Grace

Throughout my week I scroll through Facebook and see close friends, distant friends, relatives, acquaintances, and then I come across some random people, and everytime I see their pictures or read their posts, I ask myself, "Why am I friends with them again?"

Often when this happens the first time, I say because I like to keep up with them, they may be offended if I unfriend them, or I will decide later. Then later comes around, I see their posts again, again I am in dismay that I am even Facebook friends with someone who posts such things, but yet again I say, "Oh, later." By the third time, I either unfriend them, or keep them there as a constant reminder that hey, that person may not right with the Lord and they need prayer and a friend right now. At that time I decide to make personal contact with them, and if they accept a renewal of our bond fine, if not I just keep in touch so I know how I can pray for them. 

This is easier said than done sometimes. Sometimes that someone has really hurt me, or someone very near and dear to my heart. Sometimes that person has hated me for years, regardless of whether or not I had done something to possibly deserve it. I even have a few friends that hate(d) me because of something THEY have done...how that works I have yet to comprehend. Satan is testing me everyday, tempting me to say rude things, pushing me to unfriend that reminder from my past, pushing the need for prayer to the back of my to-do list. 

I recently watched the film Grace Card, which I strongly encourage anyone who reads this to watch, an amazing film!  In this movie a preacher/policeman is partnered with a man who is depressed and obsessed with the death of his child many years ago. While on duty, they get a call to an electronic store where he ends up chasing and shooting the thief wearing a ski mask in the abdomen. Said thief ends up being his other son, the one he can't even look at because he loved his first son more, the one with whom he can't even have a normal conversation with because of the anger and grief from the death of his firstborn, the one whom he later claims he does not even know.

Anyway, at the end of the movie, this father/cop ends up meeting the man who killed his first son, and after serving eight years in prison and then going to Kenya for several years to serve their, returned to this man and his family to ask for forgiveness for what he had done, the sorrow he has caused their family. This father had been changed by the grace of God, asked God to forgive him and accept him as he was, and help him change, and when this man asked him for his forgiveness they were both in tears, and the father pulls out a note: his Grace card, and gives it to the man. 

The Grace card read this:

"I promise to pray for you everyday, ask your forgiveness, grant you the same, and be your friend always." (Signed by the father)

That is exactly what God has taught us to do! In the Scriptures, Ephesians 2:8 it says "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God".(KJV) This grace, it is free, the only thing God asks of us is to ask and recieve it. His grace is abundant and limitless, He lets us know this over and over in the New Testament. In 2 Corinthians 9:8 we are told "And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work." (KJV) But as followers of Christ we must not demand this grace with an empty heart, with no desire to appreciate it, with no desire to change our ways to be more like Him. 

In James 4:6 it says "But He giveth more grace. Wherefore He saith, God resistesth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble." It is not by works, or the constant attempts to do good things for other people that we acquire this grace. Not by tithing more money, saying more prayers, reading more verses, no. Simply succumbing yourself, your soul, your will, your heart to God, and believing in your heart that He is the one true God, then humbling yourself before Him. Then, then He grants us the grace we need, the grace He so willingly gives unto us.

 

In Hebrews 4 verse 16, "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." (KJV). God knows, He knows when we need it before we need it. He is giving it to us before we realize we need it. He is there for us, our best interest only second to His. He. Loves. You. 

As much grace as God gives us, so must we in turn give to others. That Facebook friend you constantly question, the one who "did you wrong" the one who "you did wrong," talk to them, if need be, type up you own grace card, or grace letter, give it to them, e-mail them, call then up, but most importantly, pray for them. God is always in control, and He will hear and answer your prayer, pray with a full understanding that He is listening. 

Our time spent here on Earth never seems long enough, (though before He created the Earth God knew when you would come into this world and when you will leave) make everyday a good day, smile at everyone that comes your way, love everyone, especially the ones that seem to make doing so a challenging task, and give grace as often as you can.  

Fear Shall Be NO More

~The Lord is my rock, and my fortress and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. ~Psalm 18:2 (NKJV)

One fear that creeps up frequently in my life is my inadequacy for the grace and mercy that God promises me. As Christians we are to, "Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock. (Isaiah 26:4), and yet, God has promised that His grace is sufficient for us. (II Corinthians 12:9). in fact, He has made provision for our salvation by His grace through faith. Read Ephesians 2:8. It is through an obedient faith that we have access into the grace of God according to Romans 5:2.

Duet 4:31 (For the LORD thy God is a merciful God;) He will not forsake thee, neither destroy thee, nor forget the covenant of thy fathers which he sware unto them.

The thing is, we are adequate. God let His Son die on a cross: knowing, believing, and living that truth makes us adequate. He overcame our inadequacy with such a huge sacrifice. As we live day to day trusting in Him, reading His Word, praying and listening to Him, we come to know this truth more. For this we ought to strive, for fear (of anything but God Himself), is a sin.

We need to confront our fears outright. To try and understand the root of this fear. If you are unsure the root of this evil Satan is trying to let overwhelm your life, pray to your Father in Heaven for His guidance, to light up the corners of your heart and find it. He knows where the sin is, but you need to let Him show you, if not, like Jonah, you will simply try to run away...and we all know how well that worked out for him! (If you do not, read his story in the Good Book: Jonah chapters 1&2)

While seeking God's guidance, we can reflect on His promises of protection. In the following verses God promises protection, salvation, courage, presence, safety, and strength. (Dueteronomy 31:6, Psalm 27:1, Psalm 118:6, Proverbs 3:25-26, Proverbs 29:25, & Isaiah 41:10) 

There is one fear that every human being must face---one fear that stands out taller than the others. This fear is death itself. I have no desire to die, I thoroughly enjoy my life, the love I recieve, and the love I am enabled to give out, my cup runneth over. But I have come to peace about the finalility of this life. It is good to be able to say that I am not afraid to die." We all have our time, no two people's length of life is the exact same. Before God created the Heavens and the Earth, He thought of you. He knew your birthday, your graduation date, your future friends, that perfect spouse, your parents, your precious child or children, your life, all of it, He already knew. Centuries before you came into this world, He knew YOUR NAME!! If He had a plan that many years ago.....you must have the faith in Him to know He knows what He is doing. (Philippians 1:21) Before you were born, you were famous! (Listen to: "He Knows My Name" by Francesca Battistelli---> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NHQJWdXfFE )

Jesus paid the debt. Your sins will not be held against you if you'll accept the gift that Jesus purchased with His life. We can rest in knowing this and find release from our binding fears. There are giants in this world, but next to our Lord, they are little, nothing more than crickets.

So, with me, my fears of inadequacy and undeserving-ness of God's unlimited mercy and grace...facing them should not be a forever challenge. I read His Book daily, and indulge in how loved and precious I, and every one of His sons and daughters are to Him. I tell Him whenever I feel less than perfect, when I am having a bad day, when I am fearful that something in my life is not going to work out according to my plan, I let Him know. And He just tells me, "Be still, and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)

"God My Rock"-Brenton Brown---> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0b2GFdxuVk

"Whom Shall I Fear"-Chris Tomlin---> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOkImV2cJDg

The biggest and most successful way to face those fears and get them out of the way so you can be closer to God, is to pray. Let Him hear you, let Him help you, let Him know you. As much as you want to know Him, He wants to know you even more. YOU are adequate, YOU are loved, YOU are perfect, YOU are wonderful, YOU are everything He wanted you to be, since before you breathed your first breath. When you are His, that is exactly who He wants you to be. Devote your heart, your life, your soul, your every breath, devote it to Him.  :) 

Some of the Nutshell

Growing up in a small town, I have lived my life somewhat sheltered, somewhat strict, somewhat exciting, but totally and completely blessed. I have had my share of struggle, my share of wins, my share of losses, and my share of the joy. At no point in my life up through high school did I know for sure to my core that there WAS a God, more than the summer of my junior year, approaching my final year in this limited town. That summer was the hardest summer of my life. I felt as if all God planned for me that summer was to try my faith, expel me of all my trust in Him.

You are probably wondering at this point, what happened? The story begins in 2003, September 3rd, I was at cheerleading practice when we received the call, it's a boy! My youngest brother had finally escaped my mother's womb and entered into this big scary world! 

This bundle of joy, such a blessing to our family! My Pops had plans for him and Buzz once the older two boys graduated, he would still have two boys, and they would do chores, and look out for each other. Four years passed, four years of complete and utter bliss with this little blonde-haired blue-eyed boy! 

On July 2nd, 2008, later in the evening, sometime after 5 or 6 or so, I get a call. I was working at the elevator (during crazy wheat harvest time) a few blocks down and across the railroad tracks from my parents' house. My boss had seen ambulance lights in front of my house and told me my brother had wrecked his bike, and if I wanted/needed to go I should. WELL, selfish me wanting to make more money, and knowing if I leave, I will not be getting paid for my time, thought, "it's a bike wreck. I'll drive to Oakley after work in a few hours. Everything will be fine." (Oakley is just 20 minutes away so this seemed alright for me.) I called my older sisters and let them know what was going on since they are out of town and didn't figure calling them was my Momma's priority at the time. My Mom rode in the ambulance on the way to Oakley and my older brother drove there following, and ended up riding in the helicopter wit my Mom to Wichita as they flight-for-lifed my youngest brother,  just 4 years old at the time. 

He ended up dying from internal bleeding in Wichita at around 3 am that morning, almost to have surgery, when the doctor came out of prepping him for surgery and told Mom to go in and say goodbye because he wasn't going to make it through the surgery so they weren't even going to start.

I tell you what, I screamed at God. I cried. I questioned. I hated. I was a very angry (yes angry) person there for a while, a long while actually. 

BUT I was strong (mostly). I kept it together when I was around anyone. I didn't cry, I held them and let them cry on my shoulder. I assisted with tasks that others were trying to do. I cooked, I cleaned, I did anything to distract me. Maybe that was my initial way of coping, keeping myself busy helped me not dwell on what was happening around me. Then came the funeral, and trust me I definitely cried there. I cry so much at every funeral, but that was the hardest day of my entire life. I don't know if you have ever buried someone very close to you in your lifetime, and I am incredibly sorry if you have, but it is hard. I never wanted to let them close the casket, even though I knew he was dead, and looked a lot different. I just wanted to sit there and stare at him and memorize everything about him, but they had to do it, then he was lowered into the ground. I see that picture in my mind everyday. 

I finally can tell this story without crying for an hour afterwards. I remember the last conversation we had. I have many pictures from that summer, I look at a picture, and I don't see a picture, I remember the place, the time, what we were giggling over, why we were dressed that way, why he was making such a cute silly face, who we were with. As much as I want him here on Earth with us, because simply his presence was a blessing, his joy all over his face all the time, and that smile, as contagious as the common cold. 

Now. When I look at the person I was before the accident, (typically a blessed and content girl) I see a stranger. 

I was naive, yet all-knowing, weak, but a hard-worker. Life wasn't all about me, but I made it that way as often as possible. I enjoyed helping the elderly, but even more when earthly rewards were involved. I loved being involved in extracurricular clubs and events, but mostly when they got me out of school. I worked my tail off to start on the varsity volleyball and basketball teams and enjoyed spending time wit friends, who usually outranked time with my family. 

   

Now, I am completely and honestly trying every hour of every day to be devoted to His way, His plans, His pleasure, His hopes, His attitude. My family is second only to Him. I know with all my heart that God has a plan for me today, this hour. That He is my lifeline, my best friend, my Father. The One who gives and takes away. 

"But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." ~Romans 5:8 

Positively Positive

Happy Thursday! There once was a time in my life when everything was awesome and the sun came up everyday just for me to have another day of fun and money grew on trees and everyone was nice and there was not one thing wrong in my world. That was not yesterday, nor the day before, though if there is a money tree around I call dibs! No, this was me as a small child. As a child I was so greatly naive, not just to the good things in my life like my constant loving parents or the home I lived in, but also blind to the negativity of the world, to terrorism, to bullies, to slavery and torture, to stealing, to getting lost, to abuse, to sin, etc. I knew right from wrong, when it came to going to a friends, or eating more cake. But beyond that, my world was perfect, or so I thought.

Honestly, I can't imagine being a child again! My life today, perfect. Yesterday? Perfect. Today I am hanging out with family, and my newest nephew Andrew, he is just over a week old. When you hold a baby and he falls asleep in your arms, you know all is right in your world at the moment. All the bad horrible things that seem so huge and problematic fade away. You are lost in the here and now, and how perfect and unique this small creation of God's is.

There is not a single day for as far back as I can remember that I didn't laugh. At some point every day, God has brought something into my life that always makes me giggle. Sometimes it is when I am having a bad day, sometimes when my day is awesome and I have laughed a hundred times already, sometimes over the same thing! Or sometimes when I want to be mad or am feeling sorry for myself, then He will put someone in my face or have an event occur, or photo arise that just makes me giggle so hard I can't control the joy rolling down my cheeks. Those are moments I love. 

The only thing I love more than laughing is making others laugh, even if it is at me instead of with me. :) If I just fell and busted my face on the floor, you let that chuckle escape. If I just told the coolest joke ever, that was only funny because of how lame it was, let your belly jiggle! If I tease you, slap that leg. Just let it out! Joy should be overflowing when we are blessed with a Savior and Father as awesome as our God! 😃

 

"Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice!" ~Philippians 4:4

"Until now, you have asked nothing in My name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full." ~John 16:24

"Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Spirit." ~Romans 15:13