain I caused her. 

Then we had a big scare with my Dad...it scared me, but again, for some reason when it comes to my own family members and loved ones being sick or hurt, it tends to not worry me as much. Maybe it is because I know God is on our side. I don't know. I remember the same feeling when my boss told me back in 2008, that the ambulance was at my house, tending to my little brother who wrecked his bike. I remember thinking oh my goodness, and then just as quickly, "it's just a bike wreck,' he'll be fine, I just knew everything would be okay. Apparently that time wasn't lesson enough, because when I was told the news this time, (again, at work!!!) it had pretty much the same effect. I was worried instantly, but then calmed, and prayed, and knew everything would be okay. 

 

Today started out at work (just about midnight) with writing a letter to an Officer's family whose EOW was 5/22/16. Then I watched some hilarious videos with a co-worker. Then getting a happy birthday from a sweet patient that is stuck in the hospital while I get to leave for the day. I left work early to give my brother (whom I haven't seen since he moved into my house about a week ago) a ride to his truck. He works all day and I work all night. I came home to an empty sink, because my sister-roomie washed all the dishes as I left for work last night. I came home to a clean house, because my best friend picked up and vacuumed before she and my favorite nephews ended their stay here and took off for Winona. I came home to a cool house and a stocked pantry, because God has blessed me with these things. I baked a cake, made some brownies, then hit the hay, hard!

I didn't realize how exhausted I truly was until my head hit the pillow, then it was just zZzZzzZzz's from then until 4:30pm. I got up at 4:35pm, rolled out of my comfy bed, hopped in the shower (almost literally), and got dressed for work. Did the dishes from the morning, a load of laundry, sat around a little, then threw all the goodies in my car for work and hopped in the car headed to the ice cream shop.

By the way, if you are ever in the Armpit of America, KS, you should check that place out. (---> Here's their address and hours!) Until a couple nights ago I had only had their Mexican ice cream, which is absolutely delightful. Then the other day the mother of the man who owns the shop brought some delish frozen treats on a stick, that I cannot pronounce or spell (paleta con fresa possibly), and that, that was ah-mazing. Anywho, you should check it out!  

 

 

I slept, all day. (8 hours y'all!) Woke to many texts, snaps (you can see one of my favorite snaps of the day above), Facebook msgs & posts, and a couple missed phone calls.

 

I was called many names today. Rachael was one of them, odd I know.

 

Also:

 

Awesome, Kid, Rachy, Beautiful, Crrrazy, Dear, Loving 'Auntie', 'other' Daughter, Friend, Woman, Joyful Girl, Fun, Love, Ray of Sunshine, Rachael!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (+ or - a few !!!!!s), Rach, Missy, Dear Friend, Fabulous, Rayray, Weird, Odd, Energetic, Ball of Fun, Caring, 'Amazzz balls' person, & Ray-ray... to name a few. 

 

I woke realizing how many people that matter in my life actually might reciprocate my feelings for them. 

 

 

I woke wishing my little brother was here to celebrate with me, but knowing he is in a much better place, too consumed by God's awesomeness to peek down at this girl on her birthday or even pass a thought my way. And yes, for a moment, I forced all cares for what God has planned for me here on earth for the short time I get to be here aside, and allowed myself to be straight-up jealous of Simon. Jealous of his being in heaven, safe from this cruel, hateful, wicked world, but at the same time overly joyed that he is.

Then I remembered that I woke up. Had I not, I would be in a much better place right now, the best place ever, for the most bomb birthday party ever, but I woke up today. 

I woke up. 

I woke up today, because God is not done with me yet. 

I woke up today, because there are things in God's agenda that He wants me to help complete. 

I woke up today, because my patients need me. I woke up today, because I need my patients. 

I woke up today, so that my co-worker's could do their best to get their 25 spankings in before midnight. (I doubt they quit when my birthday is actually over...I can safely assume this will go all night, they haven't got very far yet.)

I woke up today so that others can know I have seen and felt the love they have shown me.

 

I woke up today to serve others.

I woke up today because God allowed me to wake up today.

 

I woke up today to serve Him.

 

 

I woke up, got ready for work. Grabbed some deliciousness from the Mexican ice cream shop on the way, along with some weird combo of chips, cabbage, cheese and hot sauce that a coworker ordered. Me being superwoman denied needing help to my car with the goods. Then I get to work, swipe my key fob-thingy-majigger, and boom. Dropped the weird combo of papas that was ordered...all over outside the door. Super. Fail. I just yell, then laugh, kick the mess off the sidewalk, then meander in to work. I then sit down for report and spill a co-worker's water all over the table. Fast forward 2 hours, and I sit down for my birthday supper celebration-meal at work, and somehow fling rice all over the table and a coworker. Let's just say, this day hasn't actually been 'my' day.

 

But that's okay, because it's the Lord's day anyway.

 

For my birthday celebration-meal a co-worker brought chicken quesadillas from Alejandro's restaurant here in town, can you say Mom-delish!? Nommmmmmmmnom. Another brought some great homemade rice. And sugar cookies from yet another co-worker. (Pictured with me at the beginning of this post!) Then yet another co-worker came up to work on her night off and blessed me with some delicious, hilarious, perfect gifts. (See pic below!) What a blessed little lady I am!  

 

As I entered my 25th year, I thought back to the past year of my life. I started with seeing, knowing, and acknowledging how very blessed I truly am. I celebrated the birth of my 4th nephew and the birth of my best friend's daughter. I celebrated birthdays of my other 3 nephews, as well as my 3 nieces. Celebrated the birthday of each of my 7 siblings and my parents. I was able to make the trip to New York to see very loved and very missed family and friends, memories I will treasure the rest of my sweet time here on earth. I was able to purchase my first home (so much adulting going on over here) <---(this computer thinks adulting is not a word and keeps changing it to adulating... I am just over here like, 'You don't know my life Windows!!'). I have made new friends. I have been able to keep in touch with old ones.

 

 

I just want to say thank you to all who have impacted my life this past year, whether positively (mostly) or negatively. I have learned something from all of you. Thank you to those who choose to put up with me (friends) and I apologize now to those of you that have to put up with me (family and co-workers). You all mean the world to me. I appreciate your many wishes on this quarter-of-a-century birthday of mine. :) 

As my day comes to a close, I simply remember this: 

 

1) I am loved.

 

 

2) I got 99 problems, but knowing where I am headed after I die ain't one of 'em.

 

 

3) He's got the whole world in His hands.

 

 

'Rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me ---practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.' ~Ephesians 4:4-9

 

 

Don't forget to check out the not-so-random Youtube videos I always post at the end of my blogs! I love music y'all!

 

Through All of It ~ Colton Dixon

Trust in You ~ Lauren Daigle

Great is Our God ~ Plumb
Who Am I ~ Casting Crowns

 

Thanks for reading, and God bless you!