Never Too Far Gone

Have you ever done something so bad, so wrong, that you wondered and certainly doubted that God could ever have possibly loved you through it, and especially doubted the existence of His love for you afterward?

If you said yes, well I feel you. Me too.

Thankfully we serve an amazing God who is able to love us through it all.

~~~~~~

When I moved to Ulysses America back in 2014, I just knew God had great plans for me.

Before moving down here, I established a wonderful friendship. A friendship that almost had endless possibilities. A friendship I knew was appointed from God Himself. This encouraged me even more that this was going to be a great adventure to unfold down here in Southwest Kansas.

I tended to that friendship tediously. It bloomed and blossomed, and flourished with such liveliness I couldn't even believe it myself.

Meanwhile, my other friends, and family even, fell to the back burner.

Church was a huge priority, and I made sure it stayed that way. God always being my focus.

Until He wasn't anymore.

Until there were more important things than church, more important things than family sometimes.

Sleep. Hanging out. Walking the streets of our city. Etc.

I was happy, oh trust me, I thought I was happy. I truly was. Very very happy. Our pastor spoke this morning in church, about how happiness is based on happenings. Everything that was happening with me, to me, and around me? They all were quite perfect and right, I thought at the time. I was happy, very happy.

Until I wasn't.

No one was to blame for my loss of that happiness more than myself.

In fact, some people tried to influence the regress of smiles. But their efforts were without yield. I was in a slump. I had lost what I thought was one of the most important people in the world at the time.

Suddenly I was walking a LOT more. I mean, 10-15 miles a night, every single night I was off.

Suddenly, I found myself wondering what this God that I thought I loved and served so well could possibly want with me still. How He could keep this frail and unstable wanderer under His wing and close eye. How He could possibly still care for a stray like me. How He could possibly still have a home built just for me in Heaven.



Let me tell you these thoughts, and my current situations, cascaded into a whole whirlwind of mood swings, total confusion, bad eating habits, an awful lot of wear and tear on what used to be some pretty good sneakers.

Throughout it all, I certainly doubted God. I doubted that He could still love me. But looking back now, He showed me, proved to me, sometimes more than once in a given day, that He still cared for me, that He still wanted me, that I still mattered to Him.

So when you feel like you might have done something so incredibly awful and wrong and sinful, something you just know had to had driven God away from you, turned His face from you and your life, your heart. Just remember this.

That is the devil talking.

Satan wants nothing more than for you to doubt our great God and His love for you. He wants nothing more than you to get distracted, to look away, to turn from God, because He would not turn from you, the devil knows that. But if the devil can get you to look away for just a second, then he believes he has won a mini battle, and maybe he did, maybe you let him, maybe you stopped fighting, stopped believing in the purpose for why you were created.

He won with me. I sunk deeper and deeper into sin, until it seemed okay. It seemed fine enough. It didn't bother me as much anymore, I didn't hear the voices as often in my head, the ones that discouraged my interaction with this sin. They faded. I let the devil win that battle.

But my God has already won the war.

~~~~~~

No matter what I have done, He is here with me. He wants me. He wants YOU. He wants you to know that. He is fighting your battles for you, battles you don't even know are happening. He is fighting for you. Because He loves you.



He is with us all along, He never leaves us.



:)

Music is an amazing tool God has created for us, to bring glory to Him, to worship Him. In church, in the car, at home. These are some songs that came to mind while writing this blog. God brings music to me, in just the right time, with just the right words, to reel in my mind, to return my focus to Him, to praise Him for everything in my life. To bring Him the glory. To thank Him for the struggle and the failures, as well as the victories and easy days. Because no matter what I go through, He has a plan, He has a purpose, for every tear of joy and every tear of sorrow.

So have a listen, because some of these are pretttttty great! Enjoy their gifts from God!

Never Too Far Gone ~ Jodan Feliz

How Can It Be ~ Lauren Daigle
Battles ~ the Afters
Beloved ~ Jordan Feliz
Let Go ~ Flame
I'll Keep On ~ NF
Hold On ~ TobyMac
Salt & Light ~ Lauren Daigle

Thank you for stopping by. I leave you with this...

God has a plan for you. Don't think for a second that He doesn't. You are important to Him. Whatever battle you are facing, whatever you are going through, it is just preparing you for the victory ahead. Keep your head up, your eyes fixed on Christ. Love you all. 💙

Pray fervently. Live passionately. Love everybody. 

A Letter to my Best Forever Friend

Dear Sweet Friend,

You have been my best friend, for the longest. I cannot remember a time when you weren't! All throughout our school years, especially high school, we were so crazy, and had sooooooo many incredible laughing moments! So much crying, which only comes from the best laughs.

You probably felt, especially a couple years ago, that you may not have ranked number one any longer. I feel like sometimes, you may have felt like you were replaced. But you weren't.

You have always been my #1.

You have birthed some of the greatest joys in my life. And you still look amazing. You may not weigh 100 pounds anymore, which is good (because you are healthier), and you are still one hot mom.

You have an amazing life. Your husband isn't perfect, and sometimes makes you cry, sometimes makes you mad, sometimes makes you want to rip out every single strand of hair on your head. But I know you love him, and I know he loves you. And I know you make each other laugh, and among all the tests that have come to your relationship, you have more than prevailed.

You are a beautiful girl. You are strong. You are a determined woman. You are determined to give your children the best life they can have. You are satisfied. You don't quit trying to make yourself a better person, a better Christian, a better woman, a better Mom. But, you are satisfied. You don't need all the diamonds and new cars in this life, a bigger house, the newest phone, a big screen tv. You make do with what you have.

 

You are a bomb cook. I don't think you have made a meal that I haven't liked. I may not be a huge fan of homemade brownies, or guacamole, but I will still eat them (the brownies anyway). They are brownies...what (mostly) sane person wouldn't?

You are kind. You are always so nice to me, and have a great heart. You see needs in others, and do what you can to meet them. You have a heart that is concerned for people. I love that about you. I love that you instill these traits in your kiddos as well.

I have been through quite a lot in my 25 years. Some things I brought upon myself, others I had no control over. But through all of them, God was there, even though sometime it didn't feel like it. And also, through each one, whether right by my side or on the other side of the telephone, there you were too. There may even be things in my life that were going on, and you didn't even know it, but just by being you, you made it better. So thank you.

We may not agree on everything, but we certainly don't fight. You're stupid. You fail. You're not perfect. You're weird. I am like that TOO, so we are a perfect match! We laugh at the randomest things. You are like my human diary, so many secrets spilt to your always open ears. When I am sad, there you are. When I am happy, you are who I want to tell! You know some (if not all) of my ugliest secrets. You've seen me at my lowest. If there was such a thing as laughing too much, you would be the drug in my life that caused that symptom. You've seen me cry. You've walked into my house and made it your own, as well as have let me do the same in yours, numerous times!  I would be okay with you writing my biography, because you know more 'Rachael' facts than anyone else in the world (seriously though, probably more than my own Mom!). No matter what, throughout this life, you have been the consistent person by my side.

When my brother died, you were there.
When I wrecked my car, (9 years ago today) which could have easily been the end of your life, you still let me come hang out with you.
When I found out you were dating my brother, you gave me time to get used to the idea.
When I graduated from high school, you were right there, probably sitting with my family.
When I left for college, we kept in touch, and I would hang out with you whenever I could when I was home.
When you got pregnant, you didn't let me know as soon as I would have liked. And instead of understanding that you may have been going through a lot of things, obviously physically, and for sure emotionally, I got all butt hurt about it. For that I apologize. And I wouldn't trade that young one for a box full of diamonds.
When I graduated from college, you were there, with my family (which was also your family by this point, though we adopted you ages ago!).

Simply put...

You. Are. There.

I want you to know that I pray for you. I pray for your marriage. I pray for your kids. I pray for your heart, for patience, for time for yourself. I pray that you make it through each day at least as sane as you woke up. I pray that you would be able to find time in your crazy days to read God's Word. To pray. To talk to Him, cast your cares on Him. I pray that your relationship with Him would deepen and blossom even more than it has.

I hope I don't take advantage of you. I hope I reciprocate some of these great qualities back to you. I know I am not as great a friend as you are, but I am working on it. You are a blessing I cannot imagine my life sans. Thank you.

I want you to know, because I don't tell you enough, that I love you. I love you so much.
I appreciate you. You are beautiful. You are wanted. You are needed. You are the best mom your kids could ever have been blessed with. And you, you are my bestest friend in the whole world.

Most of all I appreciate that you accept me as me. I appreciate that we can be together for days, or apart for days, and nothing changes. You're the BEST!

Stay sweet,
Rachy

P.S. Please come stay at my house whenever you want. Because you are ALWAYS welcome!

My best friend's name is Heather, and I am the rude one.

Best frand and I :) Love you long time Delilah!

 

 

And some songs, dedicated to you bestie!! <3

Beautiful ~ MercyMe

Grateful ~ Rita Ora

Lean On Me ~ Bill Withers
The List ~ Matthew West