Anniversaries, and my Best Sister-Frand

If we were in a room full of people, and I asked if there was a date this year that meant anything to you, everyone would raise their hands. 

Your birthday probably means a little something, even if it is just a despised day because it means another year has gone by. Or maybe a wedding anniversary, in which case racking up the years tends to bring more joy than resentment. (Not that I know from personal experience, but hey, I know a LOT of married people, and they all get all excited for another year of their wedded-ness.) Maybe the day you asked Jesus to come into your heart and life. Maybe the date is the birthday of a family member, a loved one, your child. Maybe it is the day that a loved one died. Or is it the day you were diagnosed with cancer, or even better the day you were told you were in remission? The day you wrecked your car, the day your best friend died, the day you purchased your first home. 

There are a jillion things that could have dates that hold some measure of significance to you. Some you want to remember, and some you wish you could forget. Some you relive every night in your nightmares, and some you wish you could remember even the smallest of details of. 

Two (well, three) of my 'significant' dates' anniversaries will occur in these next 2 days. 
________________

July 1st, 2008
My boss told me before leaving work last night, to not come in first thing, that they would call me when they needed me. So this morning, I stayed home, and hung out with the siblings. Right around lunch time is when they decide they need me up at the elevator. Just after hanging up with him, I was standing in the kitchen giving my youngest brother flack, saying I was going to wear the hat he had on his head to work today, as it was the elevator's logo on the hat, but he doesn't relent. He throws his palm to the top of his head and holds down with all his might as I tried to wrestle it off his head. So I give up, tell him goodbye, and walk over to work. 

 (Simon and one of his beloved kittens in June 2008)

Little did I know what was going to transpire over the span of the next 18(ish) hours. Of course hindsight is 20/20, but I would literally give a limb, or 4, to go back and hang out with him the rest of the day, an hour longer, a couple more minutes, anything. 

 (Simon and I in June, 2008)

We are having quite a busy afternoon, with trucks dumping over at the Garvey elevator and at the main elevators. Suppertime comes and goes, and as the sun is dancing with the horizon, my boss comes into the main office from over by the Garvey elevator and tells me there is an ambulance across the street from my house. He says it looks like my youngest brother wrecked his bike, might have broken his leg. My jaw slowly drops for a second, then clenches back shut tight with concern. I peek out there, see the ambulance, come back inside, and debate internally with leaving or staying to earn a couple bucks. 

The money wins this time, never again though, never again.

Turns out he had been ran over by a semi and trailer, and they end up flying Simon to Wichita, where he later dies, (July 2nd, 2008) on an operating room table prior to surgery, having too much internal bleeding, his poor body had compensated as long as it possibly could, but by the time they were in the operating room, it was already too late. (You can read more about that night/morning in my blog An Open Letter to my 17-year-old Self.)


July 2nd, 1995 
The date that one of my bestest friends escaped her mother's womb into this crazy world. Do I myself remember this date per se? Nope. I didn't meet her until several years later, and I couldn't even tell you the date that I met this little bombshell, but I can tell you I didn't forget it intentionally! This girl has been there for me through it all. Her house was where I went that day in 2008. It was her birthday, and such a horrible day for me, but I welcomed the distraction. I welcomed finding anything and everything I possibly could to occupy my mind and keep the emotions from rumbling in my lungs and rolling down my cheeks. I don't remember much from that day, but I remember walking through the door and being hugged by her mother, for what seemed like just the right amount of time. 

 (Tier and I at the Logan Co fair 2012)

I can't say we always got along, everyone fights sometimes, but I honestly cannot remember what a single fight was about. So we loved enough to get over those at least. 

She was also where I turned to occupy myself after I wrecked my car the following January. I stayed over at her house many a night. It became such a habit, that I didn't even really have to ask anymore. I would still have to call home to Mom and ask permission from her, but I was pretty much invited over there whenever I wanted to be. 
__________________

So, that anniversary is always one mixed with sorrow and joy. I will always be sad. I will always miss Simon, sometimes just speaking his name wells up some big ole tears. There are memories, and a lot of them, but not enough, I will always wish for more. But, joy, because he is in heaven. He is dancing with Jesus everyday. And even more joy, because though something awful happened on this date 8 years ago, it is still my best friend's birthday! And she deserves a celebration for sure!

 (Tier and I hanging out on Andrew's day of birth!)

So, to my dearest best friend, I wrote you a letter. It is short, and mostly sweet (kidding, all sweet!) But mostly, I just want to tell you that I love you bff!
__________________

Tierney Kaylene, 

You mean the world to me. You have seen me at my worst, and what some would call my best. You rode with me many mornings to school, and sometimes you even got to drive. Sometimes when you drove exciting things happened. Good times, good times. Many hours spent walking around our little town. Four-wheeler escapades. Feeding livestock at the corrals. Making s'mores in the microwave. Sleeping in the living room(s), both upper and lower. Celebrating Thanksgiving down at the motel in Russell Springs. Many times hanging out at Grandma Debbie's house. Riding rides together at the Logan Co fair. You coming to church with me. My parent's 25th anniversary party. Listening to Johnny and June by Heidi Newfield ...over, and over and over and over again with your Momma. Your graduation party. So many good times, too many to list them all, but I got off to a good start there!

You are going to be an amazing nurse, because you are smart as a whip, and you have a kind heart that cares for others, especially in their weakest and lowest times.You will be a wonderful asset to the healthcare system wherever you decide to settle down at. 

You are, and will forever be, my best friend and sister. Life ain't always beautiful, but mine is when you're around. Thank you for being a shoulder to cry on, a lent hand, a contagious smile, and joyful laugh. You make my world a better place. You have grown up soooo much since we first met, and I have enjoyed it all. We don't see each other near often enough, but when we do finally get together, we catch up in mere minutes, and then it is like we were never apart.

Thank you for being beautiful.
Thank you for being you.
Thank you for accepting me with all my baggage.
Thank you for helping me carry my baggage.
Thank you for loving me.

I love you so much dear friend and cannot wait to see what this next year, and the rest of our future brings. (I think I can hear wedding bells and babies crying...)

Happy 21st birthday(tomorrow), sweet friend.

So much love, 
RachyAnn

P.S. You're stuck with me for the rest of time. Sorry, not sorry.
P.P.S. We need an updated pic together.
          That is all. Love you!!!

The Gift of a Friend ~ Demi Lovato

God Gave Me You ~ Blake Shelton

Friends are Friends Forever ~ Michael W Smith

Forgiveness Day 2016

 

Yup, apparently this day exists as a national day. Forgiveness. It's not a touchy subject per se, but sometimes a very challenging one. 

I have blogged about forgiveness a couple times before. It is something I am passionate about dishing out, because far too many times I have been the one seeking it, needing it. 

Everyone on the earth sins. Point blank, we are all sinners. Everyone wrongs someone every now and again. Sometimes intentionally, with complete congnizance of doing so, sometimes completely unintentionally, and quite often somewhere between the 2 extremes.

I can only imagine how much God's heart hurts when His own children are the ones hurting others. 

The greatest example of forgiveness comes to us in John 19. With Jesus willingly giving His life on the cross for wretched people such as myself. So undeserving. Nothing shouts pure and honest forgiveness like letting someone nail your hands to a cross after lugging your own death tree up a hill, letting them smash a crown of thorns onto your head, and letting them whip you until blood is drawn and dripping from all over your torso, arms, and legs.

All the while, knowing You and Your Father above have every right and possess the omnipotence to get Yourself off that cross, to stop it all before it even began. Jesus cried, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" Matthew 27:46b

God the Father, the Son, and the Holy spirit. The Trinity. Three-in-one. But for a moment, God had to turn His face. Imagine the torment it caused Him to see His only Son suffering such pain, and for such undeserving people.

He didn't die on that cross just for me, but He did die on that cross FOR me. He endured unthinkable, unimaginable, excrutuating pain, for me? For this undeserving and disobedient sinner? But, why? 

Some things in life make total and completely clear sense. Attending school, graduating and attending college. Moving out of our parent's homes to blossom on our own. Finding, courting, and marrying your true love. Birthing beautiful children and raising them to love and worship our Lord. But then there are hiccups, if you will, in the road of our life, such as burying a child, losing a parent at a young age, and I liken the confusion of those kinds of events in life to trying to understand God's willingness to offer forgiveness to the likes of us.

It comes as hard to believe, especially for the 'unbeliever,' that a man can die and rise again. Even having been a believer for most of my life, sometimes it still blows my mind. And maybe it isn't event the fact that He died and rose again, on His own will and power, though being a nurse I know that only God could have made that possible. But maybe, it is the fact of His death; the suffering and agony that He endured, all for us. For us, such filthy, sinful, and undeserving creatures that we have become since Eve ate of the forbidden fruit in the garden. Maybe that is what is most awe inspiring to me.

That love. That forgiveness.

'For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.' John 3:16  A widely known and quite possibly one of the most popular verses in the Bible. He SO loved the world that He created, though it had turned into such an evil place full of sinners like me, He loved the lowest of us, SO much, that He sent His Son to suffer and die on a cross, to forgive us of our sins. Sent His Beloved, to pay for sins that we committed. Not Jesus paying for His own sins, for He was perfect, spotless, sinless. Yet He suffered a torturous death, FOR US.

'For by grace are ye saved through faith, and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.' Ephesians 2:8-9 No matter what you have done, or not done (sins), in this life, no matter how much money you give to your church, no matter how many children you adopt, how many highways you clean up, how many lives you have impacted for Christ, no. No matter what, you don't deserve the forgiveness God offers, but that is what makes it so overwhelmingly awesome, and thus should make us all the more thankful for receiving it without even having to earn it. So dish it out, even when it seems the offender doesn't 'deserve' it, because neither do we. God commands us to forgive in Matthew 18:21-22, where Peter is asking how many times he should forgive his brother for sinning against him, and Jesus replies, not just 7 times, but 7x70 times. Over and over again we should be forgiving those that sin against us.

 

So take what you have done into consideration in your daily life. If you were to add up all your sins, does the cluster even compare to the wrong that has been done unto you? If Jesus was willing to love you enough to die on a cross for your cluster of sins, does forgiving the wrongdoer seem so hard now? Forgiving is loving. Show Christ's love in every way possible everyday. We are not here to hold grudges, but to love and show Christ to those that don't believe. So forgive others, believers and unbelievers alike, we all need to see and feel Christ's love through the actions and words of Christians around us.

'Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ forgave you.' Ephesians 4:32

7x70 Times ~ Chris August                       Waterfall ~ Chris Tomlin

Mended ~ Matthew West

Father's Day

Heavenly Father

True fatherhood is grounded in the basis of God's being---in the basis of God the Father relating to the Son and the Spirit. Human fatherhood is but an imperfect symbol of this transcendent reality. The Fatherhood of God is not inconsequential of alterable, for it is the primary basis by which God has determined that believers will relate to Him: 'I will receive you, and will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord God Almighty.' 2 Corinthians 6:17-18
 
God reveals Himself as 'Father' throughout the Old Testament of the Bible. (Jeremiah 3:19). This was also a term Jesus used when addressing Him (John 17)
 


Earthly fathers
Fathers in the Bible were supreme authoritative figures in their families. With just a word, they could determine the fate of their offspring. But they were also encouraged to be patient (Ephesians 6:4), to love unconditionally, to forgive without strings attached, and to give abundantly. (Luke 15:11-32)
 
Fathers have unique access to their children's hearts. Their tender love and intentional leadership can build confidence and instill character like nothing else. On the other hand, harsh words and emotional distance can devastate even the most resilient kiddos.
 
Scriptures present a tender side of fatherhood: 
In Matthew, a temple official came to Jesus frantic for his daughter's healing. (Matthew 9:18-26)
 
In Genesis and 2 Samuel, Jacob and David display deep sorrow at the loss of their sons. (Genesis 37:33-35 2 Samuel 13:35-39)
 
In Genesis and Matthew, Noah and Joseph (Jesus' earthly father) followed God's direction and provided escapes from danger for their children. (Genesis 7:5, Matthew 2:13-23) 
 
But fathers in the Bible weren't perfect; they made their mistakes:  
In 1 Samuel we see where Eli did not set limits for his sons. (1 Samuel 2:12 & 3:13)
 
In 2 Samuel we see that David doesn't make time to spend much with his children, and how he certainly did not live an exemplary life before them. (2 Samuel 12:13,14 & 24:10)

 

Mother's impact on fathers
A mother helps to fashion a good father. She makes him feel loved and accepted, treating him with respect. she shows respect for his position of leadership. She does not undermine his authority, she offers encouragement, reflective interaction, and supportive interest.
 
Reminders for fathers, found in the Bible
1) It is important to make your child(ren) feel wanted (Psalm 127:3-5)
 
2) You are to instruct your child(ren) (Deuteronomy 6:1-9, Proverbs 4:1 & 6:20)
 
3) Train your child(ren) (Psalm 78:5-7, Proverbs 22:6)
 
4) Correct your child(ren) (Proverbs 13:24)
 
The shelter and security provided by a godly father should give their children freedom for growth without overprotection from challenges or tasks that teach responsibility. (1 Samuel 3:1-10)
  
I do believe that the most immediate and potentially impactful way a father can love his child(ren) is by loving their mother well. Children are always watching, listening, and feeling the way their mothers are loved by their fathers. They hear how their father speaks about their mother when she isn't around. They learn how their father respects their mother by observing it directly---even when they don't think their children are watching. They see how their father loves their mother when she is hurting, after they've had an argument, and when they laugh together. They see their father give himself up for their mother, sacrificing their agendas to better serve her more selflessly. (Ephesians 5:25-27)



My father 
If you know me on a personal level, and have for at least a moderate amount of time, then you have probably come into contact with my father at some point in our relationship. He is a humble guy. A guy who sometimes will let you know exactly what he thinks about your wardrobe choices for the day. (Unless it's  me, then it is ALWAYS, he always lets me know how he feels about my wardrobe choices, even if it is to a woman at church who happens to be a good friend of mine with a huge heart, and is also married to a doctor that I work alongside with quite often at work.) In family pictures, you are guaranteed that someone will receive bunny ears from Pops, and if no one will allot him the pleasure, then he will just throw 'em up behind his own head, it's 'tradition,' just ask him!



Sometimes he calls me 20 times in 1 day. Sometimes he wishes I would just 'go back to Ulysses' when he decides he has had enough of my company. He sometimes gets mad, and usually is a total control freak. He wants the pickup moved, just so, and probably secretly wishes that the cows would walk in a certain order while we are moving them from pasture to pasture. But let me tell ya, he loves; he loves unconditionally. After all the heck that I have given him growing up, (and even more so now that I am out of the house), I am glad that we don't even have to say out loud that I am his favorite daughter. (Parents you shouldn't have favorites, so all kidding aside, I do not condone favoritism amongst your offspring.)

Don't worry, I was spanked as much, (if not more than) the rest of my siblings. Well, with disregard to the last two, because I am pretty sure they have only been beat like twice in all of their lives. Younger siblings these days, am I right?
 
Back in December, if you have followed my blog at that time, you read about the moment where for just a second, I thought my earthly father may possibly not be with us any longer. If you didn't, you can read about it in my blog Nothing is Beyond the Reach of God's Hands and read about his hospital stay/updates/progress in reverse chronological order Pop's Hospital Adventures.
 
I am glad to announce he is doing much better. He has taken some necessary to be removed weight off, and is usually following his medication and diet regimen that was ordered by his doctor, but sometimes he does get a bit slacky in that department.
 
I was reading in Ephesians the other day, and it was extremely fitting for fathers:
"See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess, but be filled with the Spirit; speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." Ephesians 5:16-21

The best earthly father is one who has a vibrant fellowship and always strengthening relationship with the heavenly Father and therefor has access to the Lord's unlimited wisdom and vast resources. I love to see how my Pops shows God's love to strangers and family alike. He is such an inspiration and I am beyond blessed to claim him as my father.

To Dads worldwide

No one has the perfect father, therefor no one is the perfect father. You may think you have/had the worst father in the entire planet, but I promise you didn't. And even if he was as awful as you make him sound like, who cares. He is who he is and you cannot change that. But what you can do, is strive daily to be a better husband, better father, and better son of God. You can do you better when Jesus is in your heart. Encourage your children, build them up, teach them about the love of Jesus. Put it in action as you instruct them about it. Discipline your children in love. In case you missed it, mostly your children need love. Love them with all your heart as often as you get the opportunity to do so.

Good Good Father ~ Chris Tomlin             Just the Way I Am ~ Big Daddy Weave

Through My Father's Eyes ~ Holly Starr