A Letter to my Best Forever Friend

Dear Sweet Friend,

You have been my best friend, for the longest. I cannot remember a time when you weren't! All throughout our school years, especially high school, we were so crazy, and had sooooooo many incredible laughing moments! So much crying, which only comes from the best laughs.

You probably felt, especially a couple years ago, that you may not have ranked number one any longer. I feel like sometimes, you may have felt like you were replaced. But you weren't.

You have always been my #1.

You have birthed some of the greatest joys in my life. And you still look amazing. You may not weigh 100 pounds anymore, which is good (because you are healthier), and you are still one hot mom.

You have an amazing life. Your husband isn't perfect, and sometimes makes you cry, sometimes makes you mad, sometimes makes you want to rip out every single strand of hair on your head. But I know you love him, and I know he loves you. And I know you make each other laugh, and among all the tests that have come to your relationship, you have more than prevailed.

You are a beautiful girl. You are strong. You are a determined woman. You are determined to give your children the best life they can have. You are satisfied. You don't quit trying to make yourself a better person, a better Christian, a better woman, a better Mom. But, you are satisfied. You don't need all the diamonds and new cars in this life, a bigger house, the newest phone, a big screen tv. You make do with what you have.

 

You are a bomb cook. I don't think you have made a meal that I haven't liked. I may not be a huge fan of homemade brownies, or guacamole, but I will still eat them (the brownies anyway). They are brownies...what (mostly) sane person wouldn't?

You are kind. You are always so nice to me, and have a great heart. You see needs in others, and do what you can to meet them. You have a heart that is concerned for people. I love that about you. I love that you instill these traits in your kiddos as well.

I have been through quite a lot in my 25 years. Some things I brought upon myself, others I had no control over. But through all of them, God was there, even though sometime it didn't feel like it. And also, through each one, whether right by my side or on the other side of the telephone, there you were too. There may even be things in my life that were going on, and you didn't even know it, but just by being you, you made it better. So thank you.

We may not agree on everything, but we certainly don't fight. You're stupid. You fail. You're not perfect. You're weird. I am like that TOO, so we are a perfect match! We laugh at the randomest things. You are like my human diary, so many secrets spilt to your always open ears. When I am sad, there you are. When I am happy, you are who I want to tell! You know some (if not all) of my ugliest secrets. You've seen me at my lowest. If there was such a thing as laughing too much, you would be the drug in my life that caused that symptom. You've seen me cry. You've walked into my house and made it your own, as well as have let me do the same in yours, numerous times!  I would be okay with you writing my biography, because you know more 'Rachael' facts than anyone else in the world (seriously though, probably more than my own Mom!). No matter what, throughout this life, you have been the consistent person by my side.

When my brother died, you were there.
When I wrecked my car, (9 years ago today) which could have easily been the end of your life, you still let me come hang out with you.
When I found out you were dating my brother, you gave me time to get used to the idea.
When I graduated from high school, you were right there, probably sitting with my family.
When I left for college, we kept in touch, and I would hang out with you whenever I could when I was home.
When you got pregnant, you didn't let me know as soon as I would have liked. And instead of understanding that you may have been going through a lot of things, obviously physically, and for sure emotionally, I got all butt hurt about it. For that I apologize. And I wouldn't trade that young one for a box full of diamonds.
When I graduated from college, you were there, with my family (which was also your family by this point, though we adopted you ages ago!).

Simply put...

You. Are. There.

I want you to know that I pray for you. I pray for your marriage. I pray for your kids. I pray for your heart, for patience, for time for yourself. I pray that you make it through each day at least as sane as you woke up. I pray that you would be able to find time in your crazy days to read God's Word. To pray. To talk to Him, cast your cares on Him. I pray that your relationship with Him would deepen and blossom even more than it has.

I hope I don't take advantage of you. I hope I reciprocate some of these great qualities back to you. I know I am not as great a friend as you are, but I am working on it. You are a blessing I cannot imagine my life sans. Thank you.

I want you to know, because I don't tell you enough, that I love you. I love you so much.
I appreciate you. You are beautiful. You are wanted. You are needed. You are the best mom your kids could ever have been blessed with. And you, you are my bestest friend in the whole world.

Most of all I appreciate that you accept me as me. I appreciate that we can be together for days, or apart for days, and nothing changes. You're the BEST!

Stay sweet,
Rachy

P.S. Please come stay at my house whenever you want. Because you are ALWAYS welcome!

My best friend's name is Heather, and I am the rude one.

Best frand and I :) Love you long time Delilah!

 

 

And some songs, dedicated to you bestie!! <3

Beautiful ~ MercyMe

Grateful ~ Rita Ora

Lean On Me ~ Bill Withers
The List ~ Matthew West

What Goes Down...

What goes up must come down is the more popular phrase, but let me tell ya, the reciprocal is what was relevant to me, as I found myself 3.5 miles deep into the Grand Canyon, the reality of having to go back up hit me like a two-ton brick.

Now let me first say, that this was a fantastic trip. I regret nothing about it. I was able to take with me one of my best friends, whom I may or may not have been able to survive without, good thing I didn't have to try to. And since returning from the trip, many of the comments I have made and stories I have told have not been the most positive, because I had let the one negative day/hours overcast on all the great times and experiences we had there!

The trip started out about 8pm for myself. Kayla and I had both worked the night before, and wanted to get some good sleep before heading out the next morning. But since we both worked nights, and each had obtained a little bit of rest (3 hours for me!) that day, we decided we would probably be up all night anyway (thank you screwed up circadian rhythm) so we set out that evening. The drive was a hair over 12 hours straight through. We stopped for gas a couple times, restroom breaks, but mostly made the drive pretty promptly, arriving in the wee hours of the morning in Arizona. Check-in at the campground wasn't until noon, so we found ourselves with some time to kill.

1st stop-Mather point We drove around until we found a visitor's station, and went in and checked out some options for the day. We had planned to just chill out, eat, relax, etc the first day there. And chill we did, the weather was quite brisk the entire time we were there. We made our way out to Mather point (a 5-minute walk from the visitor's center) and here we caught our first glimpse of the amazing handiwork of God. It was beautiful. Huge. Windy. Awesome. I paused for a moment, let the brisk air rush across my face, and tried with all my might to see where the canyon started and ended, but with all the twists and turns, and the length of it, that was impossible. It was so gorgeous. A light haze on the horizon, where the climates seemed to switch up. We spent a good 20 minutes here. We posed for pictures, took pictures for a couple other people out at the point, then gathered our things, and meandered down a paved path to the next 'point' of interest on the South Rim.
We continued in this manner, as we walked along the rim, for several hours. Stopping at a couple museums on the way. We then made our way to the shuttle bus (free y'all, free shuttles!) that took us back to the visitor's center. Then we made our way over to the café, ate supper, and drove back to the campground to check in and set up our campsite.



Setting up the tent was a chilly adventure (my 2nd time with the new tent, the first being the test run I did in my living room days before leaving for the Canyon.), but we were successful. We threw out some firewood, but then decided we were exhausted and needed a nap (it was about 4pm at this time.) I had very minimal cell service (let's be honest, I had no service), so I enjoyed the time away from my electronic device. It truly was a break. Unfortunately, this weekend happened to be my best friend's birthday, sister's birthday, and the only time my friend in the Marines had service to call/talk to me (time zones away), so I missed out on some very important things while there, but I lived, and they all did as well. With each text, I never knew if they were going to go through or not, so just hoped for the best, and if they weren't important then I simply just didn't even attempt.

Our 'nap' sesh, turned into a sleep all night until the next morning thing. Saturday morning rolls around. Throughout the prior day Kayla had awaited a confirmation call from the tour guide company that was to be giving us a tour hike the following day, and when one never came through, she called them to confirm. They discussed if we would rather see some sights, or hike down the canyon, or both, and what our food preferences were. Kayla and I woke Saturday morning all stoked for this hike. We packed our backpacks, and awaited the arrival of Josh, our guide. When we signed up for this hiking tour, we had to fill out information saying what level of hikers we were, what level of hike we were interested in, how long, etc. We certainly said low levels, though we are active, running on the treadmill, lifting weights, and working out on the elliptical are all quite different than hiking a canyon, so we played the safe card, and probably undersold ourselves. But that apparently was irrelevant. We were pushed to our max, in fact, I was pushed beyond mine.



Word of advice, if you want to experience the Canyon in all of it's glory and beauty from way down in it, and have a desire to hike, and are somewhat good at it, then absolutely, feel free to hike it. It is amazing, and I wouldn't take back the hike if I could. BUT, it is challenging. Some of the terrain is easier than others. We completed our hike on the Grandview trail. We started out, and it was fantastic. We got about a mile down and ended up having to shed some layers as the sun came out, and the wind ceased. Now Kayla and I work out, we go to the gym, in fact at this point I had been going twice a day, in hopes to at least have a healthy heart and stronger legs for this adventure. When we reached the Coconino Saddle, (1.1 miles down) I asked our tour guide if I needed to feel my legs to get back up to the top (in all seriousness, as they both has become a bit numb), to which he responds, "You will use different muscle groups on the way up." I legit was having some cramping in my thighs, but thought they would just work themselves out. At this time he also points out where he states our lunch will be, Horseshoe Mesa (did not know this at the time, but later found out it was a good 2+ miles farther than the saddle.) He asked if that sounded like a good stopping point, to eat, rest, then return. We both agreed, sure! We were excited for this experience.



As we continued, it seemed as though we never got closer, but somehow the rim got farther away. I could hardly feel my legs at all by the time we had almost reached our destination for lunch. I had to ask our guide to stop, as I was having trouble slowing my heart rate, and was nauseated beyond belief. He asked, 'is it mental or physical?' to which I respond, "I don't know, both!" At this point I was wondering in my head how much it would cost me to have a helicopter come rescue me, as opposed to hiking back up to the top. But we stopped, I was able to slowly munch on a granola bar, drink some water and Gatorade, and then encouraged them that we should start our trek back. I honestly thought for a good half an hour that I may or may not die down there. Kayla carried my pack, and our guide carried hers and his, so that I could rest, and I certainly would not have made it without having my load lightened. Our trek back up was much slower, with much more cognizance of how each other was doing, many breaks were taken, and rightly so. My legs, by the time we returned to the rim, were a half ton each. Every muscle beyond maxed out.

I would like to take a moment right now, and thank my best friend and companion on this trip. Kayla was SUCH an incredible motivator and encourager throughout the entire way back to the rim. She is a wonderful friend that I am beyond blessed to call mine.



We then drove to a couple other points on that part of the rim, that we would not have seen had our guide not taken us, and walked a small amount more, (or in my case stiffly limped/hobbled) to see the Desert View Watchtower that was designed by a female architect, Mary Colter, which was neat, but after the complete exhaustion I had experienced just moments before, I found it hard to appreciate the history and experiences at this point, due to wanting to just collapse and sleep. We then made our way back to camp. Our guide got out, we said our goodbyes, I hugged him, and he left. He returns about 5 minutes later, and asks us if his boss mentioned anything about gratuity. And encouraged us that this was not included in our hiking guide fee, and that gratuity was how they made their money. So we, though were not completely satisfied with our hike, and actually somewhat dissatisfied, went to our wallets, and found whatever cash we still had left ($40) and gave it to him. He then left, for real this time. And we hit the showers, ate some food, and hit the sleeping bags, HARD. I slept so hard. I was so sore, I remember needing to pee at about 0300, and debating just lying there and holding it in as long as I possibly could, but then relented, and painfully removed myself from the warmth of the tent, into the brisk breeze to meander the short walk to the restrooms.



After rising the next morning (not-so-early) we meandered about camp, getting ready for the day, and decided to take the shuttle bus to the Hermit's Rest route. Where there were several points along the rim that a shuttle bus would stop at to drop off/pick up tourists. There were also walking paths between these points. We rode to the end, then got off, and started the trek back. We hoped to make it until sunset, but we were again exhausted, and just needed some rest. We could tell there was a storm moving in because there were tarantulas all over the roads! We made it back to camp. Ran to the café, ate some supper, and then showered, and bed. All the walking was great for my tired legs, but they sure were sore still.



But it was good. All was good! We really had a great time. Kayla was able to rid herself of something that had been bogging her a little. We had many many great conversations about life. We talked, so much. I hadn't realized just how much I missed her, until I was able to spend not minutes, not hours, but DAYS with her again! We had so many laughs. So many great times. Mind reading moments, total jam parties in Dory. Just an all-around blast.

I am unsure of which night for sure, but one of the last nights in Arizona, Kayla and I were getting in the prepaid showers, both of us had already put in the $2 and started the water, when she realized she had left her towel in the car. We were discussing what to do about it, when some kind lady offers up, 'I have done the same thing before, if you give me your keys, I can run out and get it for you!' Of course, I was a bit hesitant, but mostly trusting of this kind woman, but I offer up, I left the keys in the vehicle too, but you can use my code to get in! So I told her the code, she repeated it back 3 or 4 times, then asked what kind of vehicle I drive. It was a small bathing/laundry facility, so the parking lot probably only maxed out at 30 vehicles, and I gave her brief instructions on where I was parked, the color and make of the car, and my friend informed her where her towel could be located within the vehicle. She returns, quite promptly with towel in hand, and we say thank you so much! Kayla says, 'God bless you!' The kind woman responds, 'You're so welcome, and I hope both of you girls voted...and not for the man who is our president.' Commence awkward silence. I remained silent because I had voted, and for the man who was president, but also I was still buck naked in the shower and this woman still had my car's passcode on her brain (keys, spare keys, wallet, purse, ID, phone chargers, etc all in car) and could absolutely go out there and ruin my life right now if she so desired to! But, Kayla got her towel, and nothing else was missing from the car, nor was there any graffiti after the no response to her voting comment.

So there is a funny note to end on! Also, I am still working on losing 2 toenails, but the rest have remained intact! It's only over a month later. Sorry for the wait for the great story of the Grand Canyon & Rachael/Kayla meeting for the first time. And don't think for a second that I don't want to go back, because I do. I want to take my family there, and my husband and kiddos someday! Except, negative to the tour guided hike. Y'all, if you need tips on where to hike, or whatnot, we have some. And you can absolutely do the Grandview trail, just not maybe as far as we did, unless you are avid hikers. There are several hikes that are much simpler, and even have water stops, etc, and are equally beautiful. So don't hesitate to hike the canyon, just know the guide is unnecessary, as long as you practice safe hiking and come prepared, and realize that some trails will be more challenging. Maybe don't start with one of the most challenging that the Canyon has to offer for your first hike!

It's Just a Season

This too shall pass. This is only a season. Nothing about your life now is how it is going to be forever. Though my circumstances may not change right now, tomorrow, or maybe not even next year, my outlook can. It can change right now. No matter the rut you feel you are stuck in, your heavenly Father is always there to pull you out. No matter what got you here, He will never leave or forsake you. 

Here is a picture of my earthly father assisting me down our rarely moist road to the river bottom where we had cows calving that needed checked. He has been an example of what a good father is quite often in my life, but I thought he was a prime example of our Daddy up in heaven right here. He wasn't pulling me through this mud because I had a plan or mission in mind, no. Here he was pulling me through the mud that I could not have made it through on my own that day because he had a mission for himself and for me. He had a plan, and he wanted me there to help his plan unfold. It's the same way with God. He doesn't need us but rather he wants us. He wants us there to help His plans unfold. He wants us to better His kingdom in ways He makes possible for us in our earthly bodies. But He doesn't want us to feel neglected or unwanted either. He wants us to feel needed and appreciated. But He also wants to be enough for you. He wants to know that you don't need anyone else, but that you want them. You want them in your lives to help fulfill His purpose in your time here on earth.

Sometimes we get impatient while waiting on God for His perfect timing. But sometimes God is actually the one waiting on us. Waiting on us to believe, to have faith. Waiting on us to stop being lazy about our quiet time with Him. Waiting for us to get our butts out of bed an hour before work to pray and dive into His Word.

Relax. God has the one for you. At some point in your life, someone will love you more than the expectations you have grown in the waiting. Be patient and learn to wait, because sometimes a patient person receives the best love story. Who better to receive the best love story than you?

 

Lord, help us believe. Help us be consistent in doing so. Help us consistently be in Your Word and in conversation with You, so that we may be ready when the enemy attacks us. Help us remember that when we believe, everything else will fall together. Help us remember that when we have faith, You will take care of the rest.



We need to change our outlook. We need to remember that He can move mountains on our behalf. He will bless us with the desires of our heart, according to His will, not our own. All we need to do is show Him how faithful we can be, even in the 'little' areas in our lives. He is waiting for you. God is waiting for us.

As in many events in my life, I turned to the scriptures (God's Word) to help me understand, to comprehend, and to help motivate me to keep living a life God wants for me. In this time, I look to Job. Why Job, you ask? Well, poor poor Job. God allowed Satan to directly attack Job. Job is a prime example of faithfulness as he loses all that matters to him, all that is important in his life, yet chooses to remain faithful to God. (Job 1:12) He loses his health, his wife tells him to curse God and commit suicide! But still Job remains faithful and strong. (Job 1:22). Later on his friends give him lots of bad advice. They blame his sufferings on his sins rather than God testing and growing Job. One of them was half right, saying that God wanted to humble him, but this was only a part of God's test.  Then on to the last chapters in Job. God speaks to Job. He restores him. He knows that Job received inaccurate counsel from his friends, 'Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?' (Job 38:2) God fittingly declares that humans do not know everything. Then He humbles Job by asking a series of questions that could never be answered by anyone other than the Almighty God Himself; 'Have you understood the expanse of the earth? Tell me, if you know all this.' (Job 38:18) God then brings him to an understanding that believers don't always know what God is doing in their lives. In the end, Job answers God by saying, “I have declared that which I did not understand.” (Job 42:3) God then blessed Job with twice as much as he had before his trials began.

Do I feel like I am being attacked in any way comparable to that which Job was attacked? No. But I do know that I find myself impatient with life. Knowing where I thought I would have been by the time I was 25, and knowing where I find myself now, just 12 days prior to that day, well I find myself dwelling on all the things that should have been, the things that could have been, and questioning the things that would have been... I see the devil try to slip his hand into the play book and send me doubting the One who gave me breath.

Sometimes I look at my past and wonder if I am single because of the steps I chose to get to where I am today. Sometimes I wonder if I had prayed harder and listened to God more, read His Word more, listened to my mentors more, if life would have led me a little differently. If I would be somewhere else, and by this time with someone else. If my roommate would be a husband to dote on instead of my sister. If my king-sized bed would be shared every night (ha! I work night shift, dream on self) with the love of my life, rather than the occasional niece, nephew, sister, sister in law, friend. If my shower would be cluttered with men's soap, my sink sprinkled with his facial hair, my bathroom door draped with 2 bath towels instead of 1, my closet shared with men's clothing. I wonder if maybe God just needs a break from me, maybe I have been asking too much, maybe I am too needy. Maybe if I stop praying for such things, God will just let him fall into my lap, figuratively.
 

 I think a lot of things, and then I remember my Pastor praying early one Sunday morning, that the single people in our church/community, that they too would be blessed. Lord I know that I am blessed, but I pray You would help me feel it. Help me know what You want of me while I wait for Mr. Forever. Help me know what You want me to do for You in the meantime. Help me continue to pray, with an open (though longing) heart, as I wait to be joined with the one You have in my future. Lord, with all my heart I believe You have not called me to be single forever. With all my heart, my absolute love for children, my longing for a man in my life, I know that you would not have these traits be a part of me, except to prepare me for being a wife and mother. Lord, with all my heart, I pray You would wrap your arms around me and complete me while I continue to try and find my Mr. Forever to compliment me.

Just like Job, on the other side of your big mess, there is a huge blessing. Whether your big mess is something you're waiting for, something you are stuck in the midst of, or even something you have done. Instead of doubting if God still cares about us and our desires, maybe we need to question if we still care about God. We must remember this is just a season, and this too shall pass.

O Lord ~ NF                                 Though You Slay Me ~ Shane & Shane

 

 

"We are not put on earth merely to satisfy our desires, to pursue life, liberty, and happiness.

 

We are here to be changed, to be made more like God, in order to prepare us for a lifetime with him."

~ Philip Yancey

 

Patience not your best virtue? Check out this blog here, on waiting on God and His always perfect timing ---> 'Mom, I'm Hungry!'

22 Things I Learned Growing Up In an 'Abnormally Large' Family

Things I have learned coming from a family of 11. You read that right. 9 kids, 2 parents. Wouldn't trade one of them for any amount of gold, but maybe 3! Just kidding!! I love 'em all! Here's a couple things coming from what the world considers a 'large' family has taught me. Of course, the lessons are endless, but here are a couple that come to mind right away. Don't pay any attention to the order they are listed, that is completely unrelated to supremacy, just like our birth order. :)

1) You can take a cold shower without writing home about it. You're used to being the 3rd in line to the only bathroom in the house, and no, siblings #1&2 never learned how to take a shorter shower, no matter how many times you've whined to them over the years. Thankfully, for many of the years after I graduated from evening bath time to morning showers, I was the #1 or #2, sorry guys! But my showers were pretty short, so I blame the other guy! 

2) You don't get upset when you get stuck with the dog pillow, you know the one. Not the pillow the dog uses, but the pillow-pet that is the reject of the mound of pillows, that whomever got last dibs was rewarded with. You're not mad, because that means the house is full, full of people, all of them using the good pillows of course.

3) When your sibling gets upset and storms out of a card game, you can just let it happen and not feel guilty about it, They will get over the loss, eventually. And just when they do, don't worry, you will remind them ASAP! One day, they will mature, like the rest of them. (Excluding me of course!) 

 

4) It's okay to be mad with jealousy when your youngest sister gets a full-sized bed, when all you had growing up was a twin bed, top bunk, because that's all you had room for. It is also okay to call dibs on the other half of that bed every time you come home too. You know that with her being the youngest, she has probably suffered the brunt of the picking, so she can have that full-sized bed, she may have earned it. But since she's the youngest, you're still her elder and you can still demand sharesies on the bed.

5) You really don't need a big house and lots of extra 'stuff'. Storage is quite limited when you grow up in a 3-bedroom home with 7 siblings under one roof. (No I didn't forget how to count, my oldest sister had graduated from high school and just started her freshman year of college when my youngest sibling was born.) So you learn at an early age that unless you want to sleep with it every night and nap time that you can live without that extra baby doll, newer cd player, newest and coolest sneakers, and better camera. 

6) When you don't pass math class, your iPad may get confiscated by Momma, and yes your adult siblings do get to call dibs on ownership until you get that grade back up. (Using my youngest brother as an example here, math was a strong-suit of mine that I am unashamed about! Thanks to Mrs. Johnson, I graduated from high school, and actually started missing math classes when I got to college!) 

7) You will forever answer to your siblings' name(s). Every day in school and church, and at home for that matter, was a guessing game for whomever was beckoning the beckoned. Susanna, Rachael, Rebecca, err Rose! Get in here! Just the other day in fact, I was called Rebecca, by someone who has never met my sister, and I answered anyway, then corrected them. 

8) When you grow up in a small town, and have a large family, your parents will get 'talked to' a lot more frequently. Coaches, teachers, other kids' parents, etc. They have to deal with more than your average number of run-ins with people who think they can parent better than them, so go ahead and obey them every now and then, God commands it. (Well He commands that we do it at all times, but none of us are perfect. Just do your best to do so always.)

9) You have your own 'mini-crowd' at sporting events, like a souped-up sub-crowd amongst the many humans in the stands. No matter how many people are yelling, you will ALWAYS hear your Dad's voice above them all. By the time the 4th child (that's me!) is making her way through her sports years, he has not only mastered the yell, but also how to shift his farming and ranching chores around your sports schedule, so no, he probably won't be missing your game tonight, sorry not sorry! 

10) Always wear sneakers when going home, for any holiday, special event, or random trip. I have a lot of siblings, and they have been reproducing since 2009, so home is generally quite busy with children everywhere, and I LOVE IT!! But sneakers are a necessity to the chasing and camaraderie that we face each holiday at home! 

11) It doesn't take a holiday or special occasion to bring everyone home for Momma's cooking and some good ole sibling verbal and physical rivalry, and love. No matter what day of the year it is, if you don't make it home when the rest of the bunch does, you missed a lively time. 

12) If you want extra things, literally anything that is not a necessity, or even just a nicer brand of the community shampoo, you're going to have to get a job at a young age. Mom and Pop don't have money lying around or growing on trees, same as every other parent in America, but every other parent doesn't have to pinch pennies as hard as those trying to raise 9 kids on one income. 

13) It won't kill you to work that job for those extra things. This will help you mature quicker and be more responsible with your money at an early age. Whatever you do, do it for the Lord.

14) You probably won't be getting a car for your 16th birthday like all the other teens in your town. Or for graduation. Or for college. No, you will get a hand-me-down, or whatever you can afford with the money you have saved from your job in #13, if you have been wise with your money that is. Take care of whatever car God does place in your hands, because it may be the only one you will have for the next 2,3, maybe even 5+ years. 

15) Don't ever take a loved one for granted. You cannot know how much time someone you love has on this earth. Don't take too much offense to people's reactions when you tell them you have 8 siblings, and they respond with, "that's a lot!" or 'that's too many!' They haven't walked a lifetime in your shoes, and wouldn't respond that way if they had. They also wouldn't respond that way if they knew you would give anything to have your youngest sibling back to add to the chaos you call love. 

16) You won't always make your Dad proud. There are 9 of you kids, someone will always make him proud, but in every moment it won't be you. You can hang your head for that moment, and that's okay. Just remember what you did wrong, learn from it, and do your best not to repeat it again. 

17) Life without television never hurt anyone. Having 9 kids, you can imagine the fights we had, but if we had a TV, we would never agree on one thing to watch, ever. So our parents not buying a tv was actually a huge blessing. Plus, it meant more playing outside!

18) Dad is always right, until he isn't. But you don't get to inform him otherwise until you have learned to do so respectfully. 

19) No matter what, Mom is ALWAYS right. Don't argue with her, it will be breath quite wasted trying to prove yourself correct over her.

20) No matter how many times you tell her otherwise, Momma doesn't have a favorite child, but she might have a couple. Just kidding! No favorites allowed, God's instruction. You may never know how, but your Momma is a boss at dividing her love amongst her husband, her 9 children, and her now 7 grandkiddos! Take notes, maybe someday you will understand! 

21) No matter how many times and regardless of severity of the disappointment, Mom and Dad will still love you, no matter what you have done. Their love is unconditional and limitless. Don't take advantage of that and be a full-time rebel, but rest assured, even when you mess up, they will be waiting with open arms and an open heart. And it pains them just as much to beat your bottom as it does for you to receive the spankings, beltings, bootings, etc. 

22) You can never love too much. Open your heart as much as you can as often as you can, because every sibling (everyone in the world for that matter) can use some extra love always. Love honestly, love toughly when necessary, love openly, and love more.

100 Miles and a little ADD

My older brother asked me the other day, "Do you just like to drive?"

The answer is, yes. For a couple reasons, some silly, some 'odd,' all honest.

I actually enjoy the road, I enjoy being behind the wheel, I enjoy being in control of the vehicle I am riding in (always would much rather be the driver than the passenger, I don't care how much older than me you are, but if you're reading this Mister Forever, I promise to let you drive sometimes...), I enjoy listening to music, I enjoy dancing, I enjoy my SUV. I like to drive. In 15 months, I put a little over 40,000 miles on my car. So yeah, you could say I like to drive.

Many people think I am weird for preferring to travel alone. But I love it, I love being alone, just me and God. Me and my mess of thoughts. If you think having a conversation with me is rough, the ADD amongst my thoughts is much worse than my verbal ADD. I find encouragement in knowing that no matter what, God gets me. He made me this way, thus, He has to get me. No matter the mess going on in my life, no matter the mess I have let my heart get into, or trouble I got my mind into, He is there, and He always gets me. I never know what I will find along the way from one location to my next destination, but usually it is an adventure. (Also, sometimes a smidgen of road rage, usually worse when I am alone, because I do try to spare my passengers of my full-blown road rage bouts.) But an adventure nonetheless, always an adventure.

Yes, I drive 100 miles to see my best friend for 20 minutes. (This has happened a couple times in fact, and I don't regret it, not even once.) Yes, I would do that every day for 100 days if I needed to and/or if they needed me to. Yes, I would drop what I could to be by your side in your time of need. No, I am not the world's greatest friend at all times, but I hope to be so when you need me to be. Sometimes I am busy, I work many hours, but I do have a huge heart. I weep when you are sad, my heart breaks for your loss and your hard times, and I care. I would drive 100 miles, just to hug you, even if just for a minute. I love, a lot!  So yes, I will do what I can do be there for you when you should need me.

His question arose when I was home one weekend, I came home late late late Saturday morning (4:30am), after heading to my Momma's after getting out of a concert in Wichita around 11:30pm. (Wichita ---> Momma's house = 4 hours 15 minutes + stop in Hays at Wally World for about an hour = home to Momma's at 0430.) Woke around 7:30am, to my Pops making train sounds, (still unsure why this occurred, but apparently he found himself amusing, because this continued for a good 3 minutes). Rolled over on the couch to catch some more zzz's after Dad left the house, then got up about 8am. Hung out with my sisters, Momma, brothers, and nephews the rest of the day, then got ready to leave late that night, with my sister-roomie, at which time my brother asks, "Are you coming to Eli's birthday party?" "Yes, I will be back tomorrow after church." "Do you just like to drive?" "Yes, I do."

(Birthday boy and I!)

This particular Sunday was potluck Sunday, always a treat at any Baptist church, we know how to potluck. It was our month to serve and clean-up, and I had already volunteered to several members that I intended to be there. I love my church family, I have bragged on them time and time again to people who have not attended, because they are so great. We are going through some big changes, and I do not want to miss a single Sunday if I can help it. I want to spend as much time with people I love there that will be leaving before I know it. I want to be there to love on them while I still have time to do so. Church was great, as always, and I was able to love good on some good people.

Life is short, so remember,

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Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of your life. -Unknown

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With every moment that passes, you have already lost the last; make the most of each that you have.


After church that Sunday, we cleaned up after the potluck, I then headed home to change, and hit the road for Momma's house again, and loved every second of the trip, both ways, alone. 100 miles.  

 

 

Check out this lyric video to Abandon Kansas' song 'Chariot' here! :)

Insight of Motherhood

Those of you that know me at all, even if only on a 'somewhat personal' level, are aware that I have 6 nieces and nephews, (and 1 on the way!) You may also know that I have babysat for other people since I was a pre-teen.  If you know me even just a smigden better, you know that I absolutely adore children, and cannot wait to have some of to call my own, not just my 'adopted' children aka best friend's kids, nieces, nephews, baby cousins, etc.

I lead with this, so you will remember, throughout this post, that I do love children. I have not and will never do anything intentionally to hurt them, physically or emotionally. Yes, I spank, if I deem it necessary I will spank. I was raised on a lot of beatings, unfortunately, because I was not an angel as a young one, and survived quite fine with my rear completely intact and my emotions healed each and every time. But beyond the necessary spanking, and sometimes a little voice raising, I tend to love on them!

Typically my blogs begin randomly, at any given point in a day that a thought comes to my brain that may or may not make for a good blog, I throw it in a draft post, and edit it when I have time. That 'time' typically occurs during lull hours at work, hence the ridiculously early posting and sharing. 

Since working night shift, I do not sleep as much as I used to, or maybe I sleep more, but none of it as restful as it used to be. I am unaware of the normal time frame it takes a person to adjust from sleeping at night to sleeping during the day, but this girl has not mastered that yet. Medication is almost always necessary to try and get to the point of shut-eye before the sun rises, throwing me a curve ball of awake-ness.

Let me lay out my weekend plans for you. I made plans to get off work Friday morning around 0700, and go home and sleep right away, waking around 1-2pm to get up, shower, and pack and head to my little sister's basketball game later that night. I then had plans to head on from her game to my sister's house to watch my two nieces (1 year old and 6 year old) while she worked her 2 overnight shifts this weekend, Saturday morning have to be up and on the road by 7:15am, with the 2 girls to head to their Aunt's basketball tourney, then up and at 'em early Sunday morning to be back for church with my lovely church family in Ulysses.

That was the plan anyway.

So, why the blog? You ask. Here's why.

I got off of work yesterday, had a niece at my house, so of course had to bug her in the morning, and then tossed and turned and was able to finally fall asleep about 10am, then got up at 2pm to shower and get ready for my sister's game. Showered, packed the bag and car, ate some cereal, and hung out with my sister-roomie for a bit, then began my 2-hour jaunt to her game. Little sister's game started at 6pm, I arrived literally as the national anthem was beginning. Boom! Off to a great start! (We won't mention the fight with the one-way and country roads in this miniature town.)

Her game ended and they won, yay! Took off for my oldest sister's house (1 hour drive). Arrived just about 9:45pm, after grabbing some randoms from my storage unit, came to her house and took over for my niece's dad who was watching them until I arrived. He said they had been in bed for about a half hour and both were sleeping. Sweet, I was sad I didn't get to kiss them goodnight, but 2 kiddos already asleep when you arrive for a babysitting gig is an unexpected bonus every time!

I was dozing off to a tv show, so decided bed was calling around midnight. I get up from the couch and go to the bedroom where my nieces are sleeping so I can hear them when they wake, and can't sleep. I toss and turn until 1am, then finally doze off. The youngest one wakes wailing at 2:30am for her mother. She cries for an hour, then finally I give up on the attempt at soothing and we come out to the living room and watch television, I just pray for some peace and quiet, to prevent what happens next. Her sister wakes around 4am and we all hang out. Now it's 5:30am, yup, bath time is happening! They get bathed, meanwhile their mother comes home from work. Wonders why everyone is awake, etc. Gets them out of the bath and dressed while I hop in the shower, then they all lay down for a bit more shut-eye before leaving for yet another set of basketball games this morning, (another hour and half drive, this time with needing to prepare 2 children, packing snacks, extra clothes, diapers, wipes, etc...you get the point.) Plus switching the carseat over from their mom's car to mine, finding socks and shoes, grabbing a blanket for each in case they want to try to sleep on the way this morning, and their coats. Then waking them at 7am to head out.

We arrive, just in time yet again, pulling into the parking lot right in front of my Mom and 2 of my sisters. (If this is confusing by now, I understand. I have 4 sisters. My youngest sister is a sophomore in high school, she is the baller in this story. I have 2 older sisters, oldest has 2 daughters, 2nd oldest has 1 daughter. Older of the younger sisters lives with me at this time.) We head on in, and the games were fun! All 3 of the nieces were great, played together, watched some and cheered their aunt on some, but mostly played together and ran around and consumed snackage. Then, before leaving, got a call from my brother (I have 3 of them, this was the oldest younger brother), asking if our youngest brother was supposed to be helping our father after the games, asked Dad and said he didn't have to, but Dad wanted to run off with the youngest to go check out the local dairy cattle before letting me take off with him (Dad used to work on a dairy farm years ago when we lived in New York). Then I was to snag him up and deliver him to my brother who called requesting him to come ride-along and keep him company while he was hauling manure from a local feed yard. Said feed yard happened to be on my route back to my sister's house. Meanwhile, the younger niece is napping. She napped through that entire escapade and the rest of the way to her mom's house (Probably a 2-hour nap).

We get to my sister's house about 3pm. We all get moved back into the house from the car, and hang out with my sister before she has to leave for work around 5:30pm. She leaves while the nieces are sucked into the tube watching the new Minions movie, so unnoticed by the younger of the two. All is fine and dandy until about 6:40pm. Then the older of the munchkins runs to the restroom to vomit, a couple times. Ah, got to love the vomit! Then she says she feels better. We hang out, she eats some Cheetos because she refused to eat or drink anything else, and answered me multiple times that her tummy felt better. Then we all start getting ready for bed.

Let the crying begin. The younger of the two went to bed first and seemed to be sleeping. Just before the older and I went to bed, the younger is looking for mom again. She loses it, cries, coughs, vomits, cries, coughs, vomits. I pull her from the bedroom and bring her to the living room with me because her sister is almost asleep already. Two vomiting episodes, two pairs of pajamas, three blankets, some carpet scrubbing, one of a couple laundry loads started, and hard-core tongue-biting (by me of course) later, and this aunt spanks her. The vomiting was 100% related to her making herself cough hard enough that she vomited, and she was being a little bit ridiculous, and following the spanking, she cried, then calmed. She talked to me in softer tones, and really wanted to go to bed. But she was still crying off and on, and I knew she would wake her sister.

Then boom, sister appears in the kitchen. She says, 'I know you are mad at my sister.' I told her, 'I am not mad, I am just tired.' She said, 'I heard you spank her.' I said 'Yes, I did because she was throwing a fit, and made herself throw up 3 times!' She then told me, she wishes her 'sister was big, so she wouldn't cry and whine so much,' I said, 'Me too missy!'

She looks as exhausted as I know I feel, and through the tears that are slowly sliding down my cheek I encourage her to lie down on the couch. I reached a breaking point just then and I just let those tears fall. I prayed to God, asking for more patience, because I really needed it, and for rest for all of us soon. I thanked Him for helping me not lose control with the younger one, and thanking Him that I am able to not only spend time with these girls, but that I get to love on them, and help my sister out, and for this rougher insight into motherhood, even if for a couple hours.

We all just talk for a minute, and then big sister proceeds to vomit again, a couple times this time, in the kitchen trash. Poor girl. So we just sit on the couch and hang out, watch some television, hope the younger gets tired, and the older gets feeling better. She vomits a good 3 times more, not much each time, but enough heaving to make me vomit in my mouth. (I know how ridiculous, I am a nurse, I should have it engrained in me to be able to handle this stuff, but no. At work, I have to be professional, so I try and keep the gagging to myself until I step out of the patient's room, no matter the scent or consistency, usually I can keep it together. At home or in my personal life, I have no need to keep it professional, and the gagging gets a rapid onset and no control even attempted.) So after keeping myself from vomiting, I cleaned out her bucket a couple times, then she relaxes on the couch and appears to be dozing off, we all have survived thus far! I glance at the clock and it's 9pm. This is a good thing, because it is still early right? More time for sleep. But also, it's only 9pm. I am usually a positive person, but I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the time, the last 2 hours felt like an eternity already.

9:30pm, the last time the older niece vomited, and I rinsed out her bucket. 9:45pm the time the older niece decides she is ready for bed, and goes to bed, and the younger thinks she is too, then changes her mind, screams and cries for 15 minutes, then decides she is really ready for bed now (I hope!). As I complete this, it is about 10:30 pm. I am wide awake of course and enjoying the peace and quiet for now, though I know I will regret not being able to sleep right now while the kiddos are. But this has been one of the more challenging weekends of babysitting. I am glad it was with my nieces, because had it been anyone else, I would have told them adios tomorrow morning, and promised myself never to come back. These girls are a big part of my world, and I never see them enough.

Tonight was a challenge for me, but I prevailed, and all three of us survived! PRL! So, just throwing this caution out there for all y'all that may run into me tomorrow at any given time, I am sorry. I may be a grouch, I may be exhausted, and the smile may be forced, but I will do my best to have it present. For now, I am going to bed, counting my blessings, and thanking God for these two beautiful young girls. I know no matter what happened here tonight, next time I see their face, they will be glowing and their mouths spewing "Aunt Rachy!" And the struggle of this weekend will be but a grain of salt in my sea of memories.

:) You can't really tell here, but they are both sleeping soundly. It's 11pm. I'm out.