Dear Officer

Dear Officer,

I see you.

I need you.

I appreciate you.

I may not know you, but I see your efforts. I see you put my family's safety before your own. I see you seat yourself in a restaurant with your back to the wall in the back of the restaurant, and if that seat isn't available, at least facing the door, constantly scanning your surroundings, suspicious of all and trusting of none, better safe than sorry. I see you being filmed every time you try and do your job. I see you live your life frustrated and misunderstood. I see you ridiculed on social media and in the news for implementing your training. I see your exhaustion. I see you walk up to the car on your next traffic stop hoping it isn't your last. I see you touch the taillight of that car, so that should you get shot, at least your fingerprints are there to lead investigators to the right vehicle/owner.

 

I see you.

I see you leave your family and home for each shift, hoping but not knowing that you will return after your 8, 10, or 12+ -hour shift is over. I see your wife putting your kids to bed each night alone, and encouraging them to go to sleep and that Daddy will be home when they wake up. I see you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, as well as the 40+ pounds of duty belt on your waist. I see you hold back the tears as you hold the lifeless body of a baby that was beat to death by their parents, just after slamming cuffs on them and putting them behind bars. I see you wish there had been signs earlier, or wish the neighbor had heard/suspected sooner. I see you question your faith in God, when over and over again all you see is the negative aspects of society, and you wonder how a God who is supposed to be in control of it all, lets what used to be a 'nation under God' become so crime-ridden and evil.

I see you.

 

I see you become more and more frustrated with parents because they refuse to teach their children right from wrong and then blame you when they are caught breaking the law. I see you wish away parents' choices to make you the bad guy to their young children, with saying such as, 'If you don't finish your supper, the cops are going to come and take you away,' not even giving you a chance to be a hero in that little kid's eyes, but instead, making you the enemy from the time they can talk/walk. I see you not just shoot the gun out of the hand of someone who has aimed it at you, and then be condemned for not just tasing them. I see you do right by you, the law, and your department, but forever be scorned for not doing your job right, because let's face it, everyone on mainstream media knows every law and every part of your training and job requirements you must abide by.

I see you.

 

I see you work your 12+ hour shifts without knowing if you will get a break for supper or for a quick goodnight call to your husband. I see you spend countless hours away from your family, putting in overtime as it is needed, but somehow never reaping the benefits of it on payday, good thing you aren't in this noble profession for the paychecks. I see you respond to crazy calls to solve other people's problems because they have deemed themselves incapable. I see you threatened on a daily basis. I see people hate you, not because of who you are, but again because of 'what' you are. I see you breakdown in the office over a call that you responded to and took care of while holding it all together, but couldn't any longer after you reached the secure area of your desk amongst your thin blue line family that you know you can trust enough to break down in front of, but then find yourself being reprimanded by your superior, and told to man-up by your peers.

 

I see you.

 

I see you wishing you had made it home in time for a warm meal, rather than the lukewarm, already considered leftover meal, you received when you finally made it home for lunch. I see you apologize to your wife for being late, and then filling her in on the details you are able to about the ridiculous call that kept you from coming home when you said you would. I see you patrolling the neighborhood that your home lies within, in hopes of catching a criminal in the act before s/he is able to break into your own home in hopes of attacking your family in response to your arresting them or a family member of theirs.

 

I see you.

I see you get asked if you are even capable of doing your job when the crime isn't solved and the guilty party in jail in the allotted 60 minutes it takes investigators on television to do so. I see you be despised, hated, distrusted, and mostly unwanted by others. I see you become a 'bad cop' because someone 6 states away forgot their oath of honor and the whole world knew about it within a couple days, again, thank you mainstream media, thus affecting the image of every cop ever in the public's eye. I see you itching under that Kevlar, while silently knowing it may be all that stands between life and death, hoping it will be enough to protect you from the bullets of a stranger's gun that may be pulled on you at any minute, day or night. I see you arresting a potentially dangerous, combative suspect, and realize there is no 'nice' way to do so. I see you get accused of police brutality, even though you were just doing what you had to to protect yourself and those around you, whether it be more Officers or civilians.

I see you.

I see you burying your brothers and sisters that died too soon simply because they wore a badge and a vest. I see you hurting. I see you holding it all together, being strong for everyone else. I see your honor and duty to serve and protect the very civilians that mock you to your face, the very civilians pulling out their cameras after calling you to their home to deal with their disobeying and argumentative child, with hopes of catching you slipping up, in order to tear you down more on social media. I see you show up to work every shift, ready to do your job, and excited for a new day.

I see you.

 

I see you spend your holidays in a squad car. I see you miss your child's first steps or first words because you were sleeping after a long night shift. I see you take a bullet for your partner. I see you jump into a lake with questionable creatures, to pull a crash victim from the heap of metal that used to be a car. I see you being blamed and accused for doing what you were sworn to do. I see a few bad men and women amongst a majority of good cops, that the world allows to taint their image of an entire population of. I see you doing the dirty work that we are too afraid to do. I see you keep the bad guys out of our businesses, our cars, our homes, and our faces. I see you be the bodyguard, the hired fists, batons, and guns of our lives. I see you do what I am too unskilled or too civilized to do myself. I see you fear no evil.

 

I see you.

 

I see you make all your date night plans in a city in another county in order to avoid the awkward moments of walking out after being seated and realizing you have arrested half of the staff in the restaurant. I see you telling the man in the hardware store that you work for the city, and leaving it at that to protect your family and yourself from any possible danger had they known your real job title, because that is the world you live in today, one that targets you and your blue line family.

I see you.

I see you make yet another run to a home for a domestic call, hoping that the girlfriend is still alive when you get there, hoping that she will press charges this time, hoping that she won't be the one who bails him out so he can beat her all over again, hoping she will be strong this time, and get out while she still is alive, wondering how long it is going to take for her to learn that this isn't healthy. I see you wondering how long her poor fragile body will sustain the abuse.

 

I see you.

I see you wishing you could adopt all the mistreated children in your district. I see your heart break for them. I see you hurting. I see the weight of each call weighing down on you, until you aren't even sure you can stand anymore. I see you running after a subject through alleys in the dark, with no fear, only adrenaline, hopping fences, just praying that the criminal isn't armed and doesn't hurt you or a fellow officer. I see you fight, not because you hate what is in front of you, but because you love those who stand behind you. I see you stay calm in the most intense of situations. I see you help that old lady cross the street. I see you directing traffic in rain, sleet, snow, ice, and the beating sun. I see you maneuver the freeway in a chase like a boss, always careful to keep the innocent civilians safe, while yet managing to not lose the suspect's vehicle.

 

I see you.

 

I see you and your family of blue gather around a lost brother or sister's family and lend all the help you can. I see you all band together in support of those grieving. I see you never stop looking for the man that shot your brother. I see you working overtime day and night seeking justice for that criminal, and to do right by your fallen comrade. I see you pursuing him/her relentlessly.

 

I see you.

 

I see you reach the solace of your home, and just weep tears of sorrow, knowing that it could have been you, and sorry that it was your comrade. I see you sneak in to your sleeping child's room and gaze upon them and wonder when they got so big, then silently promising yourself that you are going to be around more often, because you have already missed so much. I see you snuggle closer and hold tighter to your spouse in bed, and whisper to them that you love them. I see you make a point to stop and tell them that as often as possible, not just at the end of the phone call dates, not just as you are walking out the door for what has the potential to be the last time every time, but throughout the day, maybe while you are busy washing dishes, or mowing the lawn, just pausing to tell your spouse in the moment, because you know then and there that you have this moment, but quite possibly may not have the next. I see you sacrifice nights away from those you love to protect those you don't even know.
 

I see you.

I see you always on alert, always prepared for anything at all times. I see you back your car up against a building so that you are aware of your surroundings and making it impossible for someone to sneak up behind you as you finish that report an hour after your shift was supposed to end. I see you finally catching a break between calls, and chatting with a fellow officer pulled up alongside each other, parked opposite directions so you can watch each other's 6, because these are your brothers and sisters and will always only be second to your family at home.

I. See. You.
 

When I look at you Officer, first I see:

a Brother.

a Sister.

a Mother.

a Father.

a Son.

a Daughter.

an Aunt.

an Uncle.

a Grandparent.

a Cousin.

a Friend.

a Citizen.

an American.

Then I see:

a Sheep Dog.

a Wolf Hunter.

a Protector.

a Guardian.

a Patriot.

I see a Fighter.

I see a Defender.

I see a Hero.

 

No cape, no powers, just Kevlar and class-B attire, but a superhero nonetheless.

 

I say a prayer everyday for you. I pray for your protection while you are putting your life on the line for mine. I pray for your safe return home to your parents, wife, kids, husband, dog, from each shift. I pray for courage, strength, and might. I pray for discernment on how to handle each call and situation you find yourself in throughout each shift. 

And even when it seems like no one else does, know God and I got your 6. Thank you for your sacrifice, shift after shift, to protect myself and my loved ones. Thank you for defending the thin blue line in our society. Thank you for showing up.
 

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Matthew 5:9

Cancer Sucks, Period.

Cancer sucks.

Literally, cancer sucks the life right out of those diagnosed. When a loved one is diagnosed with cancer, it is usually a shock, and usually tends to throw us into fear and other emotions we find ourselves in when we think about that person dying. I don't know why, there are cancer survivors all around us, but death is typically the first place our minds run to. Maybe it's because it takes so many lives each year, worldwide it takes upwards or 7-8 million lives a year. Maybe it is because it is the leading cause of death worldwide.


Maybe it is because no matter what kind or stage, the doctors still have no idea how your particular cancer cells may react to the recommended treatment. Maybe it is because we all know someone who has died from this disease.

I had a best friend lose a grandparent to cancer last year. Have had multiple people who I knew or who are loved ones of people I know receive a diagnosis of one form of cancer or another. Have lost loved ones to cancer. Just had a friend's parent get diagnosed. Have a very active member in our church struggling with the after-effects of a brain tumor, and still receiving treatment for it. I follow a couple pages of some really cute and extremely brave children on Facebook battling cancer.  Cancer is everywhere, affecting everyone in it's path.

And it sucks.

They fight, they give it all they have, literally. Enduring chemotherapy can be treacherous. It is like a vacuum cleaner, sucking all of the health out of a person, while undergoing treatments, to make them healthier?  A person undergoing chemotherapy treatment will experience fatigue, they may feel exhausted most or all of the time. They may feel pain, in the form of headaches, muscle pain, stomach pain, and pain from nerve damage such as burning, numbness, or shooting pains in the fingers and toes. They may develop mouth and throat sores because chemo can damage the cells in those areas. Chemo may cause diarrhea, or constipation, what? This may also be a result of the pain medications deemed necessary to control that side effect, it can become a vicious cycle. Nausea and vomiting are also common, depending on the drug and dose. Can cause blood disorders such as low red blood cells (anemia), low white blood cells (leukopenia), and low platelets (thrombocytopenia).

Other nervous system effects may include weakness or numbing of hands and/or feet, weak, sore, tired, or achy muscles, loss of balance, and shaking or trembling. It may change their ability to think clearly or concentrate on things after chemotherapy. Cancer survivors have called this 'chemo brain.' Chemotherapy can affect fertility as well, this comes as especially shocking news to young people, or their parents. And should a woman be undergoing chemo treatments and become pregnant, they should let their doctor know as soon as possible. Treatment for cancer if a woman is already pregnant when diagnosed will vary on the term of pregnancy, the mother's wishes, and the type, size, location, and stage of the cancer. And then the most widely known side effects of loss of appetite and loss of hair (depending on the chemo drug used). A person's experience of side effects usually goes away when treatment is completed, but some may continue, come back, or develop later.

And radiation, not so much fun either. When radiation is used, it is usually in high doses, to kill the cancer cells in any given location in the body. One plus is that these side effects are localized, as radiation is a local treatment, so side effects are only experienced in the part of the body where the radiation treatment is being given. Hair is generally not lost in radiation therapy, unless the treatment is on a part of the body where hair is, such as the scalp. A person may experience some skin issues in the localized area, dryness, itching, blistering or peeling. They may experience some fatigue, more or less depending on if they are also undergoing chemo treatments as well, as both together will combine their fatiguing effects. Regardless most of these side effects go away after treatment is completed.

There will be good days, there will be bad days. It will be a roller coaster ride, with blood counts going up and down, and staying level, whether at normal levels, or abnormal.


There will be many emotions: sadness, fear, anger, maybe at God maybe not, more than likely at their situation.

Being a nurse, I had to study up on cancer in nursing school, but there are so many different kinds of cancer, and stages, there is no way one could ever know everything about it. But that's okay, because each case is a learning experience anyway.





When you or someone you know is diagnosed with this, it is scary, right off the bat. Everyone knows or loved someone who has died from this disease, so that is an easy thing to be. But even before the diagnosis is made, even before that person may start getting sick and losing hair due to the chemo treatments, even before all hope in the family members' eyes is lost even though that person is still fighting like a champ;  we need to remember that no matter what--this moment, this moment is all you are guaranteed. No matter what, cancer or not, you're not guaranteed the next minute, you're not guaranteed the next Christmas, you're not guaranteed your daughter's next birthday. Live in the moment, not fearing the future, not fearing what cancer may or may not do to you or your loved one, but rest in the assurance that God has it. God is holding you and/or your loved one right now, and He has it all under control. He knows.

You may still be thinking, who is this lady? That I have no idea! I have not lost a family member to cancer, I have not been by someone's side while they underwent these treatments and witnessed the side effects firsthand. I haven't watched them suffer day in and day out, some or all of the side effects I mentioned, not including trying to manage my time spent by their side, my time spent with family at home, paying the bills, trying to fit a job into the chaos.

But I have. Maybe they weren't a family member. I was a nurse's aide in an oncology unit in college, and I saw the side effects, almost all of the ones listed, both for patients undergoing radiation and chemotherapy. And it sucked. But what I noticed in all of the patients I cared for, they all had hope. They all had smiles, not at all times, but every single one that I worked with smiled. They smiled through the pain, they smiled through the chemo, they smiled through the hair loss. They were stronger men and women than I will ever be. They may have frowned upon the lunch tray I just brought in for them, full of food they couldn't find within themselves to want to consume, but then they would say something funny, or a family would.

I have been the listening ear and shoulder to cry on for loved ones who had lost their loved one to cancer.

Cancer sucks, but there are things it can't suck out of a child of God. Including the joy in their spirit and their beautiful smile. Cancer can't cripple love, it can't shatter hope. Cancer can't take your faith or kill friendships. Cancer can't silence your courage. Cancer may radically change your life, your appearance, your health, but cancer doesn't have to change you. Remain strong, become a survivor! I posted a video link at the bottom of this page, to a song that may bring you some more encouragement and more leaning on our Savior's helping hand to guide you through your or your loved ones illness and recovery.

It took cancer to bring my best friend's grandfather's heart to Jesus. It took cancer for him to realize that there is a God, and He is the only hope for life after death. It took cancer to bring him to Jesus.

Cast My Cares-by Finding Favor watch it here!!

Insight of Motherhood

Those of you that know me at all, even if only on a 'somewhat personal' level, are aware that I have 6 nieces and nephews, (and 1 on the way!) You may also know that I have babysat for other people since I was a pre-teen.  If you know me even just a smigden better, you know that I absolutely adore children, and cannot wait to have some of to call my own, not just my 'adopted' children aka best friend's kids, nieces, nephews, baby cousins, etc.

I lead with this, so you will remember, throughout this post, that I do love children. I have not and will never do anything intentionally to hurt them, physically or emotionally. Yes, I spank, if I deem it necessary I will spank. I was raised on a lot of beatings, unfortunately, because I was not an angel as a young one, and survived quite fine with my rear completely intact and my emotions healed each and every time. But beyond the necessary spanking, and sometimes a little voice raising, I tend to love on them!

Typically my blogs begin randomly, at any given point in a day that a thought comes to my brain that may or may not make for a good blog, I throw it in a draft post, and edit it when I have time. That 'time' typically occurs during lull hours at work, hence the ridiculously early posting and sharing. 

Since working night shift, I do not sleep as much as I used to, or maybe I sleep more, but none of it as restful as it used to be. I am unaware of the normal time frame it takes a person to adjust from sleeping at night to sleeping during the day, but this girl has not mastered that yet. Medication is almost always necessary to try and get to the point of shut-eye before the sun rises, throwing me a curve ball of awake-ness.

Let me lay out my weekend plans for you. I made plans to get off work Friday morning around 0700, and go home and sleep right away, waking around 1-2pm to get up, shower, and pack and head to my little sister's basketball game later that night. I then had plans to head on from her game to my sister's house to watch my two nieces (1 year old and 6 year old) while she worked her 2 overnight shifts this weekend, Saturday morning have to be up and on the road by 7:15am, with the 2 girls to head to their Aunt's basketball tourney, then up and at 'em early Sunday morning to be back for church with my lovely church family in Ulysses.

That was the plan anyway.

So, why the blog? You ask. Here's why.

I got off of work yesterday, had a niece at my house, so of course had to bug her in the morning, and then tossed and turned and was able to finally fall asleep about 10am, then got up at 2pm to shower and get ready for my sister's game. Showered, packed the bag and car, ate some cereal, and hung out with my sister-roomie for a bit, then began my 2-hour jaunt to her game. Little sister's game started at 6pm, I arrived literally as the national anthem was beginning. Boom! Off to a great start! (We won't mention the fight with the one-way and country roads in this miniature town.)

Her game ended and they won, yay! Took off for my oldest sister's house (1 hour drive). Arrived just about 9:45pm, after grabbing some randoms from my storage unit, came to her house and took over for my niece's dad who was watching them until I arrived. He said they had been in bed for about a half hour and both were sleeping. Sweet, I was sad I didn't get to kiss them goodnight, but 2 kiddos already asleep when you arrive for a babysitting gig is an unexpected bonus every time!

I was dozing off to a tv show, so decided bed was calling around midnight. I get up from the couch and go to the bedroom where my nieces are sleeping so I can hear them when they wake, and can't sleep. I toss and turn until 1am, then finally doze off. The youngest one wakes wailing at 2:30am for her mother. She cries for an hour, then finally I give up on the attempt at soothing and we come out to the living room and watch television, I just pray for some peace and quiet, to prevent what happens next. Her sister wakes around 4am and we all hang out. Now it's 5:30am, yup, bath time is happening! They get bathed, meanwhile their mother comes home from work. Wonders why everyone is awake, etc. Gets them out of the bath and dressed while I hop in the shower, then they all lay down for a bit more shut-eye before leaving for yet another set of basketball games this morning, (another hour and half drive, this time with needing to prepare 2 children, packing snacks, extra clothes, diapers, wipes, etc...you get the point.) Plus switching the carseat over from their mom's car to mine, finding socks and shoes, grabbing a blanket for each in case they want to try to sleep on the way this morning, and their coats. Then waking them at 7am to head out.

We arrive, just in time yet again, pulling into the parking lot right in front of my Mom and 2 of my sisters. (If this is confusing by now, I understand. I have 4 sisters. My youngest sister is a sophomore in high school, she is the baller in this story. I have 2 older sisters, oldest has 2 daughters, 2nd oldest has 1 daughter. Older of the younger sisters lives with me at this time.) We head on in, and the games were fun! All 3 of the nieces were great, played together, watched some and cheered their aunt on some, but mostly played together and ran around and consumed snackage. Then, before leaving, got a call from my brother (I have 3 of them, this was the oldest younger brother), asking if our youngest brother was supposed to be helping our father after the games, asked Dad and said he didn't have to, but Dad wanted to run off with the youngest to go check out the local dairy cattle before letting me take off with him (Dad used to work on a dairy farm years ago when we lived in New York). Then I was to snag him up and deliver him to my brother who called requesting him to come ride-along and keep him company while he was hauling manure from a local feed yard. Said feed yard happened to be on my route back to my sister's house. Meanwhile, the younger niece is napping. She napped through that entire escapade and the rest of the way to her mom's house (Probably a 2-hour nap).

We get to my sister's house about 3pm. We all get moved back into the house from the car, and hang out with my sister before she has to leave for work around 5:30pm. She leaves while the nieces are sucked into the tube watching the new Minions movie, so unnoticed by the younger of the two. All is fine and dandy until about 6:40pm. Then the older of the munchkins runs to the restroom to vomit, a couple times. Ah, got to love the vomit! Then she says she feels better. We hang out, she eats some Cheetos because she refused to eat or drink anything else, and answered me multiple times that her tummy felt better. Then we all start getting ready for bed.

Let the crying begin. The younger of the two went to bed first and seemed to be sleeping. Just before the older and I went to bed, the younger is looking for mom again. She loses it, cries, coughs, vomits, cries, coughs, vomits. I pull her from the bedroom and bring her to the living room with me because her sister is almost asleep already. Two vomiting episodes, two pairs of pajamas, three blankets, some carpet scrubbing, one of a couple laundry loads started, and hard-core tongue-biting (by me of course) later, and this aunt spanks her. The vomiting was 100% related to her making herself cough hard enough that she vomited, and she was being a little bit ridiculous, and following the spanking, she cried, then calmed. She talked to me in softer tones, and really wanted to go to bed. But she was still crying off and on, and I knew she would wake her sister.

Then boom, sister appears in the kitchen. She says, 'I know you are mad at my sister.' I told her, 'I am not mad, I am just tired.' She said, 'I heard you spank her.' I said 'Yes, I did because she was throwing a fit, and made herself throw up 3 times!' She then told me, she wishes her 'sister was big, so she wouldn't cry and whine so much,' I said, 'Me too missy!'

She looks as exhausted as I know I feel, and through the tears that are slowly sliding down my cheek I encourage her to lie down on the couch. I reached a breaking point just then and I just let those tears fall. I prayed to God, asking for more patience, because I really needed it, and for rest for all of us soon. I thanked Him for helping me not lose control with the younger one, and thanking Him that I am able to not only spend time with these girls, but that I get to love on them, and help my sister out, and for this rougher insight into motherhood, even if for a couple hours.

We all just talk for a minute, and then big sister proceeds to vomit again, a couple times this time, in the kitchen trash. Poor girl. So we just sit on the couch and hang out, watch some television, hope the younger gets tired, and the older gets feeling better. She vomits a good 3 times more, not much each time, but enough heaving to make me vomit in my mouth. (I know how ridiculous, I am a nurse, I should have it engrained in me to be able to handle this stuff, but no. At work, I have to be professional, so I try and keep the gagging to myself until I step out of the patient's room, no matter the scent or consistency, usually I can keep it together. At home or in my personal life, I have no need to keep it professional, and the gagging gets a rapid onset and no control even attempted.) So after keeping myself from vomiting, I cleaned out her bucket a couple times, then she relaxes on the couch and appears to be dozing off, we all have survived thus far! I glance at the clock and it's 9pm. This is a good thing, because it is still early right? More time for sleep. But also, it's only 9pm. I am usually a positive person, but I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the time, the last 2 hours felt like an eternity already.

9:30pm, the last time the older niece vomited, and I rinsed out her bucket. 9:45pm the time the older niece decides she is ready for bed, and goes to bed, and the younger thinks she is too, then changes her mind, screams and cries for 15 minutes, then decides she is really ready for bed now (I hope!). As I complete this, it is about 10:30 pm. I am wide awake of course and enjoying the peace and quiet for now, though I know I will regret not being able to sleep right now while the kiddos are. But this has been one of the more challenging weekends of babysitting. I am glad it was with my nieces, because had it been anyone else, I would have told them adios tomorrow morning, and promised myself never to come back. These girls are a big part of my world, and I never see them enough.

Tonight was a challenge for me, but I prevailed, and all three of us survived! PRL! So, just throwing this caution out there for all y'all that may run into me tomorrow at any given time, I am sorry. I may be a grouch, I may be exhausted, and the smile may be forced, but I will do my best to have it present. For now, I am going to bed, counting my blessings, and thanking God for these two beautiful young girls. I know no matter what happened here tonight, next time I see their face, they will be glowing and their mouths spewing "Aunt Rachy!" And the struggle of this weekend will be but a grain of salt in my sea of memories.

:) You can't really tell here, but they are both sleeping soundly. It's 11pm. I'm out.

Why is Sexual Abstinence Such a Foreign Concept?

"I'm a virgin."

This comes as a shocker to many people. Sometimes when sharing it with someone I just met, and someone who I have known for months, seems their facial expressions and verbal responses are always the same. Usually something along the lines of, 'really? No way. I don't believe it.' Well believe is, because no, I have not had any sexual relations with a man. (Or woman for that matter, unfortunately with the state the world is in these days, I feel as though I should have to clarify that.) I have kissed a handful of men, but not for years. My first kiss was my junior year of high school, last was my freshmen year of college. Only one of that handful was I actually dating at the time. (He was my one and only boyfriend, up to this point.) I don't regret them, but knowing now that they weren't Mr. Forever makes me wish that I could take them back! I decided a couple years ago, that I was going to save whatever I had left of myself for Mr. Forever.

I wish I could say I have lived my life during those years a patient woman, someone trusting that God will make my Mr. Forever known to me. But no, this girl has not always been patient, not always thought and talked about the journey with a smile on my face. No. I have struggled with this for sure.

But.

I am 24 (and a half). I have mentioned in previous blogs that I had my life planned out by about 7th grade (half of my lifetime ago.) By this time in my life there should be little munchkins running around my ankles and Mr. Forever snuggling with me in bed each night. (Working night shift was not a factor in this life-planning of course!)

Don't get me wrong. I am proud of where I came from and where I find myself today, even through all the struggles and mistakes. I have family and friends near and far, a great church to call home, I am a proud homeowner, I have 4 wheels that take me where I need to go. I am beyond blessed.

The one thing I can honestly say I have not struggled with, (except for about 5 minutes my senior year) was saving myself for marriage. And let me tell you, I am glad that those 5 minutes ended the way they did, because in that moment, had I chosen otherwise, I may have had a regret to throw up on this blog right now. But that was God, He was right there with me, encouraging me to be safe and maintain my purity.

So. While I wait, I looked up some verses to keep me encouraged as to why I should maintain my 'virgin' status. I wrote these down a couple years ago, and wrote a note on Facebook about them, so if this post looks familiar, that may be why! But enjoy it nonetheless, and feel free to share it with someone you know may need it today. No copyrights here, just freedom of speech and some love. 

Abstinence Until Marriage

10 Reasons (though there are more) NOT to have sex outside of marriage

1) God tells us not to. (Of course, no brainer.) Seek out Deuteronomy 28:1-3

~~~This is obvious. Having been raised in a church, it is ingrained in us as Christians at a young age that it is wrong to have sex until you are married. God has a reason for giving us this command. He knows what's best for you, by obeying Him, we trust God to look out for our best interests.

2) You won't miss out on the blessing of the wedding night! Read 1 Corinthians 6:16

I personally cannot wait, but that is not going to stop me from sticking to God's commands and His will for my life and my Mr. Forever's life!!!!

3) You (AND your current spouse or relationship partner) will be spiritually healthier. Look at Romans 8:8 & 8:13.

Maintaining your purity, and not spending time indulging in those activities before marriage, will give you more time and a clearer mind while studying His Word, and spending time with your church family.

4) You will be physically healthier. See 1 Corinthians 6:18

No STD's for us virgins, am I right?!

5) You will be emotionally healthier. Read Hebrews 13:4

People talk about sex like it is just that. You see movies and TV shows that mention 'hooking up', 'one night stands', 'friends with benefits', or terms like that, portraying that it is possible to just go around and have sex with any and everyone, but they never stress the emotional effects it has on the couples. Even if you were dating a man for months, years even, taking that relationship a step farther could be quite distressing, and when are you "ready" for sex, who determines that? I just know that I have stamped myself 'not ready' until I have that band on my finger and those vows have been spilt from my mouth at the altar in front of God and man.

6) You will show consideration for your partner's well-being. Look at Ephesians 5:2 and Philippians 2:3.

I do believe, that in waiting, I am caring not only for myself, but also for my Mr. Forever as well. I do not keep myself clean solely for selfish reasons, or to spite those that wish we would have went farther, but also for Mr. Forever. And I know the wait will be worth it.

7) Waiting is a test of true love. See 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 where God states "Love is patient..."

I know this may be hard at times. I know someday Mr. Forever is going to walk into my life, and without even trying or pressuring me, may cause some feelings and impure thoughts in my mind and body. I know that he will be a God-fearing man, and will in no way let me act successfully on these thoughts, but it is inevitable, once you find someone you truly love, that these feelings will occur. It is ingrained in us as humans. We were made to love. But, no matter how long we date (or court), no matter how long we are engaged, I know that he and I will remain pure until our wedding night. Sometimes, waiting is the worst! But, you can do it!

8) You will have no negative consequences to deal with. See Hebrews 12:1

~~~For instance unwanted pregnancy, and your choices there, adoption or keep, and the possible loss of friendships, trust, etc.

9) You will keep your Christian testimony intact. Read 1 Timothy 4:12, Matthew 5:13, Luke 14:34-35.

I don't believe I am any better than any other Christian out there, virgin, or not. I know I am a sinner, and am saved by His grace and bloodshed alone. But I do hope that my Mr. Forever will find comfort in knowing the pact I made with him before I even met him.

10) You won't settle for less than God's perfect will.

~~~When you choose to have sex outside of marriage, you settle for less than God's will not only for you but also for your partner. And I am not one to settle, strive to do your best in all that you do. That does not only apply on the court or playing field, or at work, but in your everyday life.

*If your partner wants sex before marriage, consider that as a red flag of their spiritual condition.
**Same to you and your spiritual condition and wants

Hey! Thanks for reading my blog! I hope something made you smile! Have a blessed day!

Don't Just Hand a Band-Aid to the Wounded Soul

 

I went to the doctor a week or so ago, because my foot had been hurting for quite some time, (the feet in the picture are not mine, but simply for illustration) and the pain had become straight up unbearable. Before leaving I was told, 'I don't think anything is broken' (I concur) and to take some ibuprofen, apply ice and heat, and call back in 7-10 days if it isn't better.

I do believe I received the right treatment that day, but what if my 3-minute visit was for something more serious that may have went unnoticed because of lack of time spent with me, or concern given? What if she hadn't asked the right questions and I hadn't given the honest answers. I work with said doctor as a nurse on the acute care floor here in the hospital where I am employed, so she is somewhat familiar with me, but that was the first time she had ever seen me on that side of the spectrum, patient to doctor, not the usual nurse to doctor, caring for the same patient. Having that background professionally made me more certain that I would receive the care necessary for my dilemma, because I know what kind of doctor she is and how knowledgeable, but sometimes that is not always the case.

We don't go to the doctor with any intentions of lying, but sometimes information may get skewed. The patient may have already Google-diagnosed and only gives the answers that will result in the way they want their appointment to end and their home instructions to play out. Sometimes we come running to the clinic to be seen for something that we see as major, that may have been going on for a long time, and sometimes we get 2 minutes, a Band-Aid, an antibiotic, and a 'see you later, get well.' --- That upsets us, that upsets our mothers, and it upsets our insurance companies (and our bank accounts) when we have go come running back, this time to the ER because the clinic is closed on weekends, and the 'running back' only happens on weekends, or after midnight you know!) because the first issue wasn't properly addressed and is now more complex, requiring more treatment, and quite possibly hospitalization.

If we don't want to get Band-Aided for our physical health, why should we Band-Aid those around us who are suffering in their spiritual health.

What if that lost soul or broken heart came to church seeking love or friendship, God and answers, but we didn't take a real moment to get to know them? What if they came for months, and you still didn't have the slightest clue to what their story entailed? What if even though you never asked the right questions, slowly they gave you hints and tidbits on what was really going on, and you never picked up on them and never tried to put that puzzle together? What if they already know what's wrong with them, maybe abortion, a miscarriage, maybe a hurting relationship, maybe abuse, a death in the family, maybe total and complete despair, maybe financial issues, maybe health that hasn't been restored even while trusting and giving it completely to Him. We may say hello, we may temporarily bandage them with some artificial and possibly forced love and hugs as they walk in or walk out, but let us not be a Band-Aid society, let us really delve in and get to know the people in our churches on Sundays, Wednesdays, and any other day of the week. Take them to lunch, give them a few extra minutes after the service before you run off with your other 'more important' priorities each week. Embrace their need for the Savior.

Maybe God has allowed this person to hit rock bottom and come into contact with you because He has a plan and He knows you too have a story. No matter what that story of your own entails, if He is a part of it, you can always be there for that person in need, love on them, and pray for their needs whether they be physically, spiritually, &/or emotionally. So what if your past is in ruins and full of mistakes, join the club. So what if you aren't 'perfect', weird, you must be human. God chose you and wants to use you, so let Him!

Do you ever feel like this?

“I try to take it one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.”
                                                                                                – Ashleigh Brilliant

Ain't that the truth. We all experience this at one time or another. We feel as though life is moving too quick, so we try to slow it down, by only committing to one thing here or one thing there, but then your car blows a tire, and then your friend's dog dies, and then your neighbor's mower eats your plant.

Literally, if it is not one thing, it's another.

You get caught up in life, your family wants to know when you are coming home again, your work wants to know if you are going to pick up some extra shifts due to the short staffing, and your poor roommate seems to be the only one taking out the trash (for that you apologize and appreciate).

Your body doesn't seem to be getting the attention it needs and deserves, not enough exercise, not enough watching what you eat, and not enough rest.

And that Bible, the one that hasn't left your car since Sunday? Well yup, your soul needs some TLC too.




Isn't it funny how life can just fly by, how we can be so busy, but the things that matter most, the things that would make life more enjoyable if we tended to them more often, those things are put aside with the thought that we will find more time somewhere to tend to them, and yet we feel bombarded with our crazy schedules.



Committing to less things in life may help, but also make sure that you are committing to things that leave you time for yourself, time to relax, time for Jesus, time for healing, time for sleep, time for taking care of your body, time to cook healthier meals if that is what it takes, time for walks, or the gym. God has let us borrow these bodies while we breathe here on earth, to use for His glory, to better His kingdom. Why not tend for them as He intends, physically, emotionally, and spiritually?

 

 

Breathe ~Jonny Diaz