Washed in Mercy

"You're restoring me piece by piece. There's nothing too dirty, that you can't make worthy. You wash me in mercy, I am clean."

Lyrics from the song "Clean"by Natalie Grant (watch her music video by clicking the link at the end)

I am a sinner. I know just how unworthy I am of God's matchless mercy and unfathomable grace. I absolutely love music. It has accompanied me through the hardest and easiest times of my life, and all the in between times. This song throws open the door to this facade we may create of God and His abilities. The truth is, nothing we have done is beyond His forgiveness, we can't go anywhere and expect to be beyond His gracious reach. We can't say anything and anticipate losing His love. He is everywhere at all times, but He is only in control of our lives where we let Him be in control. He does not make decisions for us, cool thing is, He gives us that freedom. He lets us make decisions daily about our lives. He is in control, but you are too. He can only control however much you give to Him to be in control of.

Sometimes when life throws us a curveball, we think that God has left us, or He is out to get us, so we stray from Him and His Word, His church, and His will. Sometimes when we are at a high point in our lives, we forget that God is still there, and again, stray. We know God is a selfish God, but, likewise, we are a selfish people, but unlike God, we are afraid to admit it. We love to thank Him when things go our way, if we remember to thank Him that is, and we indulge even more in pointing fingers and blaming Him when things don't go our way. And yet, our loving Father continues to do just that, love on us, because that is who He is, He is love. He continues to care for us, meet our needs, and sustain our lives, even after we are so unappreciative.

When we say that prayer, giving our hearts and lives over to Him, promising to do what we can to live according to His will in our lives, and vowing to abide by His commandments and His laws put forth before us in His Word, we are promised eternal life. We aren't promised a perfect dream-worthy life, we aren't promised a strife-free life, we aren't promised an easy life, we aren't promised a sin-free life. We are promised that we will spend eternity, after our life on this earth, in heaven with our Maker, and that for the time spent on this earth, we are promised the Holy Spirit within us, and the heavenly Father beside us to guide us. We don't know what tomorrow brings, but as believers we know Who holds tomorrow, and we know Who holds our future here on earth, and later in heaven.

So if you know you are a Christian, you know that God loves you, and you know that He sent His only Son to die on a cross for you, to take the burden of all your sins off of your shoulders, and bear them upon His own. (If you aren't, well you are missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime, literally, I don't care how cheesy that sounds!) Take a minute today, and thank God for all He has done for you in your life. No one has a good day everyday, but if you are reading this, then at least you were given another day, do your best to make it a good one!

Recently, while in the hospital with my Dad, I was sitting in a commons area in his unit, and there was a kind gentleman who had walked by my Dad's room on his many laps around the unit, and stopped just now to speak with me and my family. He said he is generally a happy man, positive all the time. He said walking around out here trying to find someone to make smile will help him get better faster than lying around in that hospital bed. That was the most positive 80-something year old man I had ever made contact with, and totally made my day! That man went in to have a pacemaker placed, and though I never caught his name, I prayed a lot for him that day and the next, and his precious wife he so dotingly loved on and his daughters. He is a prime example of someone who loves God and knows God won't give him more than he can handle. He was in a hospital, with heart issues, and yet desired to show God's love and joy to others around him rather than be waited on and lie around in his room. His heart seemed right with the Lord for sure. I strive to be that person everyday, one with a genuine smile, because no matter what trials have come my way, I know that Jesus is here and He will help me through it.


"Clean" by Natalie Grant Enjoy! =)  <---click there

Pop's Hospital Adventures

12-18 @ 1940 He is home, he has slept okay the last two nights. He thinks he can still go do chores and run around with the cows, which made my Momma upset. He hates the LifeVest, as does my mother, because it goes off when the leads aren't making good contact, and thus not being able to accurately monitor his heart's rhythms. He went to Colby today with Sam to get Sam's truck from the shop. Sam and Seth moves cows this morning. Dad says, "I haven't done a whole lot today, was up at the station from 11-12:30 because people wanted to visit, told myself not to stay past noon because I didn't want to wear out my welcome, but people wanted to visit." He then said, "I got to get toughened up, be productive, search the Word, and love and pray for the wife." Silly man! That's what I know today! Thanks :)

12-17 @ 1930 Mom said Dad's first night at hime went alright. States his sleep study is scheduled for late January, the 26th I believe. He is on a 1500mL fluid restriction, which to the rest of us is a total of 6 and 1/4 cups of water. He has a handful of new medications they started him on, and of course the oxygen is a while new thing for him, so keep him and my precious Momma in your prayers!

12-16 @ 1330 Dad is on this way home, they called in his prescriptions to Colby, and a very kind Heather helped prepare them. He is on oxygen, and PO medications for his heart. He will be wearing the LifeVest for the next 3 months, and is scheduled to have a sleep study in Colby soon. He is to followup with his doc in 2 weeks. I will call him tomorrow and see how he slept his first night without the bipap at home.

12-15 @ 2030 The test they did this morning was a VQ scan, that they use to look for clots in the lung arteries, it came back negative for any blood clots! PRL! I just left the hospital, Dad was fitted for his lifeVest around 6:30p and he will be wearing it for the next three months. Unsure if anyone is staying the night with him tonight. All the staff has been amazing. Plans to go home in the morning sometime, Momma will have her hands full, as Silas has an appointment to get a cast applied tomorrow for his ankle, and then it will be all her (mostly) at home with Dad tomorrow! Dad is already a bit anxious about being at home without the bi-pap tomorrow, even though he has been fighting it I know hr knows it has helped him sleep, he knows he needs it. Today he has been trying hard to do everything himself, to learn how to do everything, from things as simple as putting on the oxygen cannula, to things as complicated as putting the electronic pieces of his LifeVest into it and putting it on. Murse Nick is back tonight, and states the game plan tonight is to do what we did last night, and I am sure all will go well, he's a good murse, and he has the same respiratory therapist from his first night, and he was his RT the last 2 nights as well. I am fully confident that unless he gets anxious about leaving, he will have a great night!

12-15 @ 1600 His LifeVest will not be here until 6:30ish, so they will be discharging in the AM, because the oxygen company (bringing the oxygen and equipment from Goodland) doesn't want their driver out that late, I guess the roads are bad back home. Have not seen heart doc today yet, and haven't seen the pulmonologist again yet, thus do not know what they found out from the nuclear medicine imaging they did this morning. Discharge planning nurse (Lori maybe?)has been amazing with getting him ready for discharge (it's her job, I know, but she has been beyond fantastic!) and his nurse miss Aubrey today has been super today! So not a lot of change of information from this morning, but that's what I know! Upon discharge tomorrow, we will know when he is to go to Colby for his sleep test. Nurse said his chest xray pretty much says the same as Saturday, with some improvement. Dad had done really well with the fluid restriction today, i anticipated more grief from him about it! But he has done great. He had physical therapy this morning, they left a walker in here for him to use, he is in the restroom as I type, and his walker is sitting by his chair. He did finally lie down and take a nap, (as did I) for a couple hours. Occupational therapy was in to work with Dad to ensure he was fine with getting in and out of the bathroom, putting on his own pants, toileting, etc, be passed with flying colors.

12-15 @ 0830 Dad was taken down to "nuc med" just now, the athletic trainer that took him down said to expect the testing to take an hour to hour and a half. I haven't been able to talk with the nurse on exactly what they are doing, but nuclear medicine uses radioactive material (in small amounts), creating medical imaging from which they can diagnose and treat abnormalities in the body. His lung doc (pulmonologist) said the test they are taking him for now is to check for clots in the lungs. Spoke with the pulmonologist this morning, he said they will do the sleep test in Colby, and he will go home on oxygen, he says his heart muscle is very weak and the pressure in the arteries in his lungs is very high (pulmonary hypertension) as mentioned yesterday, so hope to run a couple test and get a couple more answers.

12-15 @ 0500 Dad is up for the day, states he feels rested. Hopes are for him to get to go home today, we'll see what happens.

12-14 @ 1000 Heart cath is done, no blockages found, so not sure why his heart muscle itself is weak, found pulmonary hypertension (elevated pressure in the blood flow through his lungs), and the pressures within the heart muscle itself are elevated. Doc Katwall said he wants Dad tested to see if he needs/qualifies for oxygen during the day, but it has been made obvious he needs it through the night. I hope they are able to do a sleep study while we are here, to save a trip back here, but I am not sure on the procedures there, if it is something they do while he is an inpatient, or if he will have to be dismissed and come back for it outpatient, or if that is even required at this point in time for the doctor to write a script for a cpap for at home. Dad is supposed to lie flat for 2-4 hours, in order for the arteries and veins to clot off sufficiently. Once Dr. Beaudry comes in with a game plan, I'll let y'all know what it is!

12-14 @ 0825 Met Dr. Katwall who is doing the heart cath, had some great laughs with the cath lab murses, and Dad is back there now. Mom, Rebecca, and I are in the cath lab waiting room, they said anticipate an hour at least, and if they decide they need to inflate a balloon or place a stent or anything else they will call out here and let us know.

12-14 @ 0720 his murse Ross is back today, says if they don't take Dad at 8am, then it will be 10am or 1pm, which is still just guestimations and will depend on how the previous scheduled heart caths go (according to schedule, quicker than planned or longer than planned), and if they have any emergency patients come in needing it done in higher priority than Pops.

12-14 @ 0500 Dad said at 0430 he was done with that mask thing. So he's up now, with his oxygen via nasal cannula. He's thirsty and hungry but gets nothing until after his heart cath, so he'a mad about that, especially since the bi-pap dried out his mouth/throat. He is laying solitaire right now, and told me to get off my phone and go to sleep, so I guess I'll try. Got KGCR playing via the internet here, praise God for internet! This is the only radio station you would hear if you are at our house, and it is on 24/7, so he is enjoying it. We don't know when he will go down for the heart cath, could be 8am or 2pm. We'll let you know when we know the approximate time!

12-14 @ 0230 Dad slept from 11:30pm until now, he hated the bi-pap when they put it on, because our favorite respiratory therapist miss Kayla didn't get to be the one to put it on and set it, then she came and played with it, and he finally rested. Just was up to the restroom, and now messing with the bi-pap mask, but hopefully he'll quit and rest some more. Unsure on a time frame for cath lab yet later today, but it's really our only big thing on the to-do list, and a very important thing at that.

12-13 @ 1430 Doc Beaudry, cardiologist, was in @ 2pm, said he will go to the cath lab tomorrow for a hearth catheterization, they will go in through an artery in his wrist or his femoral artery to check for blockages in his coronary arteries, take pictures. While they are in there, if stents need placed, or balloons inflated to press the plaque buildup back against the artery walls, they will do it while they are in, and while he is under conscious sedation. The cath itself should take about 20 minutes, if they need to place a stent or open up the arteries with balloons that could take an hour or so. She says his kidneys look good, his cholesterol is great, his blood sugars have been checked periodically, and have all been good (109, 101, 82, etc), there is history of diabetes in his family, but he does not have it at this time. The liver is enlarged as well at this time, still getting some fluid off. His weight this morning was 8 pounds down from admission Friday. Doctor believes he will be able to lie flat easier tomorrow, wants to get some more fluid off today/tonight. I did request that his Lasix be given earlier than 9pm tonight, earliest Doc would let it be given was 7pm, as his blood pressure has been borderline low off and on, and that could be related to pulling off all this fluid, so didn't want to do it any faster than we are already. Heart rate today has been in the 80s resting, still throwing PVCs (irregular and premature beats). Doc says just hang out and get some more fluid off for today.

12-13 @ 0930: nurse Trisha came in and woke up Dad this morning, they waited until 0900, which was awesome! He has already received his IV Lasix and Lovenox (shot!) again this morning, and will get some aspirin and blood pressure pills after he gets some breakfast. Unsure of the plan for the rest of the day at this point. Possible heart cath, possibly not until tomorrow.

12-13 @ 0500: Cpap is on, they lowered the amount of pressure, Dad says it feels better, labs came back, they were concerned with all the Lasix he has been getting that he may have low potassium levels, but they are still good. Dad's trying to rest, I hope he can! Nurse Tammy read me the chest xray results from yesterday, no pneumonia or infiltrates, some mild pleural effusion (buildup of fluid between the tissues that line the chest and lungs), and still the cardiomegaly (enlarged heart), but altogether pretty good xray! That's all I got for now! Thanks for praying!

12-13 @ 0400: Pops has been fighting the cpap since 0130, he has had it off since 3, because he says it is causing too much pressure. He did not want pain meds, because (he is tough and) doesn't want to have nightmares or get addicted. I encouraged that he will not get addicted taking pain meds once, and that hopefully they wouldn't affect his dreams, but we won't know if he never takes any. He finally consented, took some, and respiratory is on their way to try and lower the amount of pressure the machine is forcing into his lungs, and see if he can still maintain high enough O2 levels on the lower amount of forced air. Then hopefully he will get back to sleep, lab came in early with hopes of not having to wake him for awhile. He is trying to do what we (his nurse, I, and respiratory therapist) think is best, even though it's not exactly what he wants.

12-12 @ 2300 they gave Dad his second dose of Lasix for the day around 2100, don't ask me why! If they plan on giving it twice tomorrow, this daughter will be requesting the second dose earlier in the afternoon. Otherwise, he is plum tired and ready for bed. He allowed me to raise the head of his bed, it is at a whopping 6 degrees, but it's better than 0. Respiratory should be in shortly to get his mask on for the cpap, and we will see how he tolerates it tonight. He is being ornery, but listening to his nurse's wishes, and his boss'...(I didn't call myself that, nurse Tammy did!) This is the same nurse he had through the night last night, she says his feet/ankles are more swollen today (I blame it on his persistence to sitting up in the chair without his legs elevated, I asked him a couple times to sit in the recliner or even lay down for a hot minute). But otherwise she says he looks better and is in better spirits tonight. Keep praying! This daughter hasn't slept in 32 hours, but I am still going strong, let me tell ya!...I hope he sleeps well tonight! That Lasix may just ruin my life! No, I'm kidding! I want him to rest and rest well, so pray for that tonight!

12-12 4pm: Dad is starvin marvin, they have him on a heart healthy diet (of course) and everything on the menu contains sodium, so he is limited on what he can order. He had an echo done on his heart today, which told us that his ejection fraction of his heart is 33%. This is the amount of blood the heart pumps out (ejects) with each beat(contraction). The normal level for this is 55-70%, usually at least half, and he is pumping a third, so a big deficit. They also did a venous doppler which showed no clots in his veins in his legs. Still no report on the chest xray comparison, probably no significant change, but this nurse daughter is curious! Anywho. They plan to do a heart cath in the cath lab here at Hays Med tomorrow or the Monday. The doctor wants him to be able to lie flat on the table on the cath lab. That is all I am getting from the nurse at this time.

12-12 Noonish: haven't heard results from the chest xray, they did that (I assume) to see if his lungs look better, same or worse, said this will take about an hour. His murse said he hasn't seen the xray results. Will let y'all know when I know more :)

12-12 @ 0830 Silly Dad! I got here around 0730, radiology was here and took him for his xray, he's back now, chatting up a storm, he just received his heart healthy breakfast tray which he is beyond enthused about, and as he is saying grace, he says, thank you for.....whatever this is...(low cholesterol scrambled eggs!) He is a sick ole man, but he's in good spirits at least! Oxygen is still on, he is maintaining >95% right now. When I got here he asked me what took so long, I said, they coukdn't find someone to cover me at work, and then he said you didn't have to come ya know. Yeah I did Dad!! Oh, I love him! Silly man!

12-12 @ 0400: called and visited with Dad's nurse again. His heart rate us still 90s-100s, cardiac enzymes still coming back elevated. His heart rhythm on his heart monitor is showing some abnormal rhythms. He has been given Lasix to get fluid off, and they will hit him with more later this morning. He finally relented to the cpap being applied, and the nurse states it seems to be helping him rest easier. The plan for the day as of this point is a chest xray, stress test, and doppler studies to check for clots in his legs. They will also be drawing labs to know more about the extent of the congestive heart failure. Thanks for the prayers! And pray for the rest of us kiddos traveling there today!

12-11 @ 2200: talked with Dad's nurse at Hays Medical, they are trying to get some of the excess fluid off his heart, lungs, and body. Lab values and tests done in Colby earlier today show that he had a heart attack within the last couple days at some point. They would love to have him in the cath lab already to check out his heart better, but his nurse states his doctor doesn't think he is stable enough for that at this time. They will be doing doppler studies of both legs tomorrow to check for blood clot(s), his d-dimer was negative, which would suggest there is no pulmonary embolism (clot in his lungs). He is still requiring oxygen, and the nurse states he is having some trouble breathing, but my Dad being stubborn like he is won't let her raise the head of his bed, she definitely sees some sleep apnea signs. He has denied chest pain throughout all of this, he is complaining of his right hip still, and his right leg is more swollen than the left. Will update tomorrow, or later tonight if I learn more. Thanks again for prayers y'all! At this point, pray for him as he hates doctors and hospitals as much as the next farmer, and wisdom for the doctors, to order the necessary tests, and figure out a game plan as soon as possibly, and pray for the rest of our family! Many of us kiddos are already in Hays, but for sure most of us should be there tomorrow! Thanks again.

12-11 @ 4pm
Hey y'all!! Keep my Pops in your prayers! My little brother Seth (hero) took him in to the Dr. today in Colby, and they admitted him to the hospital there, sounds like CHF, haven't been able to talk to his nurse yet (as you can imagine, being one myself I understand her not having time right now, but I want details details, so pray I am patient while I can't be there with him in the instant know) but hope to hear from her soon. I do know his oxygen sats were in the low 80s (goal= >90%) so he is on oxygen. Has excess fluid in his lungs and on his poor heart! He hates facebook (almost passionately), but this is the fastest way I know to update family and friends! So keep him in your prayers, and when I know more I will probably just comment on this post, so check back if you want to stay updated! :) (if a group would be beneficial, let me know and I will create one!) Thanks in advance for your prayers! I love you all!!

Nothing is Beyond the Reach of God's Hands

12/11/15 @ 1600
Nothing will wake a person up faster than getting a text saying your Dad is in the hospital. Now, mind you, this may not turn out to be as bad as I make it sound, but still heart wrenching and terrifying, because even if just for a split second, a thought flew through my mind, 'my Dad could die today.' It is not something one chooses to think about everyday, though of course it is always a possibility, as we are not guaranteed tomorrow, we are only guaranteed the amount of time God gives us, and only He knows when our last breath will be inhaled.

My father has been having some trouble sleeping, and thus been exhausted throughout the day, everyday. When I have been home recently, I noticed this, he has been aware of this, I thought sleep apnea (which I still believe), but he just shrugged off my worry, thought he had fixed it by adding more calcium to his diet. My little brother was with my Dad today, and was unable to even hold a conversation with him, as he was short of breath, and probably falling asleep. While helping my Dad last week, you would have thought I would have caught on, ya know, being a nurse and all, I went to school for 5 years by golly, you would think I could see when my own family members were not 100%. He climbed up in the tractor and that got him winded pretty bad, and he mentioned it, and how sad it was that just that could make him so short of breath, but I chalked that up to being overweight, like the rest of us. It is my job to constantly assess people, and changes in their health, so why did I overlook something in my own family? I don't know. I probably could have talked him into going to the doctor, but he didn't have insurance.

God, He sure works in mysterious ways. My Dad's hip has been bothering him for about a year and a half now. And lately he has noticed himself waking gasping for air, which is why I thought sleep apnea, a sleep study, and a cpap were the answer. Dad didn't want to do anything until he had insurance, but he wasn't going to apply for any until he was going to qualify for Medicare in a couple short years, so he was going to tough it out until then, but things changed last week. Last week he called an organization by the name of Christian Healthcare Ministries, asked them to send a booklet, and then read through it, as did I. He asked what I thought, and if it seemed like a wise decision. I said yes, it carries a monthly price (tiered donations) that each person pays to a lump account, that is then distributed to pay for each other's medical bills, as well as prays for those involved in the organization. For someone without health insurance, this seemed like a wise decision, and boy God could not have had better timing! They just called today, to say that my dad application was accepted, so praise God!

So, back to the primary direction of this post, God. He is always in control. I know that now more than ever, I have known that for years. Sometimes, that is harder to understand than others. It sure seems easier to let family members know that God is in control and encourage them that He knows what tomorrow will bring for their sick family member, when it is not my own. It sure seems easier to pray and know that God will take care of a person, when it is not your loved one. But I do know, though it may be hard to comprehend most times, that He knows what's up! Seth took my Dad to the doctor today, but so did God! God is in that hospital with him right now, watching over, letting his heart beat again, and again, and again, and his lungs expand. God knows.

12-11-15 @ 2345

As I sit here at work, unable to be at my Dad's side, unable to be there for my Momma and rest of my family, and to help the staff caring for him tonight, I am reminded of the last time something serious happened in my family, when Silas had ankle surgery just in the last couple weeks. Where again I was unable to be there because of work, and didn't see him until he was home on my first day off 2 days later. I spent my first day back yelling at him because he begged me to come home, but then opted to play on his iPad in bed all day, and then I  hung out with my nephews (after teasing my Dad for being so tired and falling asleep mid-conversation with me). The next day (Dec 4th) I went out to the cows and did chores with Dad, which did not require a lot of manual labor, hauling 50-lb feed sacks, 5-gallon buckets of grain, a sledge hammer, hauling water, hauling hay bales, getting up and down and up and down from the tractor for each chore, and to open gates, etc. But was more emotionally straining to me than physical. My Pops is very particular on how he likes things done, and especially if he is watching, you will do it his way. Thus, he was a hot mess the entire time, because I am rarely home to help with chores, so I do not know exactly how he would like everything done...thus he spent a lot of time yelling at me, and I spent a lot of time laughing and telling him to calm down. I know sometimes I make him so mad he probably has to remind himself that he loves me, but it's okay, as long as he never forgets that he does! Regardless, chores got done, and I made it to my sister's basketball game, late, and had some pretty attractive bibs on when I arrived, hole in the butt and all, but we got the chores done, and I made it anyway. And I know Dad appreciated the help, especially now that Silas is out on crutches for this next couple of weeks, and he was upset because Seth wasn't going to be able to be home this weekend due to some finals. Dad's hip had really been bothering him that day, he even grabbed the crutches before making his way up to the game, I was standing in the doorway to the gym, because we have carpeted bleachers wearing some greasy and cow manure-y bibs, so I didn't want to sit until I had been able to go home and change. Dad shows up, stood there by me for a bit, dropped a crutch, that I offered to bend over and get but he insisted I let him do it. That is just him, his way or the highway. I can only imagine the fight he gave my younger brother today, when he suggested Dad go to the doctor, but glad he said whatever he did to convince Dad to go, because now he is getting the care and attention he and his body need right now.

I am sure the nurses that have cared for him today have dreaded knowing that a family member who is a nurse is calling for updates. I know sometimes that medical professional family members can be the worst to deal with, they know all the answers, they have all the best ideas, they know exactly how everything should be done and when. But I am confident that I was not that nurse, I simply asked questions, and enjoyed being talked to as an equal. I hope they equally enjoyed not having to "dumb down" for me. In nursing school we are taught to explain medical stuff in a way that a 4th grader could understand, so as to not speak over patient's and family member's heads, and to keep them properly informed on what is going on with the patients and their health. I felt encouraged, after talking with his two nurses today, in two separate facilities, as each of them seemed to have a good head on their shoulders. Maybe they were both new nurses maybe not, but I felt after each conversation that Dad was in good hands, and was where he needed to be at just that moment.

As this journey continues, the journey of restoring my father to the best health he may be restored to, keep my Momma in your prayers as well. She has been strong throughout the day today, but I know she too is worried, she is praying, she has broken down about it, so keep her in your prayers, pray that she takes care of herself as well as she tends to take care of others. Pray for safe travels for family members, to and from Hays over the next couple days/weeks. Pray for wisdom for the doctors and nurses that care for him while he is there. Pray that we may find peace in knowing whatever happens, whatever needs done, whatever care he requires in the hospital, and later at home, that His will be done in all things. 

My Sin is No More Clean than Yours...

This world thrives on political correctness. I completely disregard it. If it is not what I feel or believe, (or illegal) then I in no way shape or form am required conform what I say and do to fit the world's vision of correct. The world is full of people who will tell you everything you want to hear, just the way they know you would want to hear it, well I am not one of those people, I would rather have you hear the truth. The enemies of God would love for you to be deceived, but God only wants the best for your life, He wants you to know the truth.

You and I, we may be very alike, or very different, but NO MATTER who you are, we have one thing in common for sure, that is that--according to God, our creator--we are all sinners. He made us, and loves us far beyond what we can even begin to imagine and comprehend. But we, all of mankind, have a problem, which the Bible calls sin. Sin is anything that we do in disobedience to God's laws, and this disease has infected the souls of the entire human race, from birth to death, we all will have this one thing in common.

Within the Bible, which is the Word of God, lies the standards by which God says we should live. It says, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." {Romans 3:23} It also states quite clearly that the penalty for us sinners is death {Romans 6:23}. The human race is under a death sentence because of sin, it is what we deserve, but because we have a loving and gracious God, He sent His Son, Jesus, from Heaven down here to this earth on a mission to save each and every one of us. This means you, because God does love you. No matter your past, all God cares about is your future, which He (and I) hope is spent in and with Him.

How did His Son save us from this death sentence? Don't all humans die? Yes, we do. But He sent his Son Jesus, who not only drug his own cross to Calvary to be hung, but also carried each and every one of our sins as well. He carried them to the cross, took them to the grave, was buried, and on the third day, God raised His Son from the dead. He is alive! He can come into your heart and life today if you let Him. The Bible tell us, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." {John 3:16} God wants all of us to be in heaven with Him for eternity, but our sins are blocking the way.

I am a sinner too. What my sins consist of, is not even a speck of dust cleaner than those of my neighbor, or yours, or anyone else's--they're just forgiven. Sin is sin is sin. No sin may look alike to the human eye, but my lie in God's eyes, is just as terrible as another man's murder. I found this picture as a good example, to us humans, some sins look bigger, and of different severities, but all God sees is sin. To Him, sin is sin. And it separates Him from His creation that He loves.

When I was a young child, I repented of my sins, and asked God to forgive me and save me. I asked Jesus to come into my life and take control. I live this life, happy and thankful, because I know that He forgave me of those sins, past, present, and future. I live today, knowing not what my future on earth holds, but from the future that lies beyond the second I take my last breath, that is guaranteed for me. I will be in heaven, in the glorious realm of my God. 


I rest assured in this, because in the Bible it teaches us, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." How great is this promise?! I want you to know this today! That you too can be forgiven, cleansed, and set free from the power sin has held over you, by believing and trusting in Christ, as Savior and Lord.  The Bible says that "If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed" {John 8:36}.

All it takes is you, wherever you are, to say a prayer, inviting Christ into your heart and life, asking Him, from your heart, to help you turn from sin. To believe in your heart that Jesus died on the cross for you, carried your sins to His deathbed, and was raised back to life on the third day, and reigns now in heaven with God the Father. And turn, turn towards the Bible, do as He says, strive to live a life pleasing to God from this day forward. Let the Holy Spirit come and dwell within you. And then go, tell your best friend, tell your neighbor, tell your mom, because this is news worthy of sharing, this is amazing news, and read your Bible! If you don't have one, one can be purchased at your local Walmart or dollar store for cheap, or just make a trip to a local church, as I am sure they would gladly give one to you as a "welcome to the family" gift!